 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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本帖最后由 三思 于 2011-4-16 09:04 编辑 / y) g& t9 t6 t, s! D8 a
幼儿园还要再给他像你说的这样办一遍的,和家长弄是不矛盾的,美好记忆完全可以更多一点,没有必要限制,只要精力和财力允许,完全可以办生日会,生日会怎么算也算不着不好的风气4 k9 }4 a) O( {8 ~. |
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娃是很知道party的special的, ...; ? e2 a* F( U* Q7 M( ^5 K( d; V
sweetlele 发表于 2011-4-15 22:43 
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7 h/ E1 v/ W4 o我认为大型生日会是不良风气,因为一部分有精力财力的家庭给没有精力财力的家庭造成了压力,父母因为担心孩子因此受到压力,而不得不举办同样形式的生日会。而这种形式并没有赋予生日会特别的意义。比如乐乐你设定的20元礼物符合标准,一个月9个生日,180元礼品预算,承受不起的家庭,是不是就没有能力让自己孩子参加朋友的生日会这样的社交活动?
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' u: G c; D1 s! D我家的财力精力大概不能和乐乐家比,但是我觉得给小孩子的生日大肆刷卡不是一件值得提倡的事情,有悖我的教育观念。
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7 B6 j5 K! P1 G2 B# j! l _另外,我搜了一下,中外对小孩子生日会都有反对声音。这个网站特别好,http://birthdayswithoutpressure.org/专门讲生日会的,为什么当前的生日会是不良风气,有比我更多更好的解释和说明。其中也提到了乐乐你说的学校办一遍家长办一遍的问题,提到了孩子要赶很多生日会的问题。% z, ?4 F! ~0 }6 |
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对孩子的不良影响也有非常详细的列举
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3 e* n* R! ?& Q% ^6 x; k6 m& HFor Kids: 0 E/ ?" m9 t- Z" p" [7 V5 i5 n
Not all children face each of these consequences, but enough children experience them to give us worry.
8 ^8 l) ^ ?# _/ } F! DThey get stressed out from parties that are too large and too orchestrated.
" k! u4 i& g: O+ o, f5 p They are overindulged by too many presents. 3 T3 r( ^+ C* m( \* J' e4 K
They feel entitled to what they want, not just what they need.
: |/ X5 m2 n( y" f1 i' P8 s/ [They feel envious of friends who get more—and someone will always get more.5 l* o+ Y: ?" J: \7 L3 l
They feel disappointed, because enough is never enough. _# k. H! ]9 N, i. X
Long term, they develop materialistic values that equate personal celebrations with accumulating things.
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For Parents:
; e$ i3 V: C$ Q P ESome parents say they are happy with birthday parties that drive other parents up the wall. But we have talked to many parents who report these consequences.
2 \0 p/ z. g) MThey feel pressured to “make” their child “happy” by meeting escalating community standards for parties. & y1 ~0 y, g; W$ }3 T
They feel guilty if the party was below community standards that they don’t really agree with.
3 Z8 G1 V1 T O! w: OThey feel overloaded with TOO MUCH STUFF, which they have to manage, organize, and clean up.; F+ ^9 B% J0 K3 _
They feel an energy drain from planning, shopping, preparing, and hosting the party.
' J6 \+ ?& y2 u$ C6 }8 \+ ~They feel regret or resentment afterwards when their child, or others, is not appreciative enough—“Why did I extend myself so much?”
5 H5 I6 S. j! [9 W9 ~3 ZThey run up debt from their own parties and from buying gifts for other parties.
, c) t. b, o1 H: o" mThey experience couple strife when parents do not agree on how big to make the party and how to carry it off. K2 O2 x# X4 J% j6 ]9 S
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% c/ Y, x% T) r6 q% MFor the Community and Culture: ' L3 }' |3 R8 b* G, O
This issue is bigger than individual families. Personal decisions affect the wider world. Out of control birthday parties contribute to:
: q7 \: n; o+ t* c# VA too much stuff culture , d5 u" { J2 N! W0 ?
A me first culture# l! K% a S3 J! ^, w. q7 U% S; v
A trash and waste culture v- P. y3 Y V- V& j
An entitlement culture
}, C5 A" {# x' XA envy culture1 D& W6 h' C: V5 r' y8 x
A more of everything culture |
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