Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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& }# ~# F! K( S3 l, Y8 g> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
! O7 B# T* v3 i( p+ ?* L& T, B> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
& T; r+ s+ Y9 ]8 C7 u1 N> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
- ]% H; w* L4 l# t) Q>thinking."
" V: p  s: L4 h/ y+ E/ O> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
! ~: d" ]1 v: f4 j; s0 |> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
. w  N# C! j( X5 x1 i: v: y% x> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
) r# C% J( A* l/ D# k2 S# M* _0 L> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
; v4 o8 Z5 X& }* }: k/ r> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
& r* X0 t# l3 S8 r1 h& h> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
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, t& K) H( u& Q> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
$ n( R. o' E0 I$ [  a> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
7 J/ l) j2 }' Z# B" Z" B+ P> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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  J' F" a' e' O* c% [" z; ~1 x> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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9 f! M& `- s6 W# h$ T' E> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
# x+ a2 Z7 D4 ~- v+ a> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
" v1 z' N5 G! t( ~3 r> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
$ A. ?& t! R- r) p> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
# w" d) T/ ~, r0 q8 t> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
* R: N/ T6 G! v& j! [: d1 _/ W> > > >beautifully."
0 X! S8 v1 y% W> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
. b' c3 j9 P; r( D* i# l> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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1 p% `! m# ]0 @) w2 S* N, F# [> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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% [: t, W% P# S$ u  o> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
1 _) S5 E+ K8 E, B3 K, O8 y> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
1 o5 k6 a! @/ g7 S% m. x' ]> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
1 M& P5 N; n! c3 E. H" K8 e> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
5 r5 N3 V* ^) P# Z, f> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
% v6 |3 U7 T# k" k$ o- u7 l> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business