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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
+ u  e0 H( b( j4 ]( ^; B请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写9 p" U2 ]5 h3 \5 l. W7 e1 A' P
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.* w2 o; p9 @9 k
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫! J) v  o3 a, i7 z8 F: {

: ]  s. S5 r2 }* I1 A" T) k1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it$ z+ `/ F, s2 O
down.
/ X5 O7 b5 R: L( m' WWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
4 b# T$ Z# g  o4 [you
; F5 B9 M' w3 L" Y& o8 q4 [0 N. Lleaving it down.
8 U! t$ r8 m" A1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?7 b5 J6 m( F6 L) g7 A

" n" l# N( a4 @2 j, h" O* R7 z1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.3 M" W. P9 X% U, F' J3 r
Let it be.6 f" m4 f  J1 I1 d5 t" j4 d
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去; q/ ~# k  }8 w' X2 E

& m- h( J# X. j% o1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
, Q  Z3 ^8 W+ o( s$ p- B& y" _  Bthat way.6 T) r3 x: V, M" V: h+ I) M" M
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!5 E! g3 m9 U: i. }  s; d* N% B
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1. Crying is blackmail.
+ [5 Y( m2 ^4 I* f+ c1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
2 v: y" k! I# S, A. {5 U# HLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
% B. p) k$ M' G3 |/ c3 m0 M$ `0 JStrong hints do not work!7 T% L4 n: e9 L& }, l) p
Obvious hints do not work!
9 [( {2 \4 y. w+ hJust say it!* D, O: c1 o0 _( [) M2 u
1,你想要什么就说
  e' @1 {$ y! |6 \, H; V, d# D! E" x我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!% ~) J9 v; d7 B" V. h0 i: y

6 a, J) B0 B3 N" |7 `7 c) Z( \1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
( f3 ~! `1 g5 }4 k' ]question.* n3 J( I: A1 W, \3 F6 X
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's6 m3 t3 D: [& s$ T$ _, w/ ]
what we do.
  z/ a+ Z8 \' J; F  U* FSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.. T$ b1 W/ J7 y  v/ b4 W
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。) f1 T; v, r& b" ?# T/ p6 {7 P

9 }2 h2 ~7 L: K1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.  n2 I  C8 ?& w" t9 n0 u' X
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去/ |4 b9 g5 y# r, k1 M6 F
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.: ~' ?7 ?6 J, ^. t: m, k
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.& Y+ t/ N$ R8 |% X  n. i9 y: c; C
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了9 H0 G" Q+ z+ S- ~% t% {
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us, D' H2 I; g) J1 a  n1 W4 Q  {
to act like soap opera guys.9 j5 S. Y  ?8 h( H
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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2 Q# Z+ ^" z& @4 v3 B1 q1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.* O4 k& t9 R4 z  I2 ]% M, ?
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们% V3 J7 u( ~5 ?4 e

& K+ d4 }3 n8 \$ A1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
8 l1 o& q7 \3 v2 |) Qmakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.4 ^2 S7 Z6 A# D! E7 l1 m  o- n
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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1 T8 k% n* }; b9 g(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
: V% C) v9 ?) x1 w4 K1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
  L/ `3 K  s9 e! R) O) w- Z1 a2 w' Cdone. Not both.: S9 s0 R" L5 |' |  s
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.# E6 G" R/ ^+ t9 E4 I6 }* r/ J
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during" u: X4 ~0 \  M8 Z4 f
commercials.- {/ I1 a; x- \$ y" y8 ~* _
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.* }; B- J% B2 J& r1 _
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 @! f' M! X" s; ^# g2 x2 f( S
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.! n$ _4 h7 k( I: [' E! s
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
, ~1 y' O9 ~' e6 W$ Fnothing's wrong.5 @9 f$ e/ t$ O5 X
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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% N: R8 I% e; o/ ?4 g" z# q: X1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
; H; d0 k! O' b% ?1 Syou don't want to hear.' Q: W! \9 N/ Q% M% p* }# w
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
% f  B* y3 P( P5 j4 d5 T8 l; Mfine...Really.3 C# w3 L/ Y3 l

  i$ z* |& i! B  I* e' `1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
# n3 @4 n* H) ^discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.% r8 i7 t* T) }7 h& C" ]3 t" u

- ^1 O! k3 u& |; V1. You have enough clothes.9 @" k% i0 B$ W6 P* w. z/ ^" ^
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1. You have too many shoes.
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- l9 w3 g8 I( B, {" d# D' M1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.3 h' A: J1 f& v  z  E% X1 m( o
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
2 {4 @3 h/ J3 M! s  JBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.3 b: y  }1 M8 W5 u& O
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
' H# B% S* T* z" d. n- t$ p5 c4 bPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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) c( t+ X9 I5 ~% p$ `& m( x1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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2 I( p4 x( ^  l: r1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.7 ]+ C) E# ~- I- |3 W
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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& @5 a/ c: S. e/ }1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.) H' f$ ~4 C. z5 [! T& W  |
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
$ ^# l- o9 a, B9 N2 B如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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; p/ B9 u& X2 ?1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.) P( B, ]' F# E9 l, w9 c% Q
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.# _3 L3 {. b+ W& [" y/ N
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
8 a6 C/ I( H: ^6 s2 B' V: W. d* EALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
& G; H; u3 e# \% T2 q' A所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。# o' t( C4 \) K, E
: r4 ?% z! o! Z
这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置5 l6 v8 z8 V" @: A3 I, a

+ `1 u+ G9 N5 q. p1 I  [+ g* O还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
: k" b; D4 B" k) K6 W) U如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
  N8 o! z# d! w9 q& k8 F2 S; Z不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。5 N& z) [# p1 F% u- p6 |

& d6 g0 w7 K% b& i6 {1. You have enough clothes.& A9 s; \: g; @6 U* C1 z/ q4 T  u
你的衣服足够多了& L* b- e( ^5 ^9 P

& [6 k" ~4 X5 I. Q* x1. You have too many shoes.
! f6 c- F+ \8 Y你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!. ]7 W: G* @' z9 s+ d$ C+ S
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?  y, [; G/ v  O) g: ~' `$ l4 Q

: t2 u- S0 h  H: z) e' I: I1. Thank you for reading this.- b6 Q: h2 ]  E  T8 A' c3 M  B
多谢你能看完这个: ?  ]+ |3 v* s1 Q) |) m8 t; N9 d
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.' J) h3 {) s1 T& W* j* }
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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$ _! j( }8 N. h* q8 w4 b还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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% X- O' s5 N1 n: s玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
* S. m, [* c* K1. You have enough clothes.' T1 e# p! b5 W' k  w: i
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
' v5 x% \; ]& @  }2 q你的鞋子也太多了吧

/ V$ m! @: x" \& q这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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0 e* C5 H; L; k+ n! S+ R$ f----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want., B4 x9 a; ]% m8 ~  P- C& L
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
  P) Y: L  W, Z8 k4 ^Strong hints do not work!' ^" d8 ]: m) T/ O
Obvious hints do not work!
1 j6 k: u1 U" [1 ZJust say it!
/ ]0 i& |/ y3 r- f( u( i0 h1,你想要什么就说
; t! z# S! |1 _我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!5 Q! t% s5 `' m

4 Q3 |5 l& o) ^$ i8 f+ \8 D& o关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
5 r5 F6 q! r- C1 _1. Ask for what you want.# e$ g6 p- L2 j1 T. ?- O, i
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!/ W6 h! n, g, V$ I( m( a3 N( q7 D
Strong hints do not work!
, U  {6 Y" }- I6 R7 O5 M, y! ]Obvious hints do not work!
4 x4 F* X. }! W# d  z9 X5 zJust say it!
/ g3 U- J; i$ [7 s1,你想要什么就说7 e# [- C. ~$ G8 o9 }
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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" ]( f2 E! j" \) [2 F8 q瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
3 @3 x8 x: \/ B3 r被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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( ]( I! v0 Z$ ]# d
咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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* |0 L  Z8 k% n( ]http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:. l1 V* U$ w" Z3 D5 h& o

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿* J. N: X! k% r
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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5 k9 h7 W9 J/ e2 g0 u% _这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!

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体会?
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. \" `( U7 o- p3 ?2 ?2 m回答到那个帖子下面了
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