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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 ?$ d) m+ b6 K0 F: a) X( I
hospital.! \$ V# c6 k! T O d
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder3 i5 `+ K+ @% S+ @( E# S6 c
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( U. v# m% }/ c& f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 L+ _* Q2 Z- J [$ y
capital of Canada .3 A( `2 G; _6 n! A4 }
- ?( l K4 r6 m! M7 K 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 T3 e( |: J4 F5 Q! h, C& Z' L* G* _& u$8.00/hour.* |9 j' G5 q9 V" A) @; ~8 i
# {8 B/ \" i/ B& n& I+ O 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 e/ B8 C+ ?; U2 |7 z
& d. S$ a/ P7 E
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ ~7 S+ u, K6 q A) |# Oon a 15 year holiday ?
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1 U- S* o* f2 o0 }8 U1 A; Y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
* e6 d; L. F: \8 aprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 I# g7 R& T& i2 a0 U
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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) \, H, ]6 C: p2 j9 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# a6 F$ {2 @' c& A% k! ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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4 V1 [' }( `' i' D; {3 ]; {1 d n THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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6 e N: p0 `- J0 K1 K2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour ^: c+ T; V4 f! f; \6 [ y
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* }4 D9 J* T2 N: X' p3 L9 r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest9 V3 {) O( `5 u9 L6 Y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 J3 y& n% c6 H3 c9 ~# c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% P! U7 X2 @$ T3 Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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" A6 w; L" N" g/ z3 q2 C% E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! e0 p( s3 C. e
cussed out, and possibly shot." o; U1 g8 R9 o- v. s( m
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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3 E5 A+ m" e/ D, S6 \6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' W9 q! \4 N& J( Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' {6 B, i9 Q$ l) @# a& R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 M! O; G9 O# h$ u* |; f: `more construction starts everyday.
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, J; y3 b( R8 Z# [ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ t9 d, a) V% Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 {, R3 j2 z3 W# i3 D, A
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 Y4 b1 J2 L: |' i! e3 R
the same road.. R8 G& A5 ~. A! q' w
5 ^+ n! T1 I! R9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 Y6 U9 k& R4 p8 {shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally, u! G: k! S, L5 o
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 n2 G t2 p: Y0 hzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" E- ~* W: T; B& \! D' L% n; n0 W
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 b- Y/ s8 \& p+ c1 E11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 @0 Q' C! `( G. Dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 U/ ]( j+ M" T/ `! n% t9 e5 bblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& T0 d/ M2 D9 p- \$ o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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