 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol& y" K* P- i2 W) U& k7 p
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% `" a7 T& [& n- NThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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9 ]6 ~ B, p" s" q% ^' k1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.+ r! S; {1 q" l; z! q |
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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5 O d) e8 T. b. s5 Y V3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.7 H" Y2 N4 ^$ M* b: |
: w9 l- d, r& e, Q R! P6 C5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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J$ j* N; V% |2 K* R7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.3 @! n8 ?: H+ g0 r: ^& J
( e1 _4 A4 K- q8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask* h5 j5 _$ R+ h( f- y
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.7 g- N( ^5 Q C3 G; B: s; f) F
! K! b' K2 f/ C1 z- }/ F10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.) p% [) @4 J0 H; N3 }. J8 b
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.) g0 O/ W4 Z, W8 L; {
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!) F0 v8 Q) i { B* @( o
x M7 P' t q2 s w14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!% `& v0 }7 f% ]- Y; c c
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And; last, but not least!): c" }( L u$ y$ V
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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