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the longest word in the English language

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2012-4-14 13:24 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2013-3-21 17:25 编辑
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) I+ v% U0 c% J9 G# _$ IQuestion: What is the longest word in the English language? : z/ y3 l6 F& ~* L

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Answer: smiles. o0 `% [3 C; ~( O( M

4 a: |- v# x4 c; O% }Why? " a: s+ c. o/ ^8 x& b8 n* L

) k: R) T" X- G5 PBecause there is a mile between the first and last letters.
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:27 | 显示全部楼层
Maria found America% B. r: a4 E, ~7 @" P2 _. G% q& \4 j
Why? Not Columbia? Take a look at the class:
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Teacher: Maria, please point to America on the map. & B) J6 k; y" l( ?
Maria: This is it. 6 Z" f1 z5 g6 W' b) F
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
8 t; X1 z1 P4 U: J2 ^5 m7 F7 \Class: Maria did.
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:30 | 显示全部楼层
The following is an old joke, which is consistent with our Chinese saying 无事献殷勤非奸即盗) q1 a4 L; s" {# F3 v0 g" _6 A: i
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A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.) s& j4 Q0 t. ^$ o5 e
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
9 T1 r( U' [9 kThe Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. " k! t/ o/ C/ V, l
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:39 编辑
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你可以对警察说,我想你是个混蛋/ m. q4 D( n! K9 K! R! [2 g4 ]
You CAN say that you think somebody is a jerk, especially when this person is a cop who gave you a ticket. Take a look:" A% `& g# F% j+ I3 I$ H

  ~% w/ i0 f; f: r! TA man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.
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Officer: You were speeding.
/ p* X  G7 ^5 `8 f# CMan: No, I wasn't.* S. g3 F5 o4 m% [
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket./ ~& a+ m4 o$ m
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
/ q4 b7 V6 {- a) b' L* p3 t9 eOfficer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
  l* G, Y/ \+ sMan: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
$ O0 X! g6 K4 _- ROfficer: Yes, you would.
+ m5 l" Q/ F1 F& pMan: What if I just thought that you were?: O8 T+ \5 J% e
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.9 T& X5 r% u! J9 S
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:35 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:38 编辑 $ F2 b; }7 a( o9 h8 O, D+ @
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为什么男人们总问这个问题6 {) z; H6 m$ T- o3 n4 d9 G! h
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"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.7 z* q) ]! E! m9 |9 m& S
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:37 | 显示全部楼层
老鼠在你家里干什么. u' k5 W" ]5 f, u1 n& R7 a  ?- G

- v$ h' ?  h+ J- a- jA: I'm in a big trouble!! U/ l* h  A8 S7 u
B: Why is that?" Z- D) [2 R5 P* t5 w4 W
A: I saw a mouse in my house!6 I7 L0 @$ C9 s% x& {
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.2 b# N, T0 |' W/ W% |
A: I don't have one.
& q5 O4 a1 G9 U$ |1 IB: Well then, buy one.# M3 u% g$ w7 W
A: Can't afford one.
5 _! l4 F4 k# x. QB: I can give you mine if you want.
7 d. Y4 |6 }3 K. |7 wA: That sounds good.
' ]8 l, z) S% Y' cB: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
; W; d8 @* \! }& ZA: I don't have any cheese.% O# a% ^+ V3 d; F8 t# l2 S' D
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
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B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.. o7 O6 |$ `" ^9 c* {+ Y
A: I don't have bread.
. n+ ~* E/ g; S* _2 u9 \4 m" ?B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:40 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
等一分钟
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A man is talking to God.
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/ [) h1 c, _! r8 n  RThe man: "God, how long is a million years?"
) Q) ]0 i7 _" [7 k% p. I- xGod: "To me, it's about a minute."# J$ @$ x0 M9 n( x; {4 b
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
9 O# @3 H" G4 `# b- AGod: "To me it's a penny."
) j7 U$ n* U) G- MThe man: "God, may I have a penny?"
- S# l9 o% Q& d+ j) s3 X+ HGod: "Wait a minute."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:44 | 显示全部楼层
Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player? ; Y" {5 z) z3 O; \* W/ |

+ i0 Q! L$ C0 G, x" uShe lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.
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(Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.)
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
I is or I am/ W% n. K/ q/ g6 Y% n
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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". & ]/ w7 B5 N, Y
Student: I is the...
. f8 a% ~" J7 S1 STeacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".  d4 V4 ^) M- I) p; U
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:06 编辑
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6 Q5 U; `( B3 L2 BQ: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter? 3 Q5 F. A5 n5 I1 d  D

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A: An envelope.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:54 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑 ' Y5 Q7 l  t3 G) v3 {
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Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?
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, B- I2 F, V! n2 HA: A stamp.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:55 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑 ! E& f% L' R8 T9 T0 x1 m( c2 n" O4 u
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Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
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A: A blackboard.
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:59 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:02 编辑 , ], H: U2 c) X# x0 @
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Riddles of Alphabet
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3 _8 T4 {; J: _" vQ: What letter of the alphabet is an insect? ( ]! O' k* H- I* W8 A7 z

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A: B. (bee)
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Q: What letter is a part of the head?
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A: I. (eye)/ i. V$ c: R, K0 [
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Q: What letter is a drink? & w, L, S: x. r. U2 f# f

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A: T. (tea)
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Q: What letter is a body of water? 0 D# \, p( Y! x3 V( l
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Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"? ) y, }. r0 e0 B2 k  ?6 ~  j4 p

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A: The letter " I ": j2 @/ c2 P; P& m9 v
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Q: What letter is a vegetable? : W" b, W. M) h6 e* t
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A: P. (pea)
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Q: What letter is an exclamation?
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Q: What letter is a European bird?
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A: J. (Jay)
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. z" c6 F) j0 K8 ?# b( m0 u8 IQ: What letter is looking for causes ?
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! S  w$ V! B9 Z) t  o4 U0 kA: Y. (why)
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) ~. R2 a+ B  V; [  K& s  I% pQ: What four letters frighten a thief? ' Z% K$ F/ W+ x$ n' l1 i0 F
; E- e6 d: D: V, Z

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7 d5 q) k, c4 v

1 _% r2 z9 @* b) M3 P
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; N! o8 M! J8 v: ^- ^( M% u2 d8 N4 |' K  }9 ~

* O, P9 B. s5 X: |- v1 iA: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)& h% z6 h& A7 j) h6 S7 y* X# _
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Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years? : U- ^" ]4 G8 ]  d5 T
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6 a8 O# b/ _- P- r( B/ |A: The letter "m".
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Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
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A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.  k/ H  N' n' m8 I
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Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
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5 N$ P& ]0 ~8 ^, h& P/ W

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7 t" o; T; e3 e: \. c/ [+ A1 y1 @A: It can make "her" "hear." g( U6 X' ^9 Y1 C( H/ b

6 X' D9 m+ z2 k. @+ K1 u; IQ: Which is the loudest vowel? / E. i+ f4 A- f% Z2 X7 g! d
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! ^) g5 @: U* ^& |& y  i' z% [4 {4 l: f' Z' t7 Z0 G# Z4 R/ K
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5 q# N& f  \' `% f5 L, Y

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: W7 G% q! }9 C! s' A
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1 \- V; X6 E5 b. T: f& G) ]A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise! q) i) C1 r* J7 f& X: ]( q

4 e$ Q7 I0 O6 \- v) i  S$ a+ JQ: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike? , K  g" B/ d( C$ J

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  k' [9 Z5 x) z. v4 ?- {1 z, o* V  p* ]2 N+ l# O
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; a5 h; |* Q/ L9 b  f: s# }: xA: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".
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- P' Z# a' l* W2 f$ [Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
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A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".
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Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
: z' s" c& r& b: b# ^7 \
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0 b% R+ ~! W: Y# h3 f5 t7 Y$ r  D" I$ t

6 l% c$ F! C1 f: t' I( ?9 M. ~: B& P0 u, E! K. Q( `9 v

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$ n. Z8 S4 Z: d/ F# p
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/ m- s: S/ o  F# l$ g# {+ N2 v' M3 s, T% N7 O& t/ e1 i! |

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3 k. M) S- @' g" O& |1 u) G( [A: Alphabet = (26 letters)% J, b7 J2 }. F( R# x" v
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Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?
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0 X5 O9 ?8 T% Q9 ]) P9 m  m

: p# f1 c1 w7 c& b/ y$ G# G/ I3 q2 t2 a" R, p" R7 A

9 }" r/ U! e4 b! \8 Z# T) A: o) f' Z  S% J2 m: H) w

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% E4 Z& d$ {# Z9 Y( ?+ S; I# Z0 TA: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".# R' `+ G' o, r! q1 ^- x# [8 \
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Q: What is the end of everything? + i! ~% X+ f+ e: C5 |( B" m* W6 |

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1 L* B0 v8 [, F/ ^) L  [
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A: The letter "g".
鲜花(122) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-4-14 22:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(49) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-5 16:15 | 显示全部楼层
尘肺???????????
大型搬家
鲜花(49) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-5 16:20 | 显示全部楼层
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
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补充内容 (2012-5-16 12:51):2 a; w' [: h4 ]' e
I did not know those sources of the word, thanks!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-15 06:52 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-15 11:04 | 显示全部楼层
CANDYMAN 发表于 2012-5-5 16:20
/ M) |% j& T& w# I1 r1 T( mpneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
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great job
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-29 10:32 | 显示全部楼层
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(647) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2012-5-30 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
不就是\smile吗
鲜花(13) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-6-8 12:31 | 显示全部楼层
435t45rhrthrt
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-28 08:14 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
鲜花(163) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2012-8-30 13:45 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
9楼的笑话没看懂哦?
鲜花(156) 鸡蛋(2)
发表于 2012-9-11 16:22 | 显示全部楼层
shelley.micheal 发表于 2012-8-30 14:45
7 h3 }$ N1 P. \- Y6 l9楼的笑话没看懂哦?
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以I开头造句:
0 d; S2 K4 q1 `3 q& t' Y0 w, p他本来想说:I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am,结果意思变成我是第9个字母。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 17:27 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
billzhao 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45 - U( H" ~" x3 o3 F# V9 Y% d9 ^. O
I is or I am5 i: y/ Y5 y$ i
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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 17:29 | 显示全部楼层
fushiyu 发表于 2012-9-11 16:22
, ^) q% g) ^: c6 m以I开头造句:
; ^; @. M- T) V7 l( Y1 @' C他本来想说:I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am,结果意思变成我是第9个字 ...
3 i0 d2 f. f' v3 B; p" v. J6 y
The ninth letter is I
5 S# g5 c6 y1 T( j6 b"I" is the ninth letter
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2013-3-24 15:05 | 显示全部楼层
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