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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. y4 v; @) a% v) l7 Sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was: W5 `4 ^6 J, a2 r) P8 K
the other possibility.% @+ ] m& C" A' m5 J; n% w& ~
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
j1 m9 Z) f$ H1 O7 Wspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- I3 t- z0 g2 I
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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6 S7 p. G+ m( p% w, ZIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 H0 ]1 h. P4 A* u
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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8 r4 Q. b6 E% m. v7 z: u5 nThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 o7 t1 h$ y; k% h4 Z6 Dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 [! r* ^$ W6 Z# R. Q1 o# }% K
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
* t: Z& {( s& R7 l# I" V7 R, k3 itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 I0 U" i* Y! b+ w b, ifotograf 20% shorter.8 {+ h$ x/ ?; p
0 c3 D: |+ o. h$ ?, PIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 ~5 |: Y0 H, c- ]% U4 @' n, areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! Q6 K1 H0 N$ o+ n
7 N; [- @4 m* X$ U |" TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: p6 b0 N! M/ k v5 A
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" x* S1 F/ [! n$ UAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 @* {( i/ b! t
disgrasful and it should go away.& G3 k. x) Q3 @. u b# \2 g
1 G8 S' i0 F& `1 DBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& }, M) \' ]6 q# T"z" and "w" with "v".
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+ b$ J6 o4 e s% b" PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 X3 w5 g3 l- |% C
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.# ?: M5 u! p8 }* r
# c& y5 h: g6 E2 r, kZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
! b0 J, q4 I( Z b% c( {* f# vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; u, y7 V5 G$ [; x9 |6 R: dUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze) G+ F" ^: Z1 u1 J" n2 Z' Y
forst plas.
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$ G# a3 W# w/ I8 P" |( D9 QIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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