Crazy English! Zt

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4 c( G- w' G+ t) t/ N$ C, }/ ?Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

6 p: E7 f& Q' K: O6 o( wOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

+ ]2 _5 [0 e4 x8 m( }, |5 XYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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" x, Y: O( i: l; g+ F* WIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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, B0 J/ L% Y+ i8 x$ c; ZIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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* s) N0 W( q5 ~5 @9 _5 c2 |Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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3 _7 L0 G% p( F7 z1 T+ BWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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! I+ [1 @: _# ]* R  K  ]  DLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

3 I, o2 [5 b/ ~, M, ^Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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: `1 S2 ~' e/ Q! w# n- @( xIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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) W' I) w6 d1 K* n( JShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

2 q8 m- u* _8 F( Q+ x/ sHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
+ Q& I/ x. Q4 s3 tHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

) |1 V) d. z% _. XSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane