 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 d. u' [8 F2 [' e% | A7 Q
W( `$ q; z4 B, w' Z! y
/ a4 k% J" Z) p( R+ U4 y--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 h, W% _9 Z! j3 z9 ~9 m2 u9 q. O' N! G, a
5 w- @" L% V- M. x# _ * J$ t, O0 i; C
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
# h/ y* |5 g( d; \) q5 y# e5 L
* I! E$ k. z, q2 F2 x) Q: tWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
. h- i! V$ G% c* c& E6 _" f: e/ H9 g" i, {% X
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.1 z9 P r. q+ B+ [; E1 s
2 D! D2 n. `0 [' k6 |Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 7 M2 x$ y8 ^1 f1 T
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
* R) _( l3 M& ]8 ^, `* Q; \9 X4 n$ {
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 [1 B! [( Z, F' A0 ?, R
, `& q) x- |8 M; A/ eWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # Z/ P5 s& e- C1 w
( n* `0 B5 p$ a6 c2 _
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
6 o' v: v+ |7 Q- H+ ^; \: t) X% t$ r0 A* B' |4 g! l
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 Z5 w; {# i" D0 x9 F3 w
, @! O6 a$ j5 }
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
$ _/ s+ g5 M f* X0 Q2 J0 s) u
. F6 G( d* G+ nWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 I" T4 t# `$ G# l
8 [1 N6 q0 ~7 [! `& }3 g; sRinse conditioner off hair.
8 i8 P, z6 X# L: I" ?0 |7 Q) ^( j: R7 v- t6 z- Y
Shave armpits and legs.
" @7 ]8 C6 \* H) I( }: b% `" _5 C# S4 V. u1 d1 X
Turn off shower.
1 s9 D5 M) |( j+ N1 t& j; L3 H" b; f0 w. B( w0 @$ n
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
; m$ X6 m6 R# f {: [* \; B+ u
/ @) w8 D$ P9 \6 C0 r5 }. C6 O) oSpray mold spots with Tilex.
. m. w* a& k6 a/ v" z: d
8 `3 j. p/ S* u1 lGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & Y6 d* X0 \/ E) @
: I, i$ ` r$ YWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
' B0 W1 L" |- m4 _4 ]9 {4 k; c$ H! U3 N+ k/ b7 ?# x1 L. E) l, O
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
: [( x$ y* _6 @/ P( e7 ?1 T
# i- t. ~7 _3 S$ R0 sIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ! U5 ]! R5 D/ L9 l
$ s7 Y5 C- f6 ]" n. H. t2 h
6 \9 |1 x) |5 nHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + b. R# h: w6 X% Q' Z
+ i8 \4 ?9 @9 C# WTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 0 E$ Z' o0 `& O
2 r8 Z) o/ W5 h3 h
Walk naked to the bathroom.
+ P6 K( n6 @/ J( ]: `' u" j; p2 N8 O" |; S9 v5 E Y) O
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
" h3 f$ \% s5 {0 a
7 I( ^* b5 s. ~6 }Look at your manly physique in the mirror. # v1 |6 v, {+ o: b. O. {, R
2 w" g" ?: f0 aAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ' N0 ^9 `, \( g1 T4 l4 K
: v4 a3 P: z2 k2 m; p' g* |$ MGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
$ k$ T7 b& S x
) L! Z3 z! |3 i9 R' L% RBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. & Y5 _7 j7 q; ?+ H0 s, p: F
% C" Q. s8 }( z9 N: j
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
0 _+ c% y2 R0 ]# {' j
% O; i7 y( U: t# ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
! A- ]1 l) R9 E6 c2 P7 \1 I- ? D- M% S- K3 ?8 A2 B
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
$ L! `9 Q3 }. Z8 J0 v: G) I$ x
( c! l. M) R# EWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % R7 I# R; h- P: N' B4 P3 T6 j
( q0 P# m" N6 Y9 @' c% C, N1 }Pee. 2 P& T( j% e$ |! z
8 A7 j1 j, C7 s, PRinse off and get out of shower. ) {3 L( S! p0 U+ H: s9 q
/ S- |) Q9 d4 M/ Y
Partially dry off.
- h( O2 n* ?4 m6 o+ l* m% e5 S
V B7 Q& `7 w8 eFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
4 t) N+ R8 b1 }& F6 b5 _ U6 j' [0 ~; z- s, q" ]( Q
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
! a3 j- \. G% W
( u4 j8 _# g7 w @# C$ O9 pLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 e+ ^4 q8 j6 e! `
- k2 E) e! v+ P' Y* Q$ r" f1 H# yReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
" `4 g. f9 A0 t6 j/ s
J; M/ ^# p& }5 k. eThrow wet towel on bed.
, K& s$ r9 x4 ^5 C0 s/ Z7 S
) F% g: J8 u. tIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
