In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
8 W  q, h+ {1 R# t9 T& A7 D
In the garden of my heart
/ C6 m( ?% E$ D5 P: d8 e: kYou planted a tree
$ P% a& N2 ?1 TFrom sunset til dawn
( G. f6 P& Q' v* x/ n3 b: p6 a4 cThrough darkness to light
8 D- b/ d  ?6 `- f- a2 K7 N' uNourished with my soul
+ h* ^  v6 H9 \Devoured my sorrow by thee
# u; f/ `) r3 R& \+ q: M
) a6 U/ {  d& d+ E( U# cIn the memory of my life
You planted a dream
( L& {6 I+ N* C' M) FShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
- T$ I# w1 K) mBursting the love out of me
# }1 y% X( w3 `5 u* \
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
/ W# z0 p. Y6 _) P听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
4 h8 N( d& o% h) v9 Y% j  Z
In the garden of my heart
4 V# W0 g1 L9 vYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
/ T3 h9 w3 J0 V3 D$ n+ J) mThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
( ^2 X7 s9 W3 O) {2 u. a( t4 S
/ v) U7 c4 E+ s! [写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
% H  x+ i9 r( @# j; P$ C" K' o) J眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
2 t0 R$ S6 C/ `' ~9 ~: v$ `写得真好。
" F1 J: e% K* R5 ?加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
( V3 `. M$ @( o' l6 u; N如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

7 |6 Z7 G4 A+ o& B五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
, g  r* E( T* F5 s2 t) V
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
+ Y$ B* {$ o. c( b# B8 L9 ZShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
2 r7 ]5 p* C9 x6 V- T
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

' _: J: Z" |4 ]: k1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
+ _3 c; s! e' O' t
2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
) f8 U2 ~) h; @
, p( i! W- F5 @$ HShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

) h8 l- y, I5 V7 Z; Y6 z- F7 X
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
) T3 N( X+ ]$ o1 U: `( ?thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

' z: \; H7 X# }0 CShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

有啊，有很多经典的例子。
, D% a  i" C( w+ j5 g) c
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

% f$ u2 M7 F' T/ U9 n7 L& lDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
- r0 Q+ M* V" D; W9 O: U5 EIf I'm missed, find a flower,
2 p' V( k3 V: `I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

Don't be sad
When you remember me,
6 y" H% s! p6 }For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
* t% r# W4 q$ \6 M% }. c$ _& yFlirting with the lighting,
. L% l, u+ l1 [6 q. r& d. Y0 \Playing tag with the wind,
/ b* {2 q* w' `  B* `  v2 L6 \4 LChasing the thunder
Time and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
! n: `2 F. D9 c8 V* vEnjoying all of nature
. L" a4 R5 g! u/ P% x# QWhile I'm waiting for thee.