 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
! t4 a! O+ W# y; h请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写, r0 | u6 c5 S6 v# k' ]
) e% Y* I& G. a8 n# P, k
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.2 [ ]; \+ s( k3 V- C5 t0 U
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
. H7 N6 \- m. m2 [
) f$ M- _% B. k/ o7 ?5 W1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
; `* @3 k4 D8 Z& D5 h( udown., n+ ?/ e3 i: x* N
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
& }, x% X9 E( q+ ^7 Vyou
% K: C5 K5 h2 d" Cleaving it down.
+ W( A) b0 P: ~' E& ]- k1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？ C5 H! v3 w' v4 L+ D9 Q5 ~& b |
5 U, f% E: s/ n. l. S% Z. H1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
9 q# C3 ^, }$ A9 ?6 JLet it be.1 a: n" Q0 }! D9 d" d" S$ T2 X
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
1 M& j4 E8 x7 r5 a0 x5 _; f8 `" e7 e+ s
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
$ V0 ]$ h8 x* w+ R' gthat way.
7 d" j0 Q8 ~8 ]1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！7 ]4 _( Y! `8 z5 ]+ z- Y
8 r; k& l& K! o) N1. Crying is blackmail.) ^6 M# f5 L6 s+ i, x
1，哭泣是敲诈) Z- l. s$ S9 d9 d$ p% ~
, `1 X/ \7 o! x' j$ O, [# Y1. Ask for what you want.
3 r; @0 x2 h9 u! O. pLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!8 V6 h0 {" F! k. S
Strong hints do not work!' q* b& n5 |3 L% c& |
Obvious hints do not work!3 b4 ^7 R" a) t" U5 F% h, {2 J
Just say it!
' l" i" |) B/ G! h F: V E1，你想要什么就说
6 i1 ?; y( C; V6 W w5 ^$ f我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
! m: x5 O3 O9 l; Y/ u2 ^- X0 ]8 a F4 ]8 U: d( ]' E& M* S
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every & _1 N( Q1 I0 B6 I3 V; l! Z
question.) ^) Y4 W" D& F0 _/ ~. Z9 C% Y: C
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
6 M% a; A% x6 a0 P% ^6 C
, E! y9 p* V Q$ H. }0 N1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
0 t0 d4 h9 T$ R: d. J8 R7 `what we do.
2 l* _ s: A' ^0 _0 S/ }- v" XSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.+ }+ ^- F- R' K
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
% d2 o3 ^9 T4 q1 f3 t6 G6 }4 J& H
, N, z1 x* U1 @3 m) b2 Z4 _1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1 `( i( Y% X" |% [ ]3 u
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去* l0 _% i: T2 C3 n) a4 B
/ E- h: R$ h7 j$ I* M" K
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
9 }4 E3 B9 r( \In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.1 [% y4 \6 A" I5 {5 B
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
2 ^/ H j- l* W; u, u% J% j! c# \, S
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us7 V1 _# m; ]! X3 Z2 Q! i9 ]6 K
to act like soap opera guys.3 | j! E0 ~1 f2 a) B
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
: Q4 {( N) R' P% Q6 C# X; u
i+ ] l! k4 Q8 I) X4 T' z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.* g+ s; o0 |% r
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们! T6 U2 ?& h z+ X; S' L. w
3 R) E! c+ o% w9 h* v/ |
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
8 |" i. N) Z; S6 c! C) g: umakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
: Y1 x' V `9 v( ~# c1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。- l6 i f/ ?) p0 k8 \& ?
' @0 l2 B9 c4 N) ^/ ?* i
（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
% i; Y% z; u# \% }% _) \1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
4 M% ~3 E3 o. ]# s; Jdone. Not both.
; z6 x# d$ b2 v. kIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
. Q5 o& j8 X6 u# H& x* t/ q: B. }" m0 G; n3 d* \% m, o
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during* i# F- T3 I, U2 Y' [ Q5 B- S
commercials.
4 W0 u4 n- }2 d% i
& x8 @3 b* F# M4 L1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. |5 c4 c* x% y, {* b; o, C: I
N8 `1 P. G# ?% ^+ W! h Q1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
) g2 {! _1 D" _/ LPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
" _6 C! ?- H+ E" G# aWe have no idea what mauve is.- ~) }$ q- u% x' S7 y
/ C5 M0 d5 R+ l2 E( S! i$ V1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that./ @% d6 a. G! G
& R1 T( X, u* x2 l( [7 B. l" A
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
' W& v7 V3 C" Unothing's wrong., N) S+ g; l5 B
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
8 ]$ T$ `9 t, [1 d0 H" P$ Q/ B' I% S! u4 x2 X1 m+ I( x* c, ?
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
) d* a. }3 D) G$ ]+ F ~you don't want to hear.+ ~( M* K+ _8 ]% F* g
. r; I( \2 |1 x! F$ x1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is" G; w. L& a# B/ C$ M! ^, ?( w
fine...Really. n& e* H( b# d7 K- o" }
7 Y5 y8 l3 i: N9 s" X& g( b1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to0 }) K( H$ s1 ], g% ]! m
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
# C$ |. P% V1 t% a: M2 X4 R1 `5 c1 n' h1 a, e& ]& f; q0 u2 B/ V
1. You have enough clothes.
7 ]9 S& R+ K7 h$ h) @4 l6 H7 G2 t
; g! m7 Q$ n, r$ k8 r1. You have too many shoes.8 @. U+ A& x7 q. u
6 L% I: I! S$ s& o; F1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!" O0 O! R% I- h7 |
1 d8 Y0 c1 t: J, L0 U
1. Thank you for reading this.
! r6 l9 m. [) \$ n g" n
; k6 L. |0 ~& [8 f. O3 vYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
8 _% ^ E, D. M- V. J' KBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping." X" ^& r0 F2 f9 W8 z
* c9 {8 `, G$ b7 l; J
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.. {0 w* s: l# e. v. {
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
0 @5 w+ Z! N, x