Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

/ }% ?  I' f# G- x2 q5 }- B3 ~$ xWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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/ x0 Z# d; c. k& GOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

4 L5 ?0 j7 c! j: s4 ]# VYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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( t5 n% e7 a6 H+ R% eIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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* g  m2 |9 }+ E9 AThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

1 C% J! n! c# ?2 eWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

! a* U0 h1 U; p, IThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

) l, x& i3 O9 i- u+ OLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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7 C0 H: }2 g4 L3 D& GThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

9 p- @3 _8 ^+ \+ J& ^/ @: u6 ^And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

6 O% K5 W7 _1 J) p: j2 B1 N( m, tIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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- Z0 D/ M6 V/ CIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

* |7 v0 ]9 j" O1 s2 ~; @, M) wShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?

' p- R+ H1 y* S- gHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

* O# i4 S3 R/ f% U! ?+ @3 c/ KYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
, f+ n0 D5 I! S% z6 THouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

( ]& M) T; u( S. WSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane