 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!$ d$ ^6 ^( _* b: ]5 H
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写 l& E; Q# Y; Z
0 V: S4 a# e: B2 [7 U; Y: Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
' g6 r& |+ l4 ?$ \% d" n1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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; i' n T: b& ]3 Y1 P1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it9 _3 w$ p7 H0 a K* K* }: a( J
down.9 v1 u, W' u6 G, o" f2 J
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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- w$ S* A5 m1 Lleaving it down.
" k! p& G5 I4 G' Q5 x9 q, ^1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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5 Z- f$ R- _& K/ s5 I! Q6 ] r5 V5 w* U1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
+ @ w& `" R z) Q! yLet it be.
5 f$ K% n! j9 r" @7 A! `1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
& w5 g* q' ]7 Q1 qthat way.0 x# O8 J+ `5 O) t
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!/ j0 T( L/ q: P, J
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1. Crying is blackmail.3 l" @' n3 |" X: r0 @2 P" K
1,哭泣是敲诈
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- ~( K( o9 _0 q6 S" g1 V1. Ask for what you want.; W& k8 i$ z u3 m- e. |! a
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
8 O! g& Q; H! g. p0 m* M" nStrong hints do not work!, X; D" Y' P4 i& T, D- ^
Obvious hints do not work!
! X# s8 ? x0 E8 @$ I/ n7 ^0 DJust say it!8 ~9 R* A6 J; X5 H( c$ y! Q7 a" W4 n
1,你想要什么就说
% z' `( c8 p: z1 i我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!6 P/ S6 W4 p; m W1 A& W8 A9 m
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every % ]4 K$ {+ M3 Q/ Q1 l
question.3 b& G/ g. P8 b8 l
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意): a8 [7 g! i. I# I+ _3 C7 A; w
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
8 m3 }3 B3 c7 nwhat we do.
% C) t5 E @% \3 c& ESympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
& Z, A+ f' p. g% k J/ T1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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( f# c6 Q9 V t2 r/ Q8 M1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
4 D1 t: j0 \1 A1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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8 \6 Z6 ?5 R0 U y% o* B% c( K1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
0 a+ n' H4 t! A7 HIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.; R1 s1 A: F7 K4 f' o' V4 N$ H1 R
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了# p: S1 ?% W0 ]
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us, _; Q, D0 l# Y. [# l+ j" \* d9 \ Y
to act like soap opera guys.' P( X. \% ?/ h$ L3 m
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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2 H [6 M9 |% G3 E" _( z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.. R' h: v% O" h1 u9 G2 O
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们$ H, m" q' a5 s: M! {
1 A2 |, P: P' \1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways' B/ y+ ~: m6 o1 {. n& Z4 r; |* i
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. ^7 O$ U7 J( T# R
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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2 \. W* r+ e5 G! c- ~* m(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)2 ?5 D! `0 @1 p- X8 H) R
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
# Q5 @8 t6 C" S$ x+ {done. Not both." M( q2 D8 J2 @8 w/ ~
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself." W( B( ^% }4 d; F( h v
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during2 u; O- |$ b. l5 a5 Q, }- B9 F
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.# T: p& x) O# V3 W- m
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
( O$ [5 S; s* w7 o7 ?- dPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
; m: U5 w. Q' w4 ]% zWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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: g" a( ~; q C: D6 C1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, y0 v! W$ R S& x1 B' ~* g2 V
nothing's wrong., B b) b8 s, L4 B# S% X
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer6 _ \+ n1 ?5 W2 Q9 l* i
you don't want to hear.& w/ y4 l5 _" k' F; f
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is1 k8 ?5 H2 B2 M/ n3 C8 a) j0 f
fine...Really.
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0 X' P+ _' }" @) F8 T [1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
- t7 V; E V5 |- Z- `discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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$ V0 [2 v8 H, T0 p+ Y' w* H$ j+ K( U1. You have enough clothes.; y( R& W. e5 @# E1 K
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1. You have too many shoes.
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& B: ?: e8 y- a0 C M. ^9 l9 F, M1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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) X4 i1 J& i! e/ M1 }5 z1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;. Y1 i% ^/ d5 Y5 `4 b7 W
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.+ T" }5 B. C$ y J2 V. {
7 q8 j6 W# ^& E' Q. xPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 ~7 M; ^' h: X5 }3 IPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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