 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : % B) k" U8 W4 y1 L9 P
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 ]) u* d6 G* n% P8 M( v3 `
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.3 r: ?' e, v- a" j: g0 Z" q, j4 R
/ [2 f+ n6 [2 @0 e G; w; N* yLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
2 S" N& O+ {5 _, C/ Q& f+ ?+ Amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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8 t( B3 }5 r! Y# t. G, s5 }Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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5 o2 m- ]6 s, K0 JWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 D" ^! f; A; v3 T
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.., {- k/ f/ D1 _: N- B
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / `' W; s3 F! M
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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b1 u3 D# Y# ~9 ~* D' f2 gRinse conditioner off hair.
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* `; ]* S) }; WShave armpits and legs.% i# h! p, W! l) _4 d2 V# ]
: D3 y) `, E1 WTurn off shower.3 B' l2 H- ?2 T' N" b( K
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.4 _" \' Y$ Z7 b0 ?
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. " M/ r7 ]4 ^) Z2 F6 s+ H: w
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 ?, L0 m+ o0 `6 B4 l6 U* e
0 W/ N( h" A5 F+ W1 u9 C. ]Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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0 }0 c7 T; G) |0 {Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 Q9 w& k( m4 ^, C1 T& z' W
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # |; Y0 A" v2 S( D" E0 B
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7 m$ p; _, c: r% T. p' hHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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/ m- u6 x g+ ~! I# ^: o+ sTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / u; O$ u0 Y4 O) |6 a/ j
# z' S `4 s9 D/ KWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. . ?6 Z1 F- W/ d" D3 g
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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; n4 B* ]$ j4 p y" F" }# I7 VAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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% w) U7 s Z8 Q" X2 C" DGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. / B% E, O1 Z; t: o- B
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 C& ?8 Q& f! f4 i
0 E- e+ }7 L0 T. dFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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0 E* S. V8 c" U* X% qSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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* H5 R, {/ q" X9 sWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % ?2 | E, x* _6 H+ k' f
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 6 p2 ~" b3 \5 @8 `# v- e6 N
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Partially dry off.* Y- S( r. [+ l: s5 `5 O5 j
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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$ l7 n. J1 N# A% A1 K9 Q' T& VLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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* ~+ o: q/ X D1 |# O& |8 HReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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" {1 t% a+ E9 G) F; C# AThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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