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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew
+ X+ I7 r( L' u5 w* c  xhis wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he8 K% p% _; {' k$ {: J9 \
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he. H) j/ A! y5 v( R: T0 U
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
  U$ F* ^' D4 n9 q+ p; a5 N9 u+ X) [if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,- V! U8 K7 E9 I& Q
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks," N8 R3 ?, B# g6 _( I& z) X( U7 U
except... ahhh... never mind."* Q( k9 J3 I5 H. k5 |* `
) E2 @2 n4 w' p+ `3 T- X) _/ {
    "Except what?" the man asked.
# O; ]& i2 `- `0 W/ M7 }, ~- k    "Nothing, nothing."7 k) w% c+ V# E2 s: C/ f8 Y( r- \
    "C'mon, tell me!", o/ ~( B: H) d% m) i9 G
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
! J; r; h# r* Q; S: X% Z! D5 e' L    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
. m# F1 A8 i. Y" d4 k    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."
' A" f1 D5 P8 {; ] So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
2 c, ^" z% e3 c+ scarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very* R2 ~: u  ^: n' U! x
ordinary-looking black dildo.( a# `8 `7 [/ I& g0 q' c
    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
6 u8 D) U! B/ l$ X, A- L4 R5 ]* v& M/ l7 {3 b( w
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old
# Y, p! \, L, vman pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
+ F0 `# Q: K6 N! ^' ~) K2 I' G VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started! [- x4 v0 @: V% K/ A1 w2 }+ s
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
! o7 i) A4 x0 F8 X1 Y, E; Ydeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,/ `8 e' i3 [. ?* h7 P8 x. V3 {
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to
; R; q" L# P2 _5 hthe box and lay there, quiet once again.  J8 q0 a* `/ o( n% O

( u/ O2 h' a; D7 O    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
. j: Q, J- S9 zwasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took
5 F3 N1 C7 }7 r0 `1 Zit home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all 9 g# ^4 ^" U& ?* r7 z
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip4 A' F' O7 P* O
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.! g# j" M+ M2 Z0 G+ }! }

1 o8 a5 y0 x" W1 Y) Y; |3 T( s% b    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She
( ^* l( e" o  K# p+ G, F' Zthought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she( E3 [  G' J  d( b9 Q' e$ J
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
& f8 B; U( r( u1 N% s) n8 i"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was3 k. l9 B" P. H& i! @
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she ) w' ]2 Q* b$ M9 ]5 a2 m, K
decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her' W; r* f& y# Y- N
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!4 [3 Z9 Z$ B, ?0 e+ b
& p' Z: Z2 Z" o. \2 t0 @
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried9 d: M) Z( d2 h1 D( i% @7 @
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
9 V- B; @# k) ^$ t6 G* `7 D5 Ujust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.2 L( W8 {+ a4 k8 a0 r& q% d

  Q' T- _5 F/ d: k. X    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive( q8 y4 B8 h6 [6 q# ?% z
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
3 K- G) @% s/ [# t# `2 Ptraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next  `+ l7 O' E) [4 C7 v
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights+ p) b0 F& Y4 Q: x0 B* G
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
, _1 _/ Z. {2 _much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she6 T, @& ]. R1 r% y; w
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
9 q0 {- o1 |, t/ _& m9 }% `# W+ d1 o& s+ M/ s
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right; n+ {  D) ?: D8 s- o
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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