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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ K1 T! a* K- `( ]$ W
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1. Bring your own house.2 N9 B; K4 a1 t! U' _4 T3 J! B N
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 H; H' V- k. r* }! u" o
hospital.5 T7 D; j3 p( x } w
. L3 T, M3 K! u& v) R. H/ [$ b 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder( X1 J! a! K) P$ ~- w) e7 C! j% Q
capital of Canada .( {& d6 {" @/ f8 o$ t8 T
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .5 y3 I/ E) G1 a* n! _
7 Z2 T( [* q4 T \* N/ y* w% v 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
& h) ~4 O- U* V+ v" `capital of Canada .
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2 `( ~* G9 ?8 |" J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; l1 X, R/ o l2 s7 t$8.00/hour. u, K! b* v, I2 L' [% G
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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. t4 k; B+ Y( |4 g' F( q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money( k! H" N" D) I8 R' z
on a 15 year holiday ?7 L+ r+ f/ r' ?* z5 u
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' P5 i$ C0 c, K6 O1 V9 ~) E. A
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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% h: ?1 A3 b+ ]8 r10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: s) X' q; V. z2 b$ X( \
here sick.
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1 S# J6 j0 c3 @2 a2 `11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ d* @3 E8 G0 E8 @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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, C5 }1 R5 P0 U: p THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 ?& {4 S7 ?* _! Q" M3 L. _2 l
1 E$ @7 g0 P0 i& _ f% n) ~% o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 Q" u5 j& @4 |! k. X
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
. g. w9 `) d% f# Z8 lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ j8 A) ]: w% L( o0 {+ v$ O
J6 P3 J2 M. n9 b3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" R& w1 o6 v0 ]own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 g: W+ ]" p, W' P) G9 q; i& H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% I; O+ i w9 ~+ {6 ?9 C2 r% ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 l/ G3 w q: ~: P jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., p+ u, W, F/ T8 q8 v4 @% r, B: p
& x% d; u9 c( U ]! z- s4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& S8 D/ t8 d8 B6 {. a5 Acussed out, and possibly shot." o/ o2 O) Y8 G# A/ a, k: K
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 ^1 A4 ^ u5 K/ W; Kcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' u; `3 M0 q" Y5 {1 Pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ z1 g: y0 S1 z5 M+ B+ F. l9 B I
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( [ w1 u [- zmore construction starts everyday.
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, t3 d9 J+ V. t6 C+ g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! Y& ~' x( t% M p3 a3 s
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: x; G( p5 k' A! V3 i7 zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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R9 ]' T* K9 y6 m9 c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 g; i3 P% q/ s1 J4 m7 K) {% p
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 v- p' R1 e% ]/ a6 z7 u( Hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally4 y5 {4 F R& M) L
activated."
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: V/ D) G) Y* b7 n10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 v( p8 a" D6 p# \zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! b& P) S; Y2 q& }7 }+ Y I/ Baccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 R5 w( e) G) \. X/ P: `
9 s' h1 [7 n9 A; T( ^11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 O; A" {) G3 _ `4 a" Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: j5 Q& s9 R' o/ l; ~. Y |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& c3 D2 a2 ?/ Z7 jvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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