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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.5 n4 C* A* s& U% W' K6 Q
; ^0 ^, m. i6 { N3 p6 t% {" }* Y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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& K& e/ w7 Z s- O6 | 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder- c7 M, ~- n6 s
capital of Canada .5 _! e2 m x6 t1 q+ V5 f
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; }! L/ L3 z, ~8 S: H A! g6 E/ J
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 O3 K+ | ~3 X) z$ @
capital of Canada .% t# ?) D2 @% J F/ Z) t* L
. S' X- k ^, O 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 r2 n9 S; z$ |. A' o8 q
$8.00/hour. c& w/ ]2 b8 R1 F7 h
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour., Y$ g; \# J. x& C
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 x+ O2 |, M/ U( _
on a 15 year holiday ?3 a# `& M0 C( m _7 V" N; X3 N' ^
8 [% N c n+ u1 j 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 ` U& { o1 g" F9 j# E
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) ?0 B, H5 p* }. `$ T
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# l: z1 }, S1 y- A
here sick.
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2 c" E2 e9 l8 ^7 C11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
]+ z( J8 T. V" }years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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2 e6 R5 S/ s( j9 j* l6 @ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". K4 ?/ O! m/ ]. }) O0 z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ j$ R! t5 P' Y& ?5 ?: r7 `- G1 O
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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8 z! {* m* M. D4 ^3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 W; b& u- ? h) cown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# Y4 Z% [+ C# T- a. G
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" p: v/ O9 b% Q) I! {go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
n- d. K5 h9 J: L4 ophone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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: @- A$ p5 Q& U: ~4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
], I7 @) n5 [" ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 U. Q* s3 ^. `* M* O
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* _0 [5 y- u9 \) ?+ D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: e/ _5 S! c) j2 Q2 S( mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 u5 h! n! g2 k6 mmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 ?$ D/ f ~7 M8 N/ H P$ C3 a
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! y! W* E7 j5 N! h1 O, `$ @
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" ^# s! h& c, U2 `6 @" z8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 j w2 V( y( h7 K, x; W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally9 U8 r n; `6 @$ y
activated."
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- W& } P! Y, q/ Z& H( V8 ^4 j10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 d- m1 w2 t$ |* Q: f7 v
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
" U4 O' l H2 }( g N* D' Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 ^2 K1 f& h' C
: M, j. n4 e+ `: f11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' y( ^$ X. H. C3 Y2 {0 ?lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and9 b7 @* W }/ n5 A0 Q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 Z w, g: E0 ^ ]! G* H! Z* `6 H. O! ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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