 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
4 {* l: Y: y! ?+ l4 t' Q请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写2 K% P4 _* E- L; H7 y; L" ?( l1 R- S
" d: e4 c2 x0 I, X" _6 a1. Men ARE NOT mind readers., ^% A& s0 S( E/ X
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫4 R" s) ], `, m% h8 O6 l
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it: H1 ^( ^* R! L1 \
down.5 F; q9 Q; \0 C
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about , u0 F* v- l7 q8 Q) @' P% n
you* V7 F/ r! c: b8 `" L9 ~
leaving it down.& R5 v" g5 l1 J. @8 M& ~) p5 F7 d
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？0 V" [9 G; t: e0 b
+ E0 M1 d- M& U8 W7 X' J1 N7 a7 P# H1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
0 b4 Q5 @( |7 M* F s6 RLet it be.
6 R0 b0 h/ j" Z$ r" }1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去- M U/ n5 v. i$ `* T3 C+ M
! Y0 \! b1 w Q) ^1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
6 V) O5 R2 J v, R# M( uthat way.' e, X8 r5 h+ ? N
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.( [5 g* U1 f! M( ^+ d p
1，哭泣是敲诈2 _# q5 ]8 I ~; r
7 }; F- ^9 l7 {: x1. Ask for what you want.
- |- }7 V) L1 g4 c! JLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!& h% ^6 n; t& O
Strong hints do not work!+ k- M! ~" I+ B; a$ {/ E4 Y
Obvious hints do not work!
1 ]1 f9 O! I$ ^8 B! nJust say it!5 ~0 x0 x- I# E6 L$ j ^
1，你想要什么就说8 Y& G' F. N9 Z+ a# t" S0 r2 P
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！6 _- Y; r7 h9 ]" _4 o
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1 A9 D k* @3 N& Z, z4 A1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
% d8 Y3 Y% z) c+ a" m; P( Y0 Awhat we do.
& |5 {) N8 Y8 Z, Q2 tSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.' u# P. N; t1 B8 w9 W: d
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.* S% S- p! F# L# u/ U% N* |7 [7 F
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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8 m3 C# G$ P$ B r7 l" z1 Q1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
; ]1 N% }2 x/ x8 bIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days./ w" a5 Q7 T. v+ T( N3 z3 E
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了: V# h9 {: p+ a; Z' E$ N7 t
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
7 o8 O7 n# U! a1 L' I8 Yto act like soap opera guys.$ J, r; K) C/ Q3 M% e e
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们, `8 m, u/ ?0 P8 N) t$ H
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
& k5 a$ m' B8 d* D. p' V' n6 s1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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$ t6 V9 e' I3 E1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways$ U g/ F# i! ^+ c! }7 Z
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.3 T9 @& X0 w6 v2 A) L
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
2 ~- j; F! w. \ d' @+ m1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
5 ]. w4 O# { ^5 f( Ydone. Not both.1 {6 r4 ]7 Q& P& I; u
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during+ ~) g5 L8 N; V2 r5 O( R# N: N) H6 f, V" q
commercials., _4 ^: ?( I9 C/ F; c
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.; q+ s8 J+ L2 k1 u- ?, m
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
, u% N% T0 p8 q# Q/ G2 ?Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
: \# b5 W8 J& Q0 Q% _We have no idea what mauve is.
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7 @- B5 z6 G6 [8 _* g. q, Y1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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) {! ~" R! d7 R& x2 N1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, p- {. O% v% }4 a1 m8 ^% Q
nothing's wrong.- G2 i' B/ s- l, T! U
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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4 x6 B! c) Z. F% N* t7 r* ]+ e1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer4 s. @( i3 a6 G7 d4 T& L
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is; M/ G$ b0 x; o. y
fine...Really.
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; d# r9 ]6 L7 c$ v4 U1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to m- u1 E+ X( }! i/ X
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.3 O$ s+ Q% ^: N- p& W' k* R8 o
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1. You have enough clothes.4 D: k2 I# C' u) S+ n; {
' @0 F1 [0 _3 H6 [' V1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!' o A$ {" W& [7 H5 E
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1. Thank you for reading this.$ H5 ^: c2 N- F: M! d7 N6 M
2 w" w' K& ?% l* z; x. w; gYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
' @8 \8 d ^8 @, Z. HBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.. U* K4 a2 |! G f: z% j; ?
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
1 x! G. ^2 ]0 o' [% rPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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