Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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; A4 T: R5 k7 R7 CWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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5 B& i( ]" X. kOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

' G. i6 i5 p  N0 R. S) DYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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: q8 q8 [1 h: K" b7 T0 CIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

$ C1 j) }3 S6 ]( c, |6 ~: ]If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

% ~+ h# I& O0 G1 C1 ~5 J4 P# z6 rThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

! @5 i6 I& m8 Y+ _% sThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

0 z5 h! g5 O6 ~' b0 A/ ^! eLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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/ Y  d$ h7 E/ K; I6 rDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane