Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
0 g5 |, [9 F0 G% y: t> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
& ^  n4 }0 s! ~9 A- `> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
: ^8 T5 a! h: r5 z4 V: A+ c# u> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
6 y! e+ o% G9 c) Q2 P>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
2 o- q3 x% s. g$ O' V# \+ ^> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
) X% i+ C& U6 n! k: n; G" q& X; b3 Q> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
: U1 I, B4 K* c4 I' W: ^, _: A> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
- L, q" K) \7 O6 k# W  P: ]> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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> > > >
( s  r  `. _: N0 M7 Z* {> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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+ k# ^5 f. k, p$ W; m> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
0 b% T- y6 ?* s> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
, a$ Q5 N4 U5 Z3 _" \+ F> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
. T* ?. }8 {% t6 w( |8 q> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
& m+ G' A& @3 E> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
# j$ s2 p; g- b> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
+ p$ t/ O4 `4 J2 K- r> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
2 N% M* n9 Z% q; {* P. W> > > >piss!!"
3 }' G7 C( B) Q$ c> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
* O( t. S+ t/ M7 u5 P> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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1 O3 M( N. `* y( e) ~> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
, p% E2 n: u9 e% `1 ~> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
. E: Q% ~+ d" w& o> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
% h9 Z% t* \" k: R* V> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
7 }: Z1 Z, H0 X& }$ E# q6 P> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
* |8 E6 s% L! Q. P& M> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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, u  C5 n) E" U& z9 ]4 O  @> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
, u! p9 |: Y8 f; [: ]& s! ~> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
; q0 t1 l% q6 |& v: K8 \> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
  z( s3 g: r! }" R8 d  k7 C> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business