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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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+ g6 O5 u) y7 m/ ~& Y1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. ' p% ?6 ^8 F4 B+ L1 e, \$ u5 ? Y
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
) w5 P/ z+ L2 P& m+ k; l. `1 u3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 2 A, u! h J" l" {# T u& W
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 3 \7 ]& ~% p) g0 I
' d4 ~" D( E( V: q1. Big rock between you and B.C. $ D. O6 z) L8 F1 l
2. Ottawa who?' {9 F. y* ^# O" G w
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 7 S$ Q1 @8 n% P
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 7 g1 q' Z$ ^5 K/ [- w
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
3 }! t6 J" V b$ p' R( c; a9 b8 f6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN g2 q; [1 I! [7 E4 q- X d4 M
! i) a1 D+ f9 K- Z0 D7 |1. You never run out of wheat. 2 [$ L% Z! J0 z3 i, S9 J
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
. n) H! N3 y2 q- R2 k$ t5 q$ J; F3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
/ ?; @6 D* a0 P6 |# Y) {. Y4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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' T% i+ w' D0 _, T8 ^* wTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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9 W, I% a( L" m2 J& v1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. $ I8 N! S3 y. R
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
9 i; Z. R9 ]- K8 G- Q3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4 D5 ]& K M' w0 h# `. a4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
8 |% l8 m' `+ X& t9 A+ j5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 6 l2 P. q# N* @' ]; Y
# p" E2 ~% H% U5 Z7 R1. You live in the centre of the universe.
7 @( K8 F2 d6 r8 U' U2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 2 o! U1 s3 W% Y" r7 M7 a6 z
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
# l4 u0 e8 r$ S( I# y4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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: [ N" U% G% \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 5 x6 x) k$ s' h" d8 Y! j0 n
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
/ i. O5 @4 a# K7 P2 E6 ~2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. + h2 \) p; `; I" K" j
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
3 a6 _5 n4 a" s) M4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
" G( K( Q U' J+ eTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 7 |/ |% {9 A: S/ r8 m! n2 h9 ^* z
3 w1 O! F$ q3 w/ {& x7 RTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ( r; o! I0 ?' u4 N; P
, J0 G- U7 a; s6 q1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
9 Q& g- H( F. }8 A: U M# S2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 7 \& y. j; V2 f% `+ f h& R2 A
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick " X; s9 W! _6 [$ Y
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. * L4 U8 J' X4 j* n4 R+ K
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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; }1 n. _$ P5 P) P) {. D" B1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
3 w! I+ A; K& w m9 f2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
- h) \. U# m7 g# `3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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$ ]% `* K1 L7 [& H) \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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+ K1 u& w) I$ {8 ?6 A1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. % N8 y4 d% A$ D- c* w2 _
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ; e9 D R6 P& L% b- Y2 B
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 3 |* C, b* e6 H9 y9 O0 D! f
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
$ f0 Z$ T- a, \4 K& V E5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. " B/ A6 l, d8 `& a1 s
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. e' P2 O+ v+ {2 P( L* v0 g
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: m" }) `% o* f) Y3 p. yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 2 f7 B, r* D4 Q3 _% t9 Z
3 E! ^1 P1 `# j- u5 C7 f+ t! d1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. 8 W9 F+ h4 l) r/ c
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 9 y* `, E2 r7 Z6 V# [" s
3. The workday is about two hours long. 0 L# j. _) J3 w4 @4 p9 b
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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