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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
4 v8 {% C+ H8 }2 ^4 c0 z- j- K! s% \- h" ^/ I6 v* P
In the garden of my heart
8 d# ~1 V1 h; g+ U& B* I# B. O% e, b) aYou planted a tree
( `4 k4 l, o) BFrom sunset til dawn; z& N3 T) q. q1 g3 z. E9 {) `
Through darkness to light
) ]& v3 f# x6 |  J5 |7 O) t; JNourished with my soul% T$ R, n; U1 s2 X& R+ ]0 F0 {& {
Devoured my sorrow by thee! o5 R) U9 g: N" O$ Y
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In the memory of my life
; V4 y0 r2 Z# y) b5 c& y" D! [You planted a dream- {' n" e  j3 E+ o7 V3 {
Should the sky fall down on me% Z9 i9 Y: v; B& q
May promises fade in the sea
- @- p: C  n2 h  N( ^. F. S8 [Sewing back every broken pieces! R# E: m; T+ r) B4 r( f% O  d
Bursting the love out of me. [, U: @$ Z$ c: m( u; s

& @0 k0 a/ I! [  L1 D[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
1 D, H7 O0 n  B* C* `" K听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!' n' ]# C8 S+ _' T  `/ d, X; c' g

" _, t; z: a6 n1 q. HIn the garden of my heart
5 N# k9 J! ?1 ^5 q+ g2 M9 w0 C) pYou planted a tree
* x2 i0 o8 _1 F( c$ D' ^From sunset til dawn
) L0 I! c4 `. w" x5 R: q- bThrough darkness to light  m! p& [" [  [! b3 A, @' ]/ ^3 \) L
Nourished with my soul
! w- M* M6 R' h) iDevoured my so ...

: M; G6 X! X. D! U" ]; U, y$ r7 E5 i8 E9 H( P
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
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写得真好。- {2 D! x- n( {  k
- R* t5 R  U& @" c) _
加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
大型搬家
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表( P1 c1 g4 N6 c; _
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?6 W2 Q- P5 f' M/ ^
写得真好。3 [8 m( O9 j8 p; N# t7 X! V
加精加精!
( w5 @3 Y. C8 M* m
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
3 a+ M. J7 U$ M; ^: X如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
( C4 n) R/ T0 v
五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.: S& p% H" c" F; I. \2 ]- Z
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Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表' ^( {+ O) C4 P) i5 H/ Q9 ^1 o
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.% e7 ?9 v& S& `% e6 m$ H
& y8 _% {5 E7 d. s
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
. W% b( S2 n+ U& L

2 Y9 q0 r) X' z; W' uThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
+ w3 Q$ \3 D( q  v: k) y5 w, o0 W" K/ P/ b% Y7 W
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".: T. a1 v- Q' R

+ `) M; g& N. K$ E/ ^$ y2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
大型搬家
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。, Y: j3 h) g* n! L2 P7 |3 E

' ~6 G& b3 M4 }8 u0 K: ?7 kShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表; m' `3 O% z9 t/ U4 j: l5 p3 x
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
7 S9 x; {1 f: w. c; T! L( r+ T' l# ?7 U5 n6 {. j* Q4 s
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表1 B- D/ Y3 k8 u2 d
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。% ^4 H1 |! w, m9 o, S+ \
5 E# S- P9 o' U- Q# Y4 I
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
% i. H8 f* j  s! d9 q4 b2 @  A; \
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有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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: r# t3 k3 n& @% a9 I9 @( NDon't weep at my grave
7 M1 H. j1 C3 M% [& v4 n& zFor I am not there,
9 s5 L8 _  Z, U* Y+ BI've a date with a butterfly
7 ~% M2 X5 s2 q! @; {& v3 jTo dance on the air.
; W: f6 d; j: R+ a3 ZIf I'm missed, find a flower,
' U& z: q& d: \! i( ]I'll be there too,, P5 K8 Z, x9 U+ p: K
Sniffing it's fragrance3 y/ ]. \0 J3 ^5 G" J
Right next to you.6 D* s+ |% f7 j2 G4 W% t1 w0 X* Z
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Don't be sad
% d$ `* X9 T5 v3 q: X7 F* xWhen you remember me,( R- ?0 c4 y+ ?& g0 m" D' g& j
For I'm singing in the sunshine,2 o* D) W; j9 o& a8 c5 h8 X
Wild and free,4 D+ k( N, L0 y& Q+ W/ v6 D
Flirting with the lighting,
: P# k4 ?) k4 TPlaying tag with the wind,1 Z5 L! [& v* a7 H4 E( A! c4 Y( ~
Chasing the thunder- X) m/ ]7 p9 j. h& [! _0 I: C
Time and again,5 @0 n9 N6 Z% ^: m
Soaring with the eagle,
" R2 M% u0 y$ W% c7 r9 TSwimming in the sea,5 i2 Z* M- N# k% E5 y- ?5 P
Enjoying all of nature
( Q* e% m$ }# p2 k* F# I0 t8 hWhile I'm waiting for thee.
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