 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
# m1 H; i& s& ^% }' p& C" L0 m/ i3 D4 N
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
* n* V/ P" P% {2 F( y/ ]3 {9 C
' @' J" W% Z: `, C \( cI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. i1 r7 k, d- D/ \: y9 ]4 O; o2 h
3 q8 p" Z% U! W( v. h3 |
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:' ~ E9 o6 f& x2 \
: c- _7 x" V& G t
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
( e2 ~- B' q6 n) s+ k& I) x8 [$ D% ]! K; z3 Q3 O9 K
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
/ p4 f1 w/ ?. p; B l
) O) V& \: P6 A R; H3 zAnd the second one was:2 G3 `( |( H _) Z. e, I# f7 I
1 f6 M2 q9 w3 f2 v
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"' G5 c: q9 i0 A6 j
% D) S% x6 i* Y2 z' o: Y
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 O1 ]7 h+ C+ G4 M( t- P6 y
* e- H0 F; R8 u- y& {"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- M/ x" R I( G3 G* \% v
j2 W, ]1 P- z" C! d# r# Q& n
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
: o3 U( f/ l4 Z, V C
: \. G" P7 J' L4 fI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; o9 a; L2 w, \, o. R# E
. `2 s0 \$ j3 @1 C" u4 GI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."0 l# ]5 O+ Z- g& Y$ x. b; K. |
- v' K+ E0 O' S+ G, O/ a2 K2 ^* s, M) l ^
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
5 ^) X) E$ o* `2 ~% p: z0 V
v% J, v- p& S9 k/ SNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”6 `# ?2 ~5 Z. n, Z' I; V1 `
- P7 D# Q) G' _3 _4 e! P$ OThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.: q( f/ | z$ p. y; B
( V# ?) F% \5 i; BThank you very much!; D$ a8 F _7 Z- b8 n/ Q! j& y
" Y \# K6 O, h==========================% i/ V! W E5 y) ]& q0 M2 `+ }
' c/ z# R% l Y5 w/ t+ `3 K4 oImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
) u7 M3 i" r) M+ Y2 G, z+ r8 t4 k8 j# P6 b) n H$ H
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
% }% B0 P; h/ C X2 X% f, W& T" G: F5 ~# @6 S! O! Z1 {% A) {
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
6 |% `; Z3 q* w! b; o. g
/ J7 Q( f, Z% I/ d7 N8 o9 e+ f+ h"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion., _6 Y# k0 H8 ^. S6 i% w
. v% i' X' W" U1 [8 j% x! J/ L
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".$ _% P% R0 J' i' Q9 `3 V
& F8 [: ?5 R9 j$ Q$ s
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ c& K/ b0 G6 ?1 t d6 ]) S( ^% e% z( E
/ G; k- Q( {. Q7 DThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
