Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
* g+ b/ ?2 l) q/ t, I$ A> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
; H6 d6 M: P4 G9 n> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
& l) V& J4 W( D>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
' x" _5 o) N1 h: n. m6 B>cream.
/ p* D0 o7 U2 \8 f> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
, Q3 ^) x# X+ j1 N/ A  Z, [8 s2 b4 Q> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
& u( f6 X" D- P* ?' T( p> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
( T' j5 ?% n, f' J( M6 U> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
( p* H( f* F' S: ]( d5 Z2 p7 ]> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
: M& \1 z2 b7 G+ w( l1 g! j  m) Z> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
5 B9 t6 g1 t" W6 ]9 A- x- c* t> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
  V) W: _4 s, p* `4 h7 D> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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' ]) F4 j1 z. C( ]7 _( d- X. P> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
2 y: D* O% X4 |' r( O> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
/ S2 a& T* f1 y  p5 }) V( ?( b> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
: P5 N+ |2 _. I5 i3 j> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >
( h. y, B# T1 h# d; V5 s2 F0 I3 e# P> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
9 q5 A& r- c1 i5 O2 D. q> > > >piss!!"
3 c* ]4 O, U% |4 }# l. G> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
4 O& @; R/ E% ]$ r; V8 G! S2 X> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
4 g6 W4 F' V% w> > > >allow
* G% z9 W* B, ]5 [: _% e" p2 ?> > > >you to go."
' @0 R$ ]4 P) L% g) e1 E. i( ?6 C> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
. B( w9 C( S1 ~+ g% b- @' R; i! i> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
  o: X3 N- f+ K/ L> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
' J& }$ l7 V" B9 U' `. K> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
4 w. P% @" `: z8 |> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
0 q' e; _% y1 L9 P> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
6 a: k" p# K, M8 g* ]. m> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
6 V7 L% [6 ~5 p$ Z/ X/ D" k> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
2 q. W& g8 z- A4 y> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business