Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

7 U; U: w  N) X/ o" G( F4 RYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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9 |6 E$ R  M  Y9 h; sIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

! ?* g9 z' B) r( ~# _: T3 z! l1 |  oIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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% s" S& v3 f: |; xWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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7 |* u1 R( N$ k: k( q& y( P* IThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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6 ?' h0 R* [% M+ m- z8 W* KLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

$ d- @7 x7 `9 F/ G' f$ sAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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; Y0 _: N. G5 S/ A6 kIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

) ?# Q, G% \, a: SIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

2 ?9 n4 b/ C6 y0 qShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

2 s6 O) ^  \0 b1 THave noses that run and feet that smell?

4 t7 K, u: E# S/ I: aHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
0 G* j- u2 B, w4 A3 y9 l6 D7 M: {& eHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane