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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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8 e# X& h$ z3 j8 d2 e) C8 } 1. Bring your own house.( I0 t& Q, `+ ^2 O/ D6 R: `
5 N; U' o$ |# d6 q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 V" C% G! d1 B# H# G$ H
hospital.9 s8 }! E6 p8 I) ?2 m( U6 Q3 D+ i! t5 k
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 D$ i8 v% A, B' J' n5 g# Scapital of Canada .
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3 ]- L2 X0 f: V% j 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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9 u+ P0 `. {& E# J- J/ P' m r. n3 u 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug7 |/ [' Z: Y! s! N9 M
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 z! h/ v+ d8 a" Q+ n; C
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( s& f- C0 D2 D# ?& F
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 U) y1 T) j5 j; z1 D2 Z4 r: M4 J- B
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas$ T5 i9 r: `" R# D8 T9 D
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' _% W* l9 a8 ~
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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4 s3 u7 x* N9 L" U" a! w+ i! m5 A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% Z- [$ Q7 _2 o- q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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+ a; @* \4 T( ]: w THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 X( k& |. l$ }$ q1 u2 X% k9 A
! s3 ~: D0 g; f) m2 K) X$ q; c. o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 Q2 S" w1 h& l" ~4 Z& W- J
0 }) \, A. K* U" f7 K2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour& w) A6 ]% H: }! n6 J/ c
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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. U! o- O% ^0 d! t3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 P! p! _( A. B$ L! M
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 J. L% k v* c0 r4 @7 b" Qmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
4 @: o4 D& R% ~- fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 ~2 u1 y8 t ~4 ]
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 B' o0 z5 ~# Y# O+ s. ]4 g' Y
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' u' v' _ o# ~" \$ l* ^cussed out, and possibly shot.
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* N+ F! ^; c# X5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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8 S! j/ W; Y( ]# J6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour/ z8 s7 I5 Y" [! q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 v! w/ y8 i. v: j+ N# N3 l8 J: w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. s1 z* p+ D/ x0 g! y! c+ o* smore construction starts everyday.
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W4 x* }( U8 q- _0 E 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- U( U) ]6 i3 x( z. q( J. gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, w( j/ C8 f6 Y) ^% y6 t; C2 J8 S
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; U' o" n& O9 g/ U( C- w
the same road.
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$ B4 m& I2 p# K8 A2 D. G$ Y1 L+ ?9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 ?9 u- S( s/ }' i9 `0 s5 ^shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km0 i% G' Q$ ` q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"; H8 O( t, Z- f/ _1 {' P
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 o- A! L. Q6 u% G# d9 M& Y
0 `4 r& r- o0 f4 ^6 J; n0 }8 U11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& n w$ F% p- b7 t- Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 f7 @% m- y& w- ]% \8 m# O! }9 vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 B2 m/ J6 i( P% X/ t" ]& j7 }
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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