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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' L. L8 _0 n8 S" J; Y5 O: a
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2 M% |9 W9 }" _3 A. T- }: z0 D" p+ b 1. Bring your own house.3 C* T/ \ H9 K6 I, i4 G6 P
) c9 X# k: @6 j3 x7 ]* f, P- d 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
9 @. m2 }9 k; f3 ]+ ~+ ]hospital.; J$ ^' J* Y$ ~/ B# ~6 N2 M* L
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' M) ~' z) G( s: S$ A, p3 L+ E& d' z W
capital of Canada .
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" M4 i& T' w- c& b* s" D" t 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) x, U: U) H c0 f C+ F; Ycapital of Canada . @0 Q3 q, E* M, _) u$ M# c
8 j- y: j, D: @. R/ x2 u 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; j# g+ K; v' R- O# L; ^$8.00/hour.9 |- e/ l3 E8 n; E& A- J& Q/ Z% h
3 ~! b" f1 g D$ p8 Z, m 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# i0 T. @# \5 x$ V! q& i0 y( r# A, m
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& m& W2 X: J) ^& Fon a 15 year holiday ?
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* j1 D I% N5 Q( {5 h9 s 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" z5 i% j0 E) V$ a3 t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), K$ r8 l* ?& ?2 f1 P
3 }' y A( y4 U3 f# z( Y' S10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 h) a9 ?% Q5 x2 t
here sick.0 [" d6 i/ y6 u
: z) y$ j: B6 @" l11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! }5 Z# | L5 }! p) p
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.* `4 |0 @ ]* ~ j
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- \8 O* p# Q& ] THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) `1 e; g9 N; X+ G9 _
# h& e; C! U i3 ]1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) O3 F! }1 D( Z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour% S! r) M& _+ P) U" V2 I
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; c9 ^6 L; } I P- n T% l" i9 ^
: g# _: g4 U( z! ~3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its; K. H: g4 R4 x& C; u
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& Z+ R; N5 A: p8 B3 q; j
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, Z. f1 a& D" b/ Y2 V# [go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* ?& i0 w3 J7 P! vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: w2 |' J) t% X: W" e/ Q5 X
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* ^9 g& ^9 u; C9 @/ Bcussed out, and possibly shot.9 c# c' @; \" f( j& `0 k
/ m( T3 O; e0 L5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% X. N8 z& ?* g- ?
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 j# w& u. s- g. O3 ?) Y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 v$ y. h7 U; w- \# B5 S2 j8 W
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ T" k) d# O& s7 {. J8 S
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., T+ R: b2 j$ e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% Y5 x- W( `, ]6 V! Q3 S, B
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ I, z, r) e1 u( b. A4 n- Y! B9 E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: h) G1 r1 l d; G
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 P6 k& b. ~& i' ~4 h( h! L; W# ~* Azone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
/ c/ s8 D" }" r7 d, u* n0 M* Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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3 ^& I& r C" h& t# @9 \ w, l11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 s( G1 j' Q7 @5 o, Blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( V6 Q J2 f2 ~# b% m1 d; U( _. C3 ^
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ A! ^: \) ]( s6 @virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
