送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
( j( f: K: R+ d# s; Z3 v2 `4 M1 ^. k

5 E) Y1 @6 q9 U3 ^( ]! _2 Q
1. Bring your own house.
1 \4 ?+ e7 o5 ]6 f
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
. c! ?3 d# n! g( p* ^# [. v' C* t7 {hospital.

0 u) \0 `. l) D. {) Q3 T7 i 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% B# c. L/ a& e* ^% Ecapital of Canada .
( f; z6 x9 q) g$ F. m; |
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
; m$ N! \! l& B9 P4 ]2 p" s
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 K& w1 O/ c2 T6 \, dcapital of Canada .
7 {9 y$ d3 L+ b
! Z2 X' N* E8 ?5 N% d% H 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 p; C/ E7 i, J- @; ?  H3 j& X$8.00/hour.
% F' j; q  H& m6 r
3 c; u$ Y4 V' J 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
# v; \6 x1 I& \& N0 |
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 R) x+ J" |  v  ~- T! Fon a 15 year holiday ?
- R' }: F: r. T6 i8 ^! q
0 R  H1 f- z: S5 T7 I9 _ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

' j* e" E& o8 M10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
0 E+ M! D, p- ?
# I: m1 I  h' ~11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- |9 f/ E* u/ v  ]. J8 ]years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

8 J  J, P, h5 p4 L; \

2 p: \2 `0 Y! @4 @; i THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
1 P  s+ P3 i8 v& J" i' @
) r0 n- L& F  J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
, `# r0 v% U$ P, n0 M' Ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
# L# N% X) e$ Q5 e
" d* P# S1 l) W; z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 p0 m  S8 z" ~! Q/ p, ?own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 C. V' m' n/ b" f* r+ ~phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
/ m. Q- k! T, P+ G; K' O
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ i; R4 Y' b4 n! l, z, ]can get you shot.
" ?0 w0 A' y+ L+ C0 ?' e
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 R0 @+ ?  F( ]: d) Z% jbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 _3 P! B8 L; t. @3 ~3 B' @squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
  o6 J" Q4 }8 o) E
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

3 j! m. |7 D# w* ^9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
4 f5 o* O3 Y9 y. v
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 b2 Z. h3 x& x  w0 P& |zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( ~' D6 W- o: O, paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
3 {" w6 V- i7 [% w' R% s
9 W9 a) v. [, Z11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 z3 O" w. i4 u( O3 ?9 w5 ~" e5 Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# `9 d7 L  C6 S: I+ b; ublankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 |" r3 o5 P6 rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' D; Z# R+ h6 [$ W9 I满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
0 j. G8 H, W/ i. Q有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

% l1 |6 r1 A3 h- D此地钱多, 人傻, 速来


2 X- Z" b/ v; Y- P" K! G
[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
( O+ v& z2 E' d) o+ Z6 y ...

$ U6 G; }6 \* F' B0 I! ^# W4 o
说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
: H8 _! G9 G0 z
$ M( o( j+ S0 @8 V0 D0 u4 Z3 _
5 m. p- B$ Q. y1 f 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

: A# T4 V( |9 x这么刺痛你了吗？

% V2 N, N3 S: C' e" X1 L+ n我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ T9 o. f& a) i5 s5 F满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
' M6 [5 L+ N+ q  H% \. _3 w5 F  W ...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
) h% d$ g4 f  J+ s3 V4 t
再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.