 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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, M/ m- r) R% TMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ) d9 N7 q* N% @$ Q, C8 u
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) {( P- P4 r) i6 k8 CJOB DESCRIPTION:8 {8 h" D# x F
Long term, team players needed for challenging,8 m3 Z3 C V" U9 z% B1 P& g' ?5 x* p
0 W2 o# {5 E8 \% H) k/ lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 D* S9 Z i3 D' R7 ]Candidates must possess excellent communication 6 P3 B9 s$ L$ s: \) j
and organizational skills and be willing to work 9 J0 A" F7 \" X3 c& _
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
x' @7 g- Z( B: [0 J- |* Q" z/ C1 nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 l- h) X8 E( F3 k: |: @( d+ G- RSome overnight travel required, including trips to % `; l% o' v8 p7 d; i/ Q6 f2 h$ K/ g
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 f! {( C( l f) A' o Q2 xendless sports tournaments in far away cities! ' }0 t& U7 a+ Z2 C4 S2 S: Y
Travel expenses not reimbursed. : b( Q% E3 a: z, \' _1 _. w A8 L
Extensive courier duties also required. 5 q1 g: g" p8 {$ I7 r
4 o( f& s: M4 S r* ERESPONSIBILITIES:
" p- a! a9 }) z8 l S* {The rest of your life. % S7 H" x( Q& P x
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 O4 ?* |; k# L! b0 C' O% A5 vuntil someone needs $5. ' a; z" x, Z" D* R9 O( }' q
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 c% l, e4 k1 A" d7 s( @% cAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. _/ l) \! ]4 ^ F! a5 xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: a2 [' t+ Q Q' sin case, this time, the screams from ( {8 L: E5 D! d/ j4 b2 N
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ D2 D3 k2 _2 {" }Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* V m, }8 Z0 j( s% g' t* L0 xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ k! t: Z/ b! ]0 q" Vand stuck zippers. + u8 _2 A: F* ^& C9 g
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 `8 a: f W/ C- u' b) E U5 u: S6 u1 fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) j# Q# S* \+ H) ?1 GMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 i( ]2 _7 N8 O) U) W7 LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 G7 X9 r; {3 I- qan embarrassment the next. " q+ z# V% X' E+ w/ j
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 0 X: h9 [2 X/ m) I- u
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. & R" e5 X7 O, |5 o# E
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( f1 m3 Q7 p+ p, t) g; O# NMust assume final, complete accountability for Z9 M) Y( T* p4 h
the quality of the end product. & S" o4 T3 c7 N* t
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 i. R1 k$ M+ E8 ^. M5 Yjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% F6 A' A- `$ E# h: ]2 HNone. ( S( g' T: U, n/ T2 h7 S) @/ F+ e$ J! X
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ! q# M; o+ v8 Z7 g. V% C" k
without complaining,constantly retraining and
V% l Z! q: t5 U+ tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 k( j$ N. `7 d$ A& T& p! R! `can ultimately surpass you., q( F/ I3 z! E% T/ i
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* G, L6 R. R5 G. V" PNone required, unfortunately.
" F5 F' Y* w- P4 n4 AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : a7 d# h# T6 q( q+ ^* A+ D
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 3 {* Y8 _" ]* ^+ s, k/ j' s: @
Get this! You pay them! 8 M$ V8 F3 m' K# t8 w
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 7 k9 h* z+ L3 Z- H; w B
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& u% T" J7 C3 aof the assumption that college will help them [2 b0 z8 T5 N3 T0 U. t
become financially independent. ' `) P4 N3 {& k
When you die, you give them whatever is left. * T. u" `4 J9 V7 | [3 M
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that % W6 \' D0 z# l3 L- W
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 3 Z+ C: R, E8 a% V; i, y
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BENEFITS: ' @6 d/ ? i% F% d' Z& P' D
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 {: [8 C/ q8 z0 Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* V9 m: u$ s/ g3 l/ i# cno stock options are offered,8 O' P& x; |! [4 _! s9 o
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, + ?/ S- r4 r$ _! h
" c2 T* \2 X* q$ @2 E& [
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( z: k3 Q( m1 nfor life if you play your cards right.: |% D9 Q/ r/ Q; i& J# Q" K5 z
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **5 T1 M9 m ]0 X: H7 x3 j: A
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. } h, D$ z. b# r+ t4 vForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ n; n+ J- u$ h" Z# aletting them know they are appreciated
, m3 W6 J, U; wfor the fabulous job they do...
& |8 _0 h; C: \ B# ^3 N% [ ]8 wor forward with love
/ t+ M' [4 z, M. ?! { L2 Jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.4 J* J& R5 D( `; J7 g, a1 C
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
