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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) o, F1 m' I9 J0 A# `, b( b8 ~& p
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m4 S- E* [* O# H( ^3 s 1. Bring your own house.
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: K* C; H2 z4 s5 ~; ^ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
/ l- W/ R: F! _hospital.
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5 \4 |+ a' {) U% v 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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) R1 b; R+ Z% l. D 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& ^+ B$ G3 v8 j8 x8 L3 B( K R
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 e( t. Q2 M! j' y! Q$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' f5 C Q; z9 Z( W. `7 [8 t3 k- K: d {
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% X) C! Z6 |1 D! B
on a 15 year holiday ?2 V) @# E2 L/ `9 Y
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 c% i) N; ^- T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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0 P! i" o2 r( C- p4 w10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
! y& P+ s' l1 X( F3 O7 i* ]here sick.6 B9 T9 ]. K! ^: u' O' V2 J9 ?( R
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# S: I0 i: ~ L; n! [years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) `$ y* V& O# O4 d
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) x3 I! i4 t/ n$ O* t
/ f8 X. f& z' e; N' u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 W& O8 |, ~% c+ \1 X
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 x) q2 ^5 q0 A: O* G5 D3 D, W+ E0 \own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 D9 f) }3 s# f$ D2 ^1 Z3 ~6 T; Rmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 U" I; _* ^; M7 C7 _0 Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- }. ^2 o* ?, y( |. M7 }7 x9 o* y Vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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6 ~/ k% m% g9 v9 u7 B7 A1 ~- M4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- H# x, a2 B0 v* \cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
; K0 p$ g- }! q( R" i, M( p$ _$ Jcan get you shot.1 A8 D/ G) F a/ H: l5 r8 u
& Y$ \% M3 _9 C: m# d, ?6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- a1 N* |! ], l& S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, i# d) A2 ?' t5 S) {
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* y( e+ _4 H# J2 l' s6 O: emore construction starts everyday.: a+ ?% J$ e, E2 h
2 ?/ M# K4 c% S0 b" d4 K 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,1 r- F' ^2 r! H7 q+ y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 ?) B; T7 w7 Q+ h( i
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& C: B/ H# s, {
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- R: P# ?* E; S! ~( \( y* f
the same road.2 ^; z, z w# [4 E* ]% s. W
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 M# F! {, f/ c8 I) |; p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur) X9 D- W$ @: T- G- H" N" d( d% Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 e) P1 g- \" f% Q: L5 ?# R" X% qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& u3 Z$ K) j' s5 `- n
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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