Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ \+ G' F& D8 d9 O9 m. U$ DDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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9 {4 u( e: B7 K6 w0 r: J  u$ G% Q3 qJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# c2 i7 U/ T0 s: S9 X4 _8 epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 q# r% V: {/ [( A3 O9 JCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# B/ {) @$ E' P8 j& m) g* l$ {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 Q2 _% Q6 i: z5 S" fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, ^; T. n% P' N* ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 z3 H6 _  I0 o2 H2 d# V' l# B$ Quntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 ~  t1 v$ `$ @in case, this time, the screams from
* R2 x) u) n( K# @8 t9 z0 Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 m3 U, [' m! Q7 C0 f* {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ M9 ~- ?4 j% J& x/ j0 O! ~/ Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( V4 c1 O* b9 land stuck zippers.
7 b1 {  V; u) _/ k# G- `& h; LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* E6 G- w9 S3 P" H$ \' Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 e, ^, H% `& [& {. l& \5 \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* ^5 {7 Q7 q0 p: oan embarrassment the next.
" S$ v* L. w) e4 `3 c8 iMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, N3 m- K% C4 L- qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, ?( D* z' f0 w, e% sMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) n8 M5 V! _8 A$ C& }8 c: f+ cjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- ], m. R: \( L$ _. @updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& s3 n" t7 v5 k* @0 i  v, u  ?: Ccan ultimately surpass you.


3 v- U1 b* o9 w; Q+ @" s$ r" tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% d% R, W) p$ ~None required, unfortunately.
1 c. u4 d5 Z5 d) yOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 m  N- x) Y( a- ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
: x6 ~- d3 r' ybecome financially independent.
# g! {& J% o) @. [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 O: h3 G! |# Y+ q3 |* @The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: s2 T% y% G  D8 P9 b# {: [$ h. b, TBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  N0 f. W4 }, V5 H2 m* ^. Ufor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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5 q  N) m/ A; ^Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.