Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

sweetspot

LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
> > > >
, {, \) k/ b) |& a8 z" g> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
5 w% g) y: r; z  z> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
3 K* p9 K+ W! C, v, q' [: L> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
2 @/ L9 x& V+ C# u' [>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
5 I' F) ^( b. i9 T6 z# P4 b8 O- n> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
5 P& ]$ |) e4 o& D/ J: d2 @( u> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
' P) D1 u+ Y& r) |  j; Q> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
4 @5 o8 P1 H3 Z  H+ o! {> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
* ^7 j% H, U6 g! \3 j> > > >
  ?. G+ o3 v  j% u) K9 P> > > >
, b. J( H7 U; r. V7 g  |0 k> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
0 J7 R( L& u9 Y- s8 k> > > >
8 `- g2 h; [  F: ^/ H$ Y, I' y> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
0 N2 r- C& o8 h! x) V> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
  q* K* F1 ~- {% k> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
; J) f5 t; T: I1 }2 z% X> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
9 w$ j1 \) ]5 p0 X% V+ B> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
+ `( Z% q* Q7 `7 J9 V5 p& y1 p/ \> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
, r8 Y0 f& x6 J$ _2 S& @> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
* g/ M9 N3 j# n  C8 R> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
( _8 J$ Q. n# {: k$ G> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
# y/ j, M0 i0 D' M> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
' [, T* ~  c: q) z5 r; O' u> > > >piss!!"
& ?! b, u0 ?9 B: v6 h6 {> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
# o$ s* n, o2 Y% @3 `1 Q> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
' s% L1 h, ]; N6 h> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
  X0 M, h; _6 }0 l> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
" ?. X& V  a1 l& C, J) {> > > >
> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
" N3 p1 N& G- \( I" L) G$ f6 t> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
* C0 O- I2 z" P& G' B> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
# j1 M, L1 A" `& m6 I& B( U> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
> > > >
' U0 `7 R6 r& s> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
$ H# E( c6 l& R# F" y5 X9 \> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
  w) b" {! G' \; E& b  A$ y( G> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business