Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 R4 J1 o4 H$ |! hMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" S$ H  a: C4 P% u& G$ `% vJOB DESCRIPTION:
: U2 p% R/ f' A& B% _% O( u# qLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; G2 S" K- p$ }. o% @$ z) hand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 a, \8 f+ n0 a! C- mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! x$ T: e- m3 t# i8 N. L5 ^5 [+ lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" S( j7 N1 j! U" e" d6 V* o9 Dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 N) e  Y4 G+ a7 f4 s, w- gTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. b1 ]  N/ y$ k0 y! _: _0 Y- DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' {) p" m6 ]! D  F/ y  Hin case, this time, the screams from
( n4 Z+ {$ L8 B  N, ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' a% N0 M& I) L. O+ R& h7 ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 c! S* ]0 T; _1 asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: R: |7 t8 G! O. ~% K1 tMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 P( b4 ]$ y" e2 M8 \0 ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ d7 F& a9 ^3 K2 ]an embarrassment the next.
' |. M" n* o# b1 uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. O  w' w' g8 j" p: [Must assume final, complete accountability for
9 o# _1 B) ~8 |the quality of the end product.
6 o2 e% w! Q3 l. b, RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( j  U9 G) y5 P7 X3 M; [0 f# R3 n, v& Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 I0 K7 B( N" z3 }/ Z' g2 M* tNone.
- w  K+ u( Y- {. ]# z5 s6 H6 \7 mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
. j3 v5 ^6 F9 o4 Z0 ~3 P* U' ]without complaining,constantly retraining and
. m. g+ z( l4 S% ^+ B# a6 b/ tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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! C! X* d" I! k' f7 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
8 E7 {+ ~! ?( ~+ l4 P2 \6 ~$ hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) {2 p% D" Q# Y0 g; g% XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 e/ x# _  @5 g( C  u: cGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
/ x% F. v8 B% K. a# m0 \) G5 Rbecome financially independent.
1 D, N2 W; ^/ p( `2 R1 {  aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
' L* T8 N+ u5 e# Y$ k9 h* ?The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ v: H6 U8 c- i  K# E5 qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- b4 P6 Z/ c2 l$ \BENEFITS:
" e- [$ R/ n/ X( L5 ]: L1 h' pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
9 `9 P! w6 Q; v1 z3 e. `2 @this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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: ^( p7 d' y  H( F! S% \: pfor life if you play your cards right.
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3 t% W6 r$ \" C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ i% w# o9 r3 P" F+ F- Hletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 {2 `5 H; J( t; X/ C+ eor forward with love
& b9 s* z# e+ Q4 N* Q. ^to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.