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Why did God make mothers?
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Y. \, h) G# `0 b1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
% u6 ^5 R7 G2 m. ~ T2. Mostly to clean the house.
0 }! ?+ v! ?: A3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. % L, G) }0 x2 I
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How did God make mothers?
; T8 s3 k5 m1 ]; F1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
h/ K& h! Z! |! q' Y; N5 u2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. ( t8 t/ S# ~/ ~4 b7 b
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
# L2 n" y* Y4 H1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. & z# C) F }; M4 W4 n
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 0 b4 p5 x* z* d( ~* s n6 @
0 @7 ]& s. r+ j2 \# ]3 Z" U0 EWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
* ~+ }8 \" z) q; e, C1. We're related.
7 X' ~2 [3 i: m" O" _: E2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. + b$ y# w3 D$ G; n
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
2 a9 C8 p) e! X$ p' f4 A: S1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
3 ^; n% I+ s2 e! S+ d j2 S2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
+ |! E+ e& p/ _, ]6 T5 x3. They say she used to be nice. ' V. j5 \0 x i0 e8 {, b
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
" Y. q4 h4 M/ P/ I1 D1. His last name.8 ]2 p& K) \" M5 Z2 j+ y$ c$ v
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?$ G' E4 C% f" \% ?# Y7 G: f1 X
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? * _) Q; ?9 ~. Y+ ?- [8 s
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
% {! |# d! f3 k/ h0 A1 Y- r: o1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
6 b* a6 X) A7 d& x2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
7 r& v- _' l5 E" t5 Z& c/ ]0 [3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. * Z3 Z/ I/ S C7 E
% n/ s# F1 e" O9 x- R+ N' u& J6 `- yWho's the boss at your house?
; q1 D: E) w |1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
$ E; Y: w/ V! @6 p2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.2 y: e, N7 c' t! x3 H* E
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. " C; ]( `1 \4 @0 v5 r
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
' ] m5 K) b/ |) F5 O1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ! P9 C4 {5 Q3 ?/ h$ \0 t" [
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
% Q; S' x" b+ B1 }& @; Y( ^9 |3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
( w! y" H1 E( i% R; C4 x4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 9 Y, T$ y: c: H: E; ]) z1 g
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What does your mom do in her spare time? 8 t# u& l# {1 L1 |5 w8 ^* I. A/ L
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
* P# y5 Y5 N' R z/ M* I2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
8 O8 P' H4 q& B3 d9 U/ L1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
- ?! y t0 X' j4 L8 V D2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. # c m; \2 X) o. b+ S
0 [' c+ ?: @8 n" q+ F% _If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
6 s+ A! h# b8 e0 c {1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
* Z' N7 H9 K' Q3 { t2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
1 O* {# ^8 u' J3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. : x* H' V1 T5 t, |
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