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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew5 `2 T/ |* ?+ E. u1 r+ v5 \
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he
) Z. Z7 y6 `+ {: S; |7 d, vdecided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
* v* C: m' a) d6 i4 Nbrowsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
: @8 W- c$ k3 Q( Nif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,1 S0 ~' u. v0 x0 T. D, U: g' q" x
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,0 w2 p8 l+ {7 K" G0 x  t) q
except... ahhh... never mind."
+ z* h. ^4 R8 j
+ \8 [+ U9 k7 c. j7 B( M) A) l    "Except what?" the man asked.
  `5 p3 a" A  P# Z/ ^    "Nothing, nothing."
( t" ?8 P9 e7 |% {/ m4 m8 i' R    "C'mon, tell me!"! ?7 m3 B5 ~  i- I6 L5 e
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
3 |- k1 t" C+ ^: j7 O    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
( \3 b& m1 h( n& M% a    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."% M, l, O' Q& W/ M. y  t0 `2 R
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
7 d9 {6 b& e. {& C( l% L( Vcarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very6 M" v+ z: R. C
ordinary-looking black dildo.
" l% [+ E  Q- j* i    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"# \. R0 |1 k7 B. B$ D2 \

# L6 a" e! \. Z9 ^    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old# f9 Q4 W+ q7 V8 E* `9 F  X
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."; X" E7 `8 B8 }- L
VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
1 s( V. F4 V4 ^4 {9 mscrewing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
& ?+ ?: f5 J" m' Y) Q# Sdeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
0 Q0 ^8 J2 O4 I! A& ^"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to& O7 c+ N: E3 t- n
the box and lay there, quiet once again.
# V# W4 Z, N% u  X& |7 }- o; g) K% N6 \& g" ?
    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it$ ^8 ^+ @  K' u. K) P
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took' S7 g! Q. `0 p8 F) ?1 t
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
2 R+ O( ]6 p$ F* ishe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip1 T3 d0 i5 {. ]( s
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.+ W+ X! z% J% @( \1 t
0 g! G) z. y4 X/ d
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She
6 w$ S; e2 n0 t) Z, f1 k% Kthought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she  C0 B- I% y' `; h/ d  A
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,& W9 d0 @$ P6 [% C+ ^6 }
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was
/ M! Q, R) b9 s" U$ D* pgreat, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
0 I0 J2 m  Y* Q. B. F, l2 gdecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her& @4 _- R* ^8 @* t6 u
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
$ V$ r; K; c3 k7 @  U& }' Z0 s$ Q9 m0 p0 s) a$ O
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried0 u/ A# A4 z' _' a4 t9 Y
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick2 _+ X$ v: K8 ~& K% U- m$ Q/ J
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.
: C% @# K+ x  E+ y. h+ O, w# Q0 U- O- R$ V
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
1 f" R/ {- |' Y# |to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming4 h8 G* ~. M! O* o; ?5 q
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next/ ]( `- N6 B* ^, D' X% b
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights+ v4 Q: j: A% \  o
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how  @4 p& F1 Y" i2 r
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
6 P5 i, W0 R! S) Qhadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
1 N/ l# p" u. A7 `5 t, l- F
7 Z6 E3 i; e; X9 g) C3 ?% f    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
% r: A- c8 \4 ^/ v3 m' alady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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