请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
1 X4 W& @6 L" w( j- E( BBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
1 u4 \3 b  V3 H# F/ NHowever,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
Thanks a lot!!!

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, a  i' z; z: }% e# y, G

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Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
7 @* U6 k" X1 O              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
6 o; O- @1 I: x              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
8 y8 s) u) O/ i8 G4 lHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
             somehow I lost myself inside again
Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
  A: G& O6 `6 r. Q; m             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
" [4 @9 s" V5 H0 |Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
; d, t! B  P0 k" S$ s2 R/ i, @& B               I am 一个人de精彩
0 f/ v6 k# q/ T/ D% `               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
& _: o+ p; z! V5 X1 x/ Z2 k( DBut........         
" `. @5 G- o' ~, [/ X* A; }Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

/ G/ R9 z* z0 G. c# ^5 Z3 |卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？
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Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
Somehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
& [: Y( e+ n, [4 MSomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
2 X# z; j2 U3 A( f2 {% T: fSomehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

9 ~! S+ ~) D* K' `( x; zSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
Somehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
5 i+ {5 A9 H" ?) PSomehow I lost myself inside it again

; }: T# _- y2 E& z- {, vSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
. L4 q; ]' j8 p2 Y( I; uSomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
2 o" I! R6 C+ t. G) oSomehow I am the only brilliance of myself
4 `. W3 V( ]: y1 F6 JSomehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
  @! U" w  S9 @* Z- F, W: b================================================
9 C5 V+ f# r- W$ B) @However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
=====================================================================
9 K' C8 S/ V1 c1 H/ ~0 N% isomehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

: P, |& F. w0 U: |8 k哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？