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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.# Z1 p$ \6 | s* |
1 C5 u+ U# ?$ V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% q3 Q1 M. ~/ J7 H& ]
hospital.
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+ |0 E" e& V$ G! i6 a1 X1 D 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ |" s* B# R6 R' H, m; |capital of Canada .
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$ f) J% f, U% J0 P8 r2 z1 T8 E2 I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 D7 N3 n3 S) B+ v% Ecapital of Canada .9 k, I7 o+ h" A2 D2 B/ i% v
' E8 M3 F4 o" X0 |( k z1 g. w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
, H: m- l' @; i, j, a$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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}& W: J J2 B 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& `& i P8 {2 @' {; h6 I# ?3 oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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3 ]3 U$ G$ q- x10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
3 K+ E' {: o$ }1 R: `here sick." f! s# Z* F- Q0 \/ L* Y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' M4 m% U7 O. `7 r- v+ R9 hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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9 e! `+ M2 S/ i) s1 L" M( R# Y) K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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) h; M4 K. ?0 O6 r1 R% ]8 D2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 ]& k( n% t, N) z# L: {$ @is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.3 K& s; A, V# T! u6 N {! ]# x
, d$ ?' I1 R. Q3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& e) d J1 H' v9 J4 |, u
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ V+ x$ B, [9 O" Y9 ^muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 g8 @8 B: x6 i! r7 X
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 G8 X2 m. E. R; C+ n! \7 m
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 u: t1 `; F% n) w/ f: `$ N
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, }" M6 N% N, C
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' H7 |5 w: h' y1 I7 gcan get you shot.
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& N) |2 m' k5 R# T0 q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
7 H* P. l! s9 \& S) Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 u( C3 E" b6 r" d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
d2 w* X! c7 s9 |5 }! \. ]more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ l# L! `5 {: u! b D. R5 h
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ b7 k9 b% O- i% S4 V: X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ b3 a5 ^: D% E& m/ `$ r
. J* E7 c( R4 `0 Y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' E$ {9 P2 k! \) I- h0 S) ^7 Vthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 [- _! A8 b* F1 c& V3 a8 B! E, sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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% s5 @' i) C6 { z1 d/ D10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 m. f1 f( ` T
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 K& R b& ~: _0 V
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." Q9 J+ C, C* @/ w3 G& S* K9 O
7 ~ V& [4 }3 ^2 H7 j2 ~9 ~0 F$ C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 F' w, E4 T* P7 Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 b+ J7 A; T5 m& @8 ^
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 C) L5 r- B5 p1 B
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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