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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew7 {% {/ Z+ H' a
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he3 h0 ~9 C# u5 [9 M( b
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
# Q: [0 `4 ^3 R4 V4 _  H; W# m7 gbrowsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked  R% q5 K: h$ b3 P3 f' h6 ?
if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,
5 F( D$ x8 h2 |& U$ m, C5 F8 z$ X2 qI don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,' i! d. h, @" S9 U' ~
except... ahhh... never mind."
* D( C  _; j3 v( g4 W( B% t! v- Z
    "Except what?" the man asked.
+ F3 f2 Y: D2 x    "Nothing, nothing."
! h. b, j/ o& s    "C'mon, tell me!"
, Z# t; R: e7 }5 {8 }# W    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."- ]/ ~  g6 q# B4 K
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
% u- L2 |! v, e- N# O    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."
1 F: \  {" w' j2 x So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
* l: d9 n: N, icarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very# v2 ^, z3 k, m
ordinary-looking black dildo.
0 q; d1 Y: I( s! [8 f) R    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"8 Y. [: k) \5 B

% \0 y: Z. U3 d* Y: ]- S! i8 f    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old" Z' g5 h6 B) \7 T
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
! a* |* h/ L, G& t VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
- j& F. m* ~* r0 ~9 Oscrewing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
7 g1 }5 ^1 w8 g7 E% ^( jdeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,- K8 E4 x$ i7 _
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to4 q8 c, o" x0 K, t
the box and lay there, quiet once again.
" w  q, q; D- ~1 Z- n. r% a/ R. F2 x9 `5 f- r
    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
. t3 j" c8 Q. h7 R/ }$ p+ e$ Xwasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took7 u% H# p, j( g- j) r: T
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
/ H) m" ^  Y  Bshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip
3 K% @! P! |; t( y7 I. ^- esatisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.7 P* T/ _/ O8 G( @7 b

- [! ^5 V7 L2 n, ^2 u* L    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She% q7 e) l& }1 h5 V) e
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
! F- R9 R7 g. E5 C$ z, |remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,! X+ x- t9 l3 B" v+ j, J0 K+ y
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was4 D' r4 {2 R; {. L+ J4 m" a
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she 6 d3 c1 g% j' o8 ~
decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her
+ W4 ^0 T+ d* ?2 v( Uhusband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!7 h# L: d% T7 S) @1 k- N( ?9 j
5 l' t7 Q  W. y1 b
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
& j) G& C8 Z) ^# S6 G  bto get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick- f! s3 S8 t$ Z8 B+ G% p
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.4 v- v) L# Q/ m9 a& e( f, x
  ]% |, @7 ?, {3 @
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive! H& _9 c( b$ |7 C+ n# k
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
. D7 j2 N. y' P! `' etraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next5 Q) a7 ~6 S' O7 t% w
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
8 Y5 d- ~7 b' n( `! g' B& sflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
. S' @" c6 O* w7 ], O  a+ Nmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
* O1 Z2 C5 _0 K% ^hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
% n* u% C  H# |; e* T4 K- p  V) p6 f6 l8 j4 z# q
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
' P3 J$ u, ~* k7 K+ N6 flady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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