 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!- y% r4 Q; S( D2 ^% ~
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写. o0 i G8 @+ _/ V& P( i7 |
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.8 F( P; w4 a) z3 C) D8 }
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫) L* m6 h2 R2 B
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it4 Z4 |% w0 T8 q5 p/ a' ]$ d
down.& s1 r: e& M" z) V& s
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.) M. Z+ p# _* Y8 T* H2 r4 T5 i, e
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？* |# Q$ `1 a+ u- I
6 O! l0 R2 V) v" R1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 }4 J2 |6 _7 m" C+ A- ~
Let it be.
( `! A/ V+ v1 P1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去/ _$ M* o- Q0 s ~, M. Q
4 m( d* R; o6 b$ x1 @* [1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it F& ?4 j% D0 N% y* q
that way.
! G2 N7 K+ N' [1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！. m. v' i2 P1 Z% w; L2 l
& z- q8 b( L$ \4 ?) R8 r; \5 t1. Crying is blackmail.# ^4 f3 ^% B Y( [: w
1，哭泣是敲诈+ b9 ?# F0 H1 f& n+ ]2 w# V" a2 s
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1. Ask for what you want.: B' ]# P3 k7 b+ b; A& g
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
$ L' x! X" q. R J2 Z3 X" p' O% }/ t! fStrong hints do not work!/ l" Z8 G5 L+ r4 ]4 b1 M; a0 Z1 W
Obvious hints do not work!& S0 |( |. \+ T( [" m
Just say it!$ A8 h+ b% w4 g( w/ p
1，你想要什么就说/ G8 w: }, L$ o, _! H0 U' O" m+ J
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！! ?. Z( O" c5 ~. I! X* M; v
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every $ o$ _! h7 j# w% N2 D' q6 S
question.
2 [, \3 f, d4 G/ _0 U1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
# {8 f- b# T" j( Bwhat we do.
* d- k# `/ `- f3 N2 x7 S6 l3 oSympathy is what your girlfriends are for./ x) `* p Y$ w: L! x) A
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。2 |* a/ k2 O; d! Y
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.8 A0 A0 k8 H Q5 J
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
1 t7 y: u8 _, S) y9 p, y1 bIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.% m K, M7 t9 }
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了3 H! ~9 s/ O, J- y' ?2 j' ?" a& d
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
( \1 e0 Q; r4 H% ?: Wto act like soap opera guys.
7 X5 j1 F* g& @$ ^# v8 u+ O1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们& ~" r7 B5 P/ l B- |3 _
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
7 M( H- n6 j' ?2 T. z1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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Q( i: a5 c5 C, e# a# F9 s- P6 c$ A1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways$ U( \% t9 y/ S" M$ `
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6 e$ L" a6 p H e; D$ t4 H1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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6 Y5 n3 g2 b9 @3 B1 i: Q（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）! {' o" `9 o% |# F
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it5 Y+ l/ N* I: G1 P- t8 K6 x; c
done. Not both.% D- L* _. q( |
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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4 R* p; x' E9 v" e9 [1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.2 B6 j0 w' K8 B% Q
- j! b3 i0 B1 O0 B8 J: ?1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
$ I6 M" w& @! ]; d! Q) YPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
' j1 M' Z/ H4 c8 i% rWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that., R; {5 m+ U) l( F, O% X
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
2 @: m" O5 K5 |nothing's wrong.3 c6 o9 V8 F6 H1 R
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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8 ]7 y0 M7 ~: Y) b1 H2 z* A; s7 j1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer) m B6 g8 Z; }2 x% L
you don't want to hear.% ]* f9 n) i2 Y' ^5 H$ U7 W3 H( h% L8 D
- H* G% N l. j+ V4 h+ Z% V# Z1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
- S$ I5 y( Q& F$ n( q7 v5 T4 Pfine...Really.
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& } h# n- Z7 S2 M3 [2 m1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to. F1 B+ a2 P+ B) v4 N; }& _6 i
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.0 ?. h4 K, A# Q0 n' m
( F0 t" w7 J( |1 q2 J- I6 A( u1. You have enough clothes.
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: Q/ }% \& ~8 U. u1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!" ]) K0 a" M2 ]. Z7 J( R
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;5 Y( A6 @8 Y, e+ ?0 @, l. Q
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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: n, n9 s; M! g EPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.( s& ` Y2 r2 c: U* z# Q
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
