Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ ~  Y0 Z) n! u, WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 k0 t) V" `; xCandidates must possess excellent communication
8 A2 e! f. C5 `: E9 q1 Kand organizational skills and be willing to work
( U5 B& P% s& evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- g: r" B4 e9 n; g% o0 ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 I5 y" g5 v) s. Q9 H4 x8 uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 S4 J/ q: g, r4 ?" `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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% o/ V# D1 |  D2 T3 ]+ sRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 d4 \( F% |# ], f/ Z! EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- U9 C7 E% Y* uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
7 D0 s) Q0 v4 Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, L0 Y; B7 Z& I) E, M* mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) m9 Q+ k( ?5 g/ i6 C8 {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 c1 L3 x$ H0 Zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 C3 Q+ h  `% H+ ^5 vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 t4 [5 e+ r+ P! A. ^; ^an embarrassment the next.
  K# @& `+ I4 X$ Q1 y& uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 V: g; j- |  D* y& y$ ]4 b0 shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' S  X% n' Q$ r$ r2 @" lMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 I, ^% T) {& n4 l" uNone.
6 u$ O. i7 |6 }; {: s+ uYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


3 s: j' h3 I" x. j1 O4 K3 _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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" M4 y  }- p. `  e: q- f# M0 |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 F& S/ B8 I: v/ G! h/ ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& O, c0 l- L: j; Q" }0 [3 {of the assumption that college will help them
' j+ |( p9 }; m" T) j1 jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

+ ?  d! e4 E2 h; E" q: hBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* o( _! m# l7 {0 Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: `9 L- n# E% W+ I# b' jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



6 t) d7 D" P, R& XForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- A& H; U/ W' Z3 K: [letting them know they are appreciated
. O, k/ Z) M/ e9 G) t. `for the fabulous job they do...
) E9 G9 h% _2 c6 a; |: bor forward with love
" `2 A5 Y; R& P- a, ~to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.