 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
/ t7 k+ D w0 l7 n; a( W请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写( Z! Z( {0 @4 u- j, p% I. k
8 @' `) L9 P9 Y' ?1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.! B7 z9 t- R: J
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it* ]% I8 c# y1 l0 B B. V* G$ U
down.
I6 Q9 E4 }0 i' u6 x" r% mWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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I5 e R; s0 `+ s$ P! tleaving it down.# s6 Y2 ^$ G {* }# G9 i/ {; {
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?5 C0 G! ?4 W3 {2 z/ q
5 `3 v& W9 ?, f4 }1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
3 x" _) l; B' w: c4 mLet it be.
8 s; B- P+ d4 }# z" \1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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! u) [! L; h! J6 p. q* t- C1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
$ k) q; A5 t! Tthat way.' Z. J& q- M6 | P
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
8 j$ ~& V8 c( m# s- A1,哭泣是敲诈& d* t. v) t H+ ?- f6 P
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1. Ask for what you want.; N) U$ y p- J% D
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!; `( ?5 y* R( n9 Z# n
Strong hints do not work!; A7 N. W1 h( I$ q+ r5 R
Obvious hints do not work!4 P' j- B: u; F* [, O* W
Just say it!1 f; M8 K" f( g
1,你想要什么就说1 o) W; s7 j. u1 N2 \' g
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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v% A& y) I7 N$ |9 I, \1 _0 R1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)) q3 ~9 l' X! w0 V s, |
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's0 r$ p. G$ N. `; i' x* z, K
what we do.; _( o. e; h3 Y h" J" V
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.4 ]" r ~( v g' q8 t, |
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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& @6 X2 Z. M/ j) k, {: m1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
' X! `5 \- ~- R; ?1 t) d9 q1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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% T! l: i* H' J( m" _1 w( ^1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.; E& R, M) D, y" J- Z" {( D" T
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.; |' u0 T0 I( c
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了. {. [" E- v% p' n, H6 j8 C) X% [
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 s, ^$ c V' U1 k
to act like soap opera guys.9 q0 f6 M9 |( s3 y( Q9 O+ W6 R
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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+ k2 y$ k7 n: `/ g d: l1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.8 e3 Q( E* P* L5 L8 L
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们7 {' k2 h" l1 N1 A; G, N! B2 Q
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
" F0 n& z5 [# y4 k1 q' N5 ?4 f- Jmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.4 u+ ]# k4 ]' t" T
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
8 A& r8 \3 X, U' ^; J0 w1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
0 F0 r9 j7 f* w: K* L5 T& Y+ xdone. Not both.& N6 |' i' B p B8 j L
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.8 w$ U7 w: q, B# d$ g& |' o
: O% `/ Z4 {4 x J4 y8 r3 E+ l7 B1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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! U( Z0 w8 {7 v) n1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 F6 {1 D& Q) b! f C5 O7 Q
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
" P9 G4 C% l% M( O+ {: r( `, HWe have no idea what mauve is.* y% G8 A0 x8 U1 O8 }: z# c
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like3 E* D1 A% g. | F& Z
nothing's wrong.: L7 ~ z& `/ N
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
+ Z" W' h& V8 V) |) Pyou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
; X z. V" p+ W2 y8 ?2 q5 [fine...Really.$ |, N/ c8 c& C- X9 `7 x
`$ K. b$ C$ m( k. T& i! R0 o1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to/ U m* X9 ]: C' f3 W7 p
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.5 ^! K0 S0 A' t& R* w
' z. u& [" a4 m5 @5 ` K! ^1. You have enough clothes.) w ^& A* y4 g( l4 F
) f N H. [! z2 R1 p" y1. You have too many shoes.) d/ s& @3 A6 M6 q5 z, F, O2 N
1 w* S! n$ S5 a2 [# N7 i1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!9 C3 O8 K' a1 q/ B. A' I8 l# X
0 {* X- g8 o, e. R8 H* j% U1. Thank you for reading this.
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* u2 l* c# S/ `& qYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
9 {/ @# J) }8 W% ^0 | sBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping., q J* Z3 H; W( G9 C" O0 e
1 M- s9 Y/ q* Y; l! m. LPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
) t: Z4 Y' d" Q" u7 KPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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