 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe. l) F3 w; d, e* q' a
- W* `6 N5 a0 A3 N' r2 L9 j
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.& E/ t3 c3 i. d: l2 L6 i
1 J0 V" X) V5 n2 Z% \
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
# S) F$ P3 s6 I/ i# z5 V
- |6 \5 }# K3 {/ y P. b, ?I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
0 V' h6 V7 G: ~- S8 p4 h% v7 h: u7 C' H6 [: E1 ^ r4 q
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
4 }/ D) f7 P" t) x
1 H" l: a) f6 x) R& c, LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
8 l' V! Y8 W9 }+ @7 E2 E* W7 b/ q+ D& v4 K( z3 \0 q$ x5 b0 }* B
And the second one was:6 n( E) [5 N+ |( [2 l1 l) ?
# a+ o% T8 }( j, M
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
: c; X. t' k' E) D3 @# _1 ^
, [; U* y ]8 U) iI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
0 e8 ?. @6 n5 f3 |# {+ G9 T6 U9 d
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
) C, O) e* x0 u2 M i3 j5 X: V! }' n5 L5 R2 L6 B. p
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?4 ^, M# y1 A) l4 L0 r" G6 E
& i' ?( Y7 S! k1 E3 qI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!3 O6 P" Y5 }7 p" l* R) _( ~0 @ M
# l% b( `! o" V
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
) g6 p: y/ w4 R) A- I: ~
8 J; a0 I: e# `* C$ q3 M& ]So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") [3 p0 y! v( U
# [- ?! a ~8 v2 e( KNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
0 O* h2 W' e9 g+ c7 o5 `8 `- o# Q3 |! x/ c$ L2 H
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
9 R) A: z" u }# X2 p' R- M& }9 u) E/ [5 N* [8 N( c9 t' ]) f! b
Thank you very much!4 y( P( K" Z. a' e w" ~% j
5 q, e3 a# ` j# X+ [- h==========================2 z: V# B, n5 I9 N
7 [& x' b- {& ?9 e) w$ Z2 i2 J
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
7 K' C, {% V% @ u. W7 N& F4 ^/ Q$ |1 g) x6 E
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 P- b4 J) L' t/ `7 u1 _
4 |/ I1 \& D: w+ Y5 I
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
& l2 J, Z' Q" E: U7 W
. Q) z0 g5 S/ c) x* |0 A"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.% s! P2 w- h, F% X
6 ~& w' D. a! A1 g! N8 AJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".7 \3 X- ]# C; X$ I* {- o& }
5 e0 e1 V( T/ C4 H i- Y$ |Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.! \( H" Z% e, K7 I% w% g$ K; H- h& R
* Z+ P- Z$ L# W8 f1 K( s" C' `
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|