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Crazy English!) l/ {% ?1 g& o
2 ^# o- r2 f; H4 D) |We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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5 p4 B5 v( g9 Q ]- _( UOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.9 O" a3 Z A) r2 L) M
6 {* b5 N9 J) y5 m' fYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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- O4 \. I6 G6 m- `$ b; eIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?* [1 x1 ?8 V$ ^$ S: |2 d
- G/ ?3 L8 R. N; rIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?6 v# X8 v7 _# }; a( U2 Z
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.+ |; Y8 W2 G2 m' }: ~# z" D
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.) g$ E f" B' O+ { {) u
/ e {4 L* a B* E& fThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!9 d" I5 _5 K8 T5 f) O" f- R
1 G' x( ]: S: x4 R8 YThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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& S8 _/ H6 |* F! {: c eDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?/ J H* g. y6 C3 }' \
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?4 |% [5 O9 T( R4 K
$ ]5 o I8 x6 ]9 l( p9 K% t P! \If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?* P: E/ Q. e# L
7 D# A) [, O. ?In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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3 g9 x( M) c) \# d7 V* xShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?7 a9 {8 B5 b( F) G }7 E
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?7 b! q& b' a( `$ ?# X
1 r# p+ Y$ ~3 W/ j7 SYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your) ] Z/ M" k0 |) L0 C) v0 [
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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) ?7 V! Q! I0 n# pSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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