 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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& h4 x i& V$ w; F0 @Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 8 |6 j) J: f* T9 }1 W
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
! T/ j @. M8 |) {Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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' I" J" P r N9 s! \permanent work in an often chaotic environment. % @" {! v/ Q; y: p
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. I+ U* \+ G$ _5 w2 Vand organizational skills and be willing to work 4 G$ \/ z+ r. Y; y; Y5 O! B, l
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ z+ \/ F: w6 i. g: P2 {) Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. " J7 }" `7 @1 o, b! ]) E5 f' {
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 7 o2 d" R8 d' f( E- Z
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 0 R* M' B9 ]: M( S& n- Z
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 X0 l' i& A5 [3 u2 A: d2 bTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) ?* A) q7 j7 w7 F7 W% yExtensive courier duties also required. . y2 i% D0 p! A$ z; u( { l8 \
0 ]4 r, q: Y8 d3 l+ PRESPONSIBILITIES:
9 m7 T. F2 G, B) V) FThe rest of your life. 6 d: O8 e" ?* q; p, p9 }$ ~# V6 m5 o
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, " T9 i Y, ]. p8 f7 R. h! p
until someone needs $5. 8 O, N# Q" W- B z* p
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ! T0 e+ g3 x: B+ y0 z3 Y/ V
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; L5 r" F# ?2 q7 N+ q4 G* @+ zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 9 B3 Z/ a8 U7 h5 A, ]
in case, this time, the screams from 7 a8 l4 w5 u9 g# @0 b
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 1 h( J( q$ T8 l! M3 b' F z3 w7 u9 ]
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 7 M$ ^3 v3 m' A
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 i; O2 Q2 J) K+ r, k1 dand stuck zippers. " y: F. L0 a- [$ U5 L- h4 K
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! A* h& q% \- h8 Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 f; a0 g0 R* CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: I4 z- h4 \* n# F0 w, O9 ]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- }) T: @4 m8 l% ^5 Xan embarrassment the next. $ m# u2 W! Y* p( Q* L# s5 w
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& _0 i; |9 k m6 v7 _7 \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. # c1 p0 }; o% M9 k& n6 V
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ; p* v$ j* S# F9 J
Must assume final, complete accountability for " Y3 X6 D) E& g# p6 d4 g6 m; b4 R
the quality of the end product. 4 I: w6 D- ^, n: A' W
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 D2 T, M# X7 kjanitorial work throughout the facility. & m$ V" _. g8 u# N" U$ {5 O
* v# M; {( ^6 dPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:: O* d/ W4 E$ u0 V+ z, E
None.
1 q- c( q; o7 | C/ |9 MYour job is to remain in the same position for years, / k% t3 y: J/ a- o1 m
without complaining,constantly retraining and 5 @% ^, R" H/ |2 x. h! u
updating your skills, so that those in your charge R: g3 e) h/ F) N% ~! N+ t6 A
can ultimately surpass you.3 O' T/ z/ W4 f+ N; S
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: # J4 e8 M5 f+ k0 i
None required, unfortunately.
1 Q0 F) ^6 r9 S! TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. / p) v' ~7 v- m) ^
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 2 i( d. G+ M0 r( R3 ?$ M" p4 V0 m
Get this! You pay them! & o$ o- i9 |0 l' v$ z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ! H( A. g. _0 B5 b
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 5 X* p" k; @4 d3 o7 ?
of the assumption that college will help them ( t. ^" C5 J o2 I8 X
become financially independent.
) K2 v+ p+ g0 g" f$ t- SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. ; b9 T/ p+ O9 i8 J
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 }9 L& U' x! p lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 5 [( R$ N/ b5 P' J
1 p5 `1 e$ u$ y: N. R8 ^# YBENEFITS: ! }# B A5 v& k( |4 ~# I
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ( I( u4 ?& o1 u9 ^8 @) p: l3 x
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and # P. Q5 ?7 `* X( v% i5 l% c/ h# b
no stock options are offered,# s& h- O6 [+ s, O5 P* t
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 7 G$ E2 B+ F( `5 C
! m8 t; O" G6 g% n% [. O2 U8 o4 } munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.* y. ^5 d7 W- H* X7 v8 o. @
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/ H9 N+ G) S. a1 x# E( f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **5 r8 o+ k8 }0 ^8 ^$ }
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 s) d" x/ J; A: Oletting them know they are appreciated
8 N) b/ i) {* p2 Q" V! V0 efor the fabulous job they do... c4 d- w4 F1 M8 x' _0 C& u# O
or forward with love : ]3 d: Q; b) q! N% N3 q, N6 L4 \
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.2 [" J3 {8 B* q0 p* W- n4 E
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
