 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!# l6 N0 I. d; d
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写# D$ Y3 L, T4 V7 K
- H( l8 R" y: y0 F
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
5 S& I% ~7 E0 K* V% t1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
' ]% o! C& m7 H# \+ d- T+ y% ]' g& `: o; x( T
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
/ [) \/ l) M' b @9 [4 b% Vdown.
) M8 A) G7 Y" UWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ) N8 u1 j: V9 d2 X% c9 }/ p
you, C: v& l8 S, l7 E) b4 h) X
leaving it down." c; t- _) z- P3 v$ g
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?3 N4 `& j- {( {( R2 @
- U6 ^5 o) j& D( M; O7 E _
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides., d2 H7 z2 c) M7 S
Let it be.$ {( Y A4 t6 a! o) [) @
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
: G# o8 F! P$ B1 }) y& G
4 y- e8 w# v/ `( ]+ Q7 j4 `9 c) C1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
5 c$ G# U2 I- i4 J6 Zthat way.
' t( a- J; h7 v: F1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
; H( j5 s' m. x' b7 Y: j; v+ F1 [4 \
1. Crying is blackmail.
$ Z% q8 }8 t3 @$ X' Z# \1 r1,哭泣是敲诈
9 \( P2 Y- M) u0 V& n4 S: ]' S2 A: F. g8 d h- m% K9 E" i
1. Ask for what you want.
, f; u7 v) u+ N9 _. \9 i9 V$ qLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
/ M- s0 Q0 H% D4 Z4 s7 vStrong hints do not work!2 y3 S) S' c' o( j$ P! \
Obvious hints do not work!
* Z" k0 h" F& Z5 ^7 E* Y! ?$ zJust say it!
4 \/ I" ]" v- @9 \& F* f1,你想要什么就说 |. r( p) }3 b+ _
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
/ b1 h* V" i5 h- i( }& O1 F% b
; M3 u6 T0 G9 V' q. C1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
9 Q$ o" {( q9 \; v5 j5 equestion.0 \" _* Q7 B1 g) ^0 G9 Z' ?% l
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意). r6 M( M3 C7 F
0 M# |, P) x; P) Q$ U2 P1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's/ e) h6 W+ z0 E0 z
what we do.& O: G* O' P2 I
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for." V5 {" `" q. L) j, l
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。+ P( l: H& \/ c: W9 s* L0 l4 k
3 a$ m, y0 P& K. A2 _
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.2 T1 b' Z j& T5 i* J- N/ v* r% L" h
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
' ^; n( B: _9 K( U) W# c$ Y
) q! P8 ~8 P3 q# V2 \6 i1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
) F" g+ B4 Z, @) ]! _) R$ VIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
- ]% F1 t+ k( l" h+ \- j- J0 |" ?我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
" m/ v" c4 @# Q4 } x0 W$ H z1 X8 p2 a( L9 l+ O7 b- ^4 m
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us S. `' L# v* l4 t( N) B
to act like soap opera guys.
( c3 y2 a# B5 V0 I" f0 U1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们0 c* m% `/ ?5 ?& u8 Y9 B
# l7 Q) m, v! P1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.) F" R% M- [* E! u+ [
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
- ?: H" b0 W, f, ]8 ^. b
1 e; F! j9 a8 N' E0 W* m4 Z/ J/ E0 L) }1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways! y% C0 [/ y# Q( {
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.: c" v8 K9 X6 q
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。5 e. G$ w3 a. n' i1 A( `
" S0 J, s A1 a2 x" f1 a4 O& o
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)4 S1 p8 R: b4 C9 |0 S2 m
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
5 t8 U' G8 B* F( K! Z, [done. Not both.
Q" B" g6 @8 _9 y/ e0 }2 O6 JIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.+ |3 c' O) m, g7 j
2 W7 Q& R' c% A1 X7 x* |) p
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
: B1 ^1 ^3 n B: n/ a3 J& pcommercials.# |7 P& y& c5 {6 D5 a- w) U
9 |$ ]: K& g3 m5 K1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.- v" Y: E3 A4 P* W
7 M2 a3 H2 m2 z1 D- ^& P1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
$ m& d: _0 S% d' G2 T: R% l+ I1 nPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
9 `3 j s! H% x- z% c6 CWe have no idea what mauve is.
$ d# |2 F# C' A2 ?# y
" I; G- |6 v5 B; h8 p1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
# r$ o# d. n+ C9 ~ L
. l9 h' R5 q' z, N! b( h1 p) K1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
" |2 m; n2 Q6 N6 cnothing's wrong.0 b( ~8 K$ X& a# y& ` r2 ?
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
$ O$ o1 t0 M9 j1 O$ z; i9 y( N! ^9 H2 z* ~# @
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer4 W* P l" U- ~! r& ^$ Q
you don't want to hear.7 T0 g6 s% y! ~
& m$ J5 l( k/ L! p1 W1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
_# ~9 f4 f* E& g2 A$ ~! b% [( b, mfine...Really.
% j9 |& A: J1 S3 \) h8 b) a8 \4 ]% c( Q. A
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
, `- t5 ^7 `# ]+ }* S# `discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
6 ]0 T- E% A% B2 ]! v9 ?3 I
. F" q- w7 m5 S4 t! ~% k; f1 s1. You have enough clothes.
6 F7 v( R; g$ K# J" e" L+ }; h8 o1 j. z
1. You have too many shoes.
3 z& [) S- K7 ]3 {0 A/ s. N h9 v5 H# K' v5 Y3 Z! V
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
! M: W! {& U G( J6 F, V3 }5 T0 I0 \8 D, H; X, {+ K
1. Thank you for reading this.8 Z: o# h3 o# _" z$ r" z
/ h) \5 b0 D1 ]# c" uYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 R& w0 Z$ S9 D5 bBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
6 t/ ~2 e6 T: ^+ i' u( i# l |& d, u& Z$ O. F& z
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
/ h0 \* K& [. e" ?; x$ o, HPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|