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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 |& v: ^" N' E+ S7 j7 d
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1. Bring your own house.8 O, Z4 n# p9 R1 d/ s
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 D9 `' H+ _7 `9 rhospital.3 [1 |4 D4 w: ^$ `9 d: [: z/ z$ q: _* c
G* z! |5 _! L( p/ y- A 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% J+ b6 X& S; k, Z- ~
capital of Canada .
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% v) v" d3 P; E6 }0 I# p8 [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 S T$ l6 ]: D: R! C9 P7 }
* S8 u! q5 \! \+ u u8 m 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug2 Z9 \2 q" w J5 m. D, y; e& _1 q
capital of Canada .: S' d2 l/ p) q4 n+ D4 B% f
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 ?" ?+ `$ X$ c% f- W$8.00/hour.) i1 V6 c! @ ^. B7 C1 ~& p9 ?
8 x, X# N* e- t 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money1 S6 r4 q* y. Y! L6 _! T) m6 y
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- a b+ s8 H1 m$ w6 A) qprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): m/ H% C' e2 ], t" G8 ?2 F
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
# u/ q5 G8 u* w. yhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: O- t' W# V: C7 iyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.5 X2 \. L9 @& ?" x! F; k
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7 ^4 N; ]4 P4 f" Y; m THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". p- `" D) Y/ `4 v% v
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 C1 C! q# v5 h1 |1 S: t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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* a) N9 i8 \$ s4 g/ d" g3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ D" s: k( R$ ^9 ~8 b! W- Vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( L$ B% P* j$ D8 F3 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 ^- m8 J' @" I# S) ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% s3 s7 }2 l* P1 \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) U7 _9 A# `' B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 i/ |6 n1 F2 Q- k) L9 C! {
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ w3 q0 ]# @2 @3 ~7 ]2 qcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& B/ t7 @8 a# _* k" vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 l, F f( m7 a0 t5 J/ c. ^3 r
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: {( D% S8 l7 e2 w" D8 _
more construction starts everyday.& h& S/ y/ J9 H Q" T9 n. \/ o: {0 v
p! m3 V! A6 l8 [8 ^ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ v& N- m+ [1 s }2 h
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 h1 k. [$ A: S! D% R7 j
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ M$ k1 [. x( u
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all& |1 }( l9 _% G7 L
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( \, R, w0 ]1 p- h' e3 Ashoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) R4 o+ U! y L' ]$ u- `
activated."2 K9 O5 c( [2 A" \4 w; x
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% N" n' `3 |3 r9 O2 `$ f jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 e2 G/ a% b3 [5 [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ r q/ Q8 a+ }$ ~' b- t; L/ x11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 m! }' D6 E& c; alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; |9 N, W8 _3 O4 b+ c( dblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' w# a3 R# G7 f4 fvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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