 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.9 s" b5 t1 }7 h- D1 h
; p# j M' ?0 HI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you., t( o+ ~6 K7 p# \
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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, ?9 c. X( z( l" JI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! }/ r2 o" `% S, f3 f5 B
, Q1 k1 G, J" _7 H0 B2 v( q/ u"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"* V! U+ p: K) ]8 z5 m
# s$ h! J; B9 BI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?, O$ }! ?5 ?- v1 L$ W1 n8 I
3 E3 Y( k! v dAnd the second one was:9 C: A2 g' e7 B5 `& x! L" U: o
& n/ Z/ V: ~+ y x4 W4 Z"What's the 2nd Amendment?"8 r4 r: o. q& p- e- r5 {3 L
6 W+ w/ {4 I3 A3 s XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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/ F: Q0 B+ N/ Z2 p1 G' t1 u2 gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?0 k, U. t3 X2 U" B- o I4 J
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! m$ {3 M* ?7 x0 ^
0 d% Q* _+ |5 M" mI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."5 ^; J/ ], l4 o6 X+ y( g
- A' y0 O# [7 XSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"/ I( L# u8 W: Z) O d& b
2 W6 i t: a3 g5 p& W7 SNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”6 G+ j- A/ |4 p
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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# c( u+ a- Z+ C( a1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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( C" p* `5 K- M m( @* A% DJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States". @( L7 R( O& [5 |0 P' r `! O
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.$ M6 o8 Q) I e6 z4 U% P$ J
" X' t' z1 C9 ]/ [% n% J, I5 p( VThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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