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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:& p/ R X: X( r/ M' X" T
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.' h5 M* x, [& V5 w) \( A5 }& v
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
) v" D6 U) l' N; R0 `hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
( n5 \7 C. V- f1 \: O* |- Amorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
' l, Q ~( {. m2 ^3 K N, ^you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
& S; a3 ?7 y7 _: o6 Llanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. e8 N. z' L/ _( X9 ]own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest1 v' c' j6 x' a1 z: v
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires6 C. C V' G, a. Y% m( K
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell7 |7 k5 c2 |8 H8 W
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 x8 P. c \4 o! K% K' S
3 s4 j* N o/ M5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 Q9 ?# j$ Q% V) v& ^/ ?1 Y& `9 bcussed out, and possibly shot.7 _. H4 ]; |" C! t. \4 f* L
) {( y4 F; p- Z# e, N1 j9 G6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can/ @3 B' J6 ~' c7 w4 } e
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that2 D+ G' p6 j. [4 I$ Y" x
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at0 \7 Z3 J C9 ~8 D4 I' I
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot$ c( o1 ^$ I! i8 s0 M \" {
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
i6 ~, x5 I; u/ S5 S0 }vehicle through the intersection.
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5 z( Z" B [8 t3 w2 X% F8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour* C0 W, A+ E6 |8 G y! g6 F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! B1 z9 ]4 I S* L1 h) hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, \: A) X& |3 X' ymore construction starts everyday.- A* J& r9 d) x
7 G2 a$ M6 d) `9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
4 @/ y0 Y/ g7 d, B' o) C, m: d8 {3 pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 N: w# U) Z$ O7 P6 {/ @
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) J- l) M8 P, o; _
6 ^ T% H9 s% @& p8 |+ T- O10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
7 c I: i/ L+ I: N+ K3 Oroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye- h6 Z3 y7 h& P3 Y$ V7 z3 B& V
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and7 h3 U$ K: J9 `2 ^! n e1 g$ g
66 Street are also the same road; got it?% Q9 M! \7 ?7 s b
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
8 ~( Y1 f' o0 t; pshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally8 b8 Q- ^/ C7 L2 ]7 X6 U8 Z
Activated.'
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& s; {; |5 s. P) n$ ~! {, r12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,5 f$ F) F+ f, P+ \. {- j
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
2 e0 M: r1 I K2 \, caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 Y' r* v# r& M& ]( t/ n2 g( _5 J
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur g- q4 Y# {7 h5 ]7 j( V% ^2 R
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 @3 ^7 w3 m6 J. G0 v tblankets in the vehicle. |
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