 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.) t4 M/ h9 j6 c- A4 Q* ^1 i
% m( r! q2 x7 q c. j4 \I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 {( M8 C/ I* i7 X
( k* [5 l1 K8 P
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
; l5 h$ G1 I, _; R9 i+ n8 u( L% E; }9 n$ ~
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
( I& D3 ]. L8 K. z* A- j, Z; E1 q
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
* n u8 `) p$ K' ^$ }% L: X) g; }1 M7 \- m
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
5 l. V) x( A; y2 L- L7 k3 O! v+ a8 R/ w* D5 }& I1 u6 D/ Z. [& K
And the second one was:5 b1 u, w0 N4 ~7 a% z
, L7 A/ B$ B5 O P- {"What's the 2nd Amendment?"! U/ O; n2 c3 z6 @+ ?. g8 Z0 c, `
$ x* ]0 M6 M; t) [5 a
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?6 V$ V2 f5 v2 f
& Y0 q, k* B# @! k3 g4 Y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 x8 a7 e* `; n
+ o y- a% v! \! W
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?* E; L8 J$ {2 W; }! w. Y
3 s' \& o0 Z' e6 _ w1 O8 J3 x
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
' x" M6 N b2 \3 W8 T s6 p9 z4 S) o9 O5 A7 T
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
$ k( Q' o6 |' s4 ?% ?! m
4 L; m5 |# F- Y( n3 a$ @0 FSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! @: `. s/ d# w
$ t: a1 _/ c5 _ }# i6 bNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”; J9 y; ^: u2 z+ |8 p
5 c" ?& c- H, x4 C+ ]This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
% Z& m) ^# o* h5 j6 J7 ~# \$ }8 }* N
Thank you very much!
" O+ K" {9 N; t7 t0 ^; c0 _7 ^+ R% Y& q2 T" \0 E# E
========================== Y; U ]0 U" r( A' H6 T
9 ^& K/ D1 t N2 r Q! q3 fImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" \ h4 ]- x2 H) J1 ^- R
4 Z5 O) S: Q' ^1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
/ ]( g: p( G* v9 Z5 S( s9 X
; Z& N D, r I8 v% l6 n! m* a2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.+ x- ]+ j$ m7 U. G
( l9 b$ W# A) b7 r2 P
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.8 w* Z4 s/ i5 I( N1 Z+ @, |
. @' h8 i3 w) u$ Q: X5 c; E
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( E( K6 o: S$ y% l
! J( q% O4 H) N% S0 h- B6 oRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.& V$ K8 Y$ n4 ]5 q& {
8 X0 a! h7 f0 F
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|