 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
! R, \: L5 i" W% }
8 ^) u) ~- ^9 x" u8 h! P! Z! j0 ~2 s3 ?% v% n- l3 @' l0 ]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
! T" _/ O3 `) M" F- Q/ X% t8 _: D+ b
5 t. s& [' ~: E8 t# w2 d$ @& R
. H( A3 S2 k' c2 B( P! p. _' ] M; v2 n# N1 O% ?
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
# j7 ]1 }/ U; \9 O1 L3 p+ c1 @) @" q2 j; ?3 U
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
0 b) S7 U: M9 J Z Q; D5 Q5 j) y6 U8 x! m3 e
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. F5 s( W5 v& [- z
! T5 N/ V4 n5 D; a3 K# U& ^
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 u! W O+ [, E2 v }3 Q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; K; M2 ~. v2 z6 c- M. i3 L% x
" S8 e4 C7 p' Z/ I, G% U
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. : z+ f: t2 h% p) C+ P8 O
8 R* v6 k' B ^ S& [3 Q9 y0 n9 cWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
1 ~6 i8 S) {, A# `3 _4 ?9 A v# T% n. i* X. \/ n& P& E
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
+ _" e3 Z9 E$ S7 e
Y4 y4 ]- \ X, _9 W' rCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
9 h# X" K, S' c5 G' q' c5 o# M. }7 t a: [1 r& o
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
7 N, A8 P1 }4 {' V, C( u, o) _; B+ h2 C. Q. a' r0 Q2 g
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
[5 B* U, e$ U/ `7 T
7 [2 d2 [3 J4 l s5 r2 uRinse conditioner off hair.7 U9 ]$ H, ?! s8 A
7 m7 R: S- ~' V* A
Shave armpits and legs.& e7 e: Z/ e0 b
; O' E8 D9 ^( h/ r# V& B
Turn off shower.
+ |% i1 P6 Q, E
3 H5 w& J' _1 z# C8 q3 R* U, oSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.7 |. C6 \& |, v' {- g. q* V
# {2 k% \) {* L
Spray mold spots with Tilex. ) _5 s# D- t) R3 r( E
9 t: f* B3 p# w; bGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
8 }& [5 J) c2 |! ]7 n! S/ v/ ]$ z4 N5 U5 ]4 z+ ^
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
6 H3 U8 r$ E( b ~4 h, T
/ ]9 l4 Y8 m& A0 C7 F E9 tReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * A- C [1 x3 @
% q6 M! \) M/ \4 ]: n5 p( QIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3 [& J7 q; b* Q* w+ v% j
[1 h3 L, D0 |6 |: |' k1 |: |. n l) Y7 [1 N4 @" b
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
; H" z* X9 I" P# n D) L& _5 C( ~4 k" j) ^, U
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. . x. r$ j, x. X& K
5 S( W8 F; m2 A8 J+ C7 PWalk naked to the bathroom.
8 F* P5 V3 J1 K& t1 b4 W* Q& @; ~! t% I+ Q, K1 u
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - l" I& y% V0 ~
& t( X$ l" H* D5 r( y7 d% \5 c
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
, @+ W/ V( L5 a1 Z
1 |* j% C0 t* m$ U4 hAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. : H y7 v, j- G2 W T6 d3 F
' y8 @& a v" W+ v2 dGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - U9 j& G# ?! K l! ]
/ z, W( M I" @% M% a& _ H! t o0 c. vBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. & E" n H" g1 w$ f a
; { j, n1 {& T0 @Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - E8 K: C* j$ N B, S" J' \
6 l6 \! z$ S1 }0 h7 f1 Q. O" xSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
2 Q! R& c O3 Y6 k4 ^0 x1 U2 j u* R* N
/ e, o* e9 z( S: fWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
5 O) O# f9 G& w9 H, X0 D3 B( J# z6 n/ ]' k" g. r& H; c
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 4 l+ o' o" z8 L% J
" T: N7 G S6 @" G# C6 ~* ZPee.
/ k8 H7 ^% h# \1 w1 l" z
1 a) Q9 I# d+ V& ?* DRinse off and get out of shower.
- n: ]' A8 G# T, r4 M* L; `8 m M! n
Partially dry off.0 ~$ ?6 n% i% b9 \ |5 E6 h" U
8 `' r8 u- U$ {$ p0 M' E
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 1 Z3 W1 _+ a5 z: g5 B4 Z
6 Z, g* V" [: d6 Z( E! \& E; K) yAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
& h7 z, ` L* W# [5 R: ^
& E: S2 n: O3 T5 U0 x6 G* rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
% {1 j# X2 b N& |$ Y5 W' W" ~5 [- J( Z
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ( d$ f7 |' z7 _( o; B& ]
. @" U& A- ~2 w9 e: p9 ]Throw wet towel on bed. ; b5 k2 _8 w6 ^9 w" T+ ~
# X6 w' Y( a' {6 i0 _If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
