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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries:
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . % c w. a/ q V" j" Z( j3 a
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. & |1 L1 _$ N0 J. g& C
8 C+ u- S7 r7 R3 o4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5 g/ H# m& U7 T6 e# |5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent \& q$ }% j1 P( y9 f1 \' H
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6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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# T E+ V/ t8 O7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. g* X2 _% R) W2 h
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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" j& L" [) c3 A9 e- @& Q! q10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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( p6 A1 P. s5 ^" w" ?11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 0 f$ O7 o5 C) e7 p4 E
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. ! m9 x6 b2 @) D o; K# P
$ j1 z _/ R5 F6 S2 s- I% N5 B14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. $ r- n/ O0 ~6 g Z2 g# Z
5 P8 t; N6 }, H15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. ! l1 C/ n% b. U' d5 f$ S6 _
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16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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