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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house3 a9 i) m `+ C; n4 ?& r
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
$ _$ d6 ]/ W7 \ J5 g. \She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,0 Y( T) A3 f7 Y! Q; b' z4 k6 y2 E
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
' b, x/ L- S" a6 p2 SHe’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
5 Q- J3 P" n0 G9 |7 j1 H' vWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.7 |1 H1 W+ `* w! u2 w4 t) O! ]! `
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
d) x- i7 _$ h6 |8 {, qWith Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.: a g1 o& y! Y+ h- ]7 R% P! R
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues, O7 }/ }0 r9 y7 v0 y
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
. e6 d, S6 O/ H2 | qWith hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,3 n% L9 D9 O; |: c. C% k; Y
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.8 N# F M, V' J: R; f
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
/ n; f/ b5 y) bTiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
1 ~0 z5 U6 n9 g$ H6 m+ ^2 ZAnd I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,/ h( ]/ g/ J! _, t ~- \% ^2 X
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
3 e4 Y: b, X4 A& k% UShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,, I4 W4 y: p6 k" X& X" i% b( k
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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