Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) K* |1 l: i% [# ^+ C' ]! ~8 CDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 |/ D. ]8 u9 z. K! \# n- bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 a. h5 A* b/ x+ H5 gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 x$ t' O4 x9 o: h8 CSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- i! |, z) M! kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& _- ?3 b+ h* |Extensive courier duties also required.
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; S) _" Y) G7 ERESPONSIBILITIES:
1 \" G% h8 y7 Q, I3 [/ K* d9 CThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- X* d- K4 c! i+ p4 Oin case, this time, the screams from
. e+ |* k( E" s5 W8 k7 `! gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 L! }! N: A! D) `5 w, F, {, E3 c" ]coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  B& h: ?5 v5 ]% {/ u5 [7 }Must assume final, complete accountability for
: [# c* ?; A2 o5 I- bthe quality of the end product.
; }% \) x* C0 H/ x5 RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ j- m! d( N% h6 P+ c, P, `janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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+ l/ `) D1 ?) ~1 M5 C- HPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ ]0 e4 L$ |9 l8 u, qYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* U; H) o3 f/ O4 `2 M3 z2 Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: d7 R$ H0 |6 ?4 a% r* dcan ultimately surpass you.


+ i- Y: R  Q6 G9 d2 _# cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 W( v: A  N( A& d- T' [None required, unfortunately.
- v. w& F4 u0 I- A0 KOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 X9 g+ a8 F: BGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 w0 u. q$ @$ Y/ q% O: w. za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! P; N* k7 l0 @' _of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
% T! M& B0 ?$ }0 EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 m& |1 N. Z9 T- \you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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; R' E8 O9 a$ `/ E: MBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 l! A* t' w( ~( J& Sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  f1 K. c3 y" ^' [& M  zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' p0 j0 E  r4 j5 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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3 }! b0 [; F" K* X( zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
# d! j" I1 o8 y( l) T" ?for the fabulous job they do...
* I/ i. q& a/ Kor forward with love
6 D6 S! e& |4 `) H1 ]* cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.