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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1 u( i* m+ f2 i1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 1 ?4 F) [" z& r9 @
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
6 R; X; ` v& o3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
5 U9 m: L1 X0 J% p; c4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. , q4 }8 n/ W1 r( P/ A1 I
5. Weed + ^* W2 `4 |% m& B& W. G; s
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 0 C6 i3 ~" G% j- g' h
2 {# z6 m! I9 S9 u4 u' N1. Big rock between you and B.C. % `3 R/ t, ?3 w, s& l* d
2. Ottawa who?
, E4 h- p* }% k3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ! o* J" C$ v' V
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ) p: r- P0 I2 `1 A; G* U! |7 w
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
8 M- j' F! h0 o' Q; ?6 F6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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- L9 ~# x7 z7 t6 uTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat. ) ?# S" Y; ~! t: T) K) }, ~
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
5 q8 T6 Z/ |: q) O; k3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 6 \; b/ M$ {# [, a( `3 o2 `
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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4 U! h9 ~2 p( ]. @! a8 q" @2 j1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. / {0 Z: b. M' Y, p! Z& H
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
& q( |( K5 L# G N3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
! z2 |/ |9 d# _- ], {9 u/ S t, L4 U& X4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. ; Z1 K8 F6 e9 J" h* p
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. * o+ _+ b& [4 N" A2 ?7 {
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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" E7 y! ?4 @7 g9 _. u, I1. You live in the centre of the universe.
% W ~5 K* l5 \* J! J ?& N2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. & w$ G* t; p: J4 [
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. + @. W ^0 ?2 h/ G
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. / n8 e- ^- L T
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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6 k# g% ^' k4 s& N- I, E1. Racism is socially acceptable
( y; T; b; ?% }3 E" ^, c$ n2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
% B# f: h: C% l0 H: ~! s3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
. q9 D# j1 R) c$ _! f4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
7 M" ?1 a4 x' E4 @. o3 _/ nTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK # F, W. {% ~& s3 ^5 z/ c
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 7 K! ]6 R, P j( a! {6 m
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
* Q' P- O" K. A: `2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
) `2 N6 C9 Q7 t7 T. s7 R1 o3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
/ X; Y# c0 G! C# w: y# W4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA " ~& Z5 Y3 D# s
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1 X% [2 ~: A" _: r1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
4 W- \% }+ g7 f9 j. l2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
* D; o; P9 N& b6 l& M5 I3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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. y% c8 ?" A5 t, v7 I" H* pTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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7 J/ L0 {$ K3 A* `; [- Q& g1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. ( L6 l- J' [+ Q/ x3 [$ }# [
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
0 l- N! f" j0 i3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
e' }6 F4 t, {' U4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
0 A; o+ p& H, Y) B5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
: O; D' w- O8 [3 T; w* X! ^- T3 [" ?6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 4 ?: s3 `* I' l; U6 t$ G' D
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p' r( q- D, U s4 ETOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND ) O. ~0 m% u8 M/ h' L, Y
8 G0 P( _' c6 \& v5 Z" U1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
' P9 E6 s! A# E+ a% a( ~$ L2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
0 P9 q4 N% B2 a# s* `+ B3. The workday is about two hours long.
) Q+ q7 [: W4 t, I, Z4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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