 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
4 n& q" y& a+ [7 L; _请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写1 I ?; O4 V! D0 l! I9 n
5 z- X9 F5 b- m7 i9 V% w; `6 R* Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1 j, V6 K' P8 h7 `% z6 s1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫: x w c& o% k. n5 Y3 h9 [
% J6 U5 w, k- N1 y2 k1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
& ~% s0 d* _4 U* _( Q/ Wdown.& ~$ G* g0 K; w1 Q
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 2 w+ x5 u# @) l% [
you9 B7 ^% J2 i/ `1 \
leaving it down.
: h( t- h0 v1 V$ z0 N1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
2 G% {! c. W/ i4 B, aLet it be.
" i: a/ h! o$ z1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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- B" t* Q8 X$ _5 e1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it* `4 x3 z2 {/ F- Z" B8 ^0 G8 \
that way.
' f6 A3 y. d( G" l1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.; _8 r+ H5 T j$ X6 A3 q. R2 }
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want. r1 ]' ^" R6 H4 Q2 H6 b
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
8 e7 J7 [7 a, L5 n$ E w- j% z) iStrong hints do not work!: q. i, g3 H& j2 z8 Y# [4 T L) m5 t
Obvious hints do not work!9 W6 B% o* j. i* d9 M7 K5 m2 ?1 r) s
Just say it!& M! L& F( d8 d1 }
1,你想要什么就说
8 X! C% ?! w" M, B/ F5 L7 h我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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% c0 G& b* g3 v- i( f/ D1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ) [- j; G0 s- h K* ~8 u
question.# x( S% z& K% Z# H5 h
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's8 ~9 ]+ v' a' Q
what we do.) N" ?5 h% c9 e: m5 y! d; O6 O9 K
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
0 E* i7 O4 q }, {1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。9 N! h0 @7 H. z8 c$ B
: K3 @9 D9 H7 R0 u1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
' A$ G. _, w1 S& P) e5 M1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去& F& T `2 v/ T* {
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
7 f+ E8 A/ f! r/ E. I2 |, ?: dIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 S2 K t9 J* ?3 j' Z我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了! r- T+ G8 m! U% m7 U. {0 i
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us% W5 |! L/ `7 E( a, ]# W% t# t
to act like soap opera guys.
( y9 W) T& p' f$ x1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们0 O9 Z/ |8 B3 n$ A9 P4 T
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
c, ^+ |( N; k7 _1 _; J1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways$ i& }7 ~/ i7 ?' R
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
3 U6 N' o i/ x* {1 `5 w1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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: U! c) u& V5 }& C6 e. o5 ](谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
1 w+ T" S$ \! Q$ o, m7 }1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
& B) O& z2 u4 u1 \; Ndone. Not both.
$ y7 y, `5 n/ V& [# ~If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.9 i( j' z, H/ {, r* V
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
4 Y. [& x+ n( e" W. @commercials.( O9 u/ _3 _8 u( o
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.; ?. S( M/ [. N) ^6 u/ r1 S
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.* A/ Z( j% T: [* m
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit." S9 g/ g( j, a4 \+ @6 s; x
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.7 L/ \- D; b2 c r; v
: L5 _: E. k$ h o, }* M$ V1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
4 D v3 X+ R- r# d5 R: @! Vnothing's wrong. e6 K- {0 j6 a/ f: x1 Z* i
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.+ }4 N5 x+ y0 w
; M* L* K6 Q9 I2 v+ b8 y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer! o5 r. f. `" @8 J- g
you don't want to hear. j1 g3 j2 B' l; X) [3 |
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is# ~% N f4 N2 X# x
fine...Really.& Z& D0 F. h0 \! e4 n% O
( U( m: B8 a: m2 k0 P1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
9 t4 a4 @/ k6 }3 }* P* Jdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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5 T2 @/ i" u: @" P# R7 h- C1. You have enough clothes.
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/ u* Q- ~& I( r# s7 o% g P1. You have too many shoes.
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3 ?: H0 H* @6 ?& \! M! K$ e1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!% V, x( c. H/ Q+ a. Q( [ r; C' B
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1. Thank you for reading this.1 S5 T1 i. L- D# a
{* s& \1 w7 E4 V, e5 @Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
, k- U% C8 {2 p! s; @. PBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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) | T0 l" u* O ?Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
. E6 s7 [6 W9 Y1 TPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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