 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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+ S% }+ r6 Z0 m$ I8 MLet's face it
, t# R) ~; b, W7 y; S8 i% dEnglish is a stupid language.% q, \: h: D$ [" V: i7 r
There is no egg in the eggplant
8 j3 a$ \5 G/ _8 b' n+ VNo ham in the hamburger
: X M- x+ I+ vAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' [1 {: v+ l$ L) B. w" d8 r! h9 cEnglish muffins were not invented in England) E, ~, ?( d2 e% c0 K
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted& c! W! m3 R; L0 ^2 _! Y( e
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that' s3 b O9 z2 U# _
Quicksand takes you down slowly# z, P1 T3 z* j: {2 R) I1 O
Boxing rings are square6 K- V. o J. x+ B: f( r: N: y
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. + P, R3 s- j* B2 C! w8 o6 c
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.( t7 ^: V$ ~6 x A* J
If the plural of tooth is teeth7 l% p# U# j L: t v2 j
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
# x) g1 U% A# x: h! }If the teacher taught,
/ B$ `; ]9 Z3 f: [5 rWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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7 [* G* _$ r1 I9 f2 sIf a vegetarian eats vegetables8 H- b; H( Y/ o: G! g# U( u/ ?
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
- _. g" O+ H# D7 Z rWhy do people recite at a play
) O/ I0 d& @( V O {* Z- M3 X* p0 zYet play at a recital?* W7 @. G8 O# i0 e) l5 T
Park on driveways and+ Y7 X& x g! |. d1 o) r
Drive on parkways# B; c4 N) H( {$ Z
: U4 a! {, z. i$ ^! ]# q" Y: J8 rYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% L" @7 F9 P9 G# uOf a language where a house can burn up as8 j2 R \5 p) l. y) D* K
It burns down+ W: \+ A8 E4 T% z
And in which you fill in a form - _2 h. g2 M$ n# y, w
By filling it out: ^2 S2 h( l- e5 b
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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7 V% x3 S% J8 y, S: _9 w- ~, kEnglish was invented by people, not computers
& d$ Y# M5 r4 N$ |7 `+ h+ `! x4 x( LAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
! U8 u" S: @4 x- ~4 M, K" y(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why3 E _! g- y( l7 S
When the stars are out they are visible0 [, v! g( O; \" q. @1 }6 x6 \
But when the lights are out they are invisible9 O9 S' C9 I9 M+ x0 |
And why it is that when I wind up my watch8 s' h* K# y; B# O
It starts
% o7 u" ?( E/ E; v! Z3 T& q+ fBut when I wind up this observation,; o/ R' P* E: ?$ M# W. \
It ends. |
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