 鲜花( 0)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
ZT/ B" r' Z3 p2 N
& L( K4 O' S u4 G& C6 `, ^+ ?) {5 y, r0 ]2 ^- Y5 a; F
Crazy English!" Z- f" K8 |: f S/ W# V
/ }% ? I' f# G- x2 q5 }- B3 ~$ xWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
3 D8 v; D- W& q7 f" F7 e5 @5 I5 ^
/ x0 Z# d; c. k& GOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.+ T8 Z H2 ]! E% ?. W
4 L5 ?0 j7 c! j: s4 ]# VYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
1 u3 b: Z5 {* Q6 f. i8 j( I( J9 B' p6 x! N
If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?: l& v, t. J ]9 ~7 K4 V8 q
) Z/ Y9 U# C7 }7 F
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
: p( |0 I5 F8 C4 G: k2 m' W3 b5 n
( t5 n% e7 a6 H+ R% eIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
( f8 d& v. M& C
* g m2 |9 }+ E9 AThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.: m/ r& L8 M7 F5 n
1 C% J! n! c# ?2 eWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.9 z; ^) ?. ~; C* _8 F- h( B
! a* U0 h1 U; p, IThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.+ |; E( n- E. Q' h5 w# P6 ~
) l, x& i3 O9 i- u+ OLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
/ T! g* Q& v, R
7 C0 H: }2 g4 L3 D& GThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.8 s" E) T+ k8 e2 S& I; T7 n
9 p- @3 _8 ^+ \+ J& ^/ @: u6 ^And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
1 M8 O X) h; N- D/ }3 }' N* k+ F: P- \9 R2 w6 T% {# [
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?! y a. t- e$ P3 F2 B3 }6 V
% [$ z7 I9 a0 B% q2 ?
If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
9 ^8 F- X% B: }0 Q+ d4 X4 B- h( n4 V- n; F9 X% O6 H0 D5 [, @; x
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?( w+ d6 s' T* {9 y1 B
6 O% K5 W7 _1 J) p: j2 B1 N( m, tIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
" m4 M$ [7 Q0 ?- `
- Z0 D/ M6 V/ CIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?8 a7 E o( k2 T6 E. v
* |7 v0 ]9 j" O1 s2 ~; @, M) wShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
& b. O( B& ^0 X1 @6 d8 g6 U9 y, H; ?$ \: h) k6 F6 _
Have noses that run and feet that smell?7 }+ U6 B' Z$ S4 R' z2 s
' p- R+ H1 y* S- gHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?# S3 n; V" U; M6 K E2 i0 o9 l: E
* O# i4 S3 R/ f% U! ?+ @3 c/ KYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
, f+ n0 D5 I! S% z6 THouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!4 I" P6 f. }& @2 L( @# t
( ]& M) T; u( S. WSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
|