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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!$ d$ ^6 ^( _* b: ]5 H
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写  l& E; Q# Y; Z

0 V: S4 a# e: B2 [7 U; Y: Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
' g6 r& |+ l4 ?$ \% d" n1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
2 |$ B& Q- V; I. @$ S
; i' n  T: b& ]3 Y1 P1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it9 _3 w$ p7 H0 a  K* K* }: a( J
down.9 v1 u, W' u6 G, o" f2 J
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
8 c% |2 P% T+ z( z3 vyou
- w$ S* A5 m1 Lleaving it down.
" k! p& G5 I4 G' Q5 x9 q, ^1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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5 Z- f$ R- _& K/ s5 I! Q6 ]  r5 V5 w* U1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
+ @  w& `" R  z) Q! yLet it be.
5 f$ K% n! j9 r" @7 A! `1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
& w5 g* q' ]7 Q1 qthat way.0 x# O8 J+ `5 O) t
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!/ j0 T( L/ q: P, J
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1. Crying is blackmail.3 l" @' n3 |" X: r0 @2 P" K
1,哭泣是敲诈
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- ~( K( o9 _0 q6 S" g1 V1. Ask for what you want.; W& k8 i$ z  u3 m- e. |! a
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
8 O! g& Q; H! g. p0 m* M" nStrong hints do not work!, X; D" Y' P4 i& T, D- ^
Obvious hints do not work!
! X# s8 ?  x0 E8 @$ I/ n7 ^0 DJust say it!8 ~9 R* A6 J; X5 H( c$ y! Q7 a" W4 n
1,你想要什么就说
% z' `( c8 p: z1 i我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!6 P/ S6 W4 p; m  W1 A& W8 A9 m
# B4 O! X5 j# l+ M' v
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every % ]4 K$ {+ M3 Q/ Q1 l
question.3 b& G/ g. P8 b8 l
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意): a8 [7 g! i. I# I+ _3 C7 A; w
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
8 m3 }3 B3 c7 nwhat we do.
% C) t5 E  @% \3 c& ESympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
& Z, A+ f' p. g% k  J/ T1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
- r& N& d' E& }
( f# c6 Q9 V  t2 r/ Q8 M1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
4 D1 t: j0 \1 A1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
1 T( A1 o; r$ y, D( o8 s, t& B7 h! C, Y
8 \6 Z6 ?5 R0 U  y% o* B% c( K1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
0 a+ n' H4 t! A7 HIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.; R1 s1 A: F7 K4 f' o' V4 N$ H1 R
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了# p: S1 ?% W0 ]
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us, _; Q, D0 l# Y. [# l+ j" \* d9 \  Y
to act like soap opera guys.' P( X. \% ?/ h$ L3 m
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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2 H  [6 M9 |% G3 E" _( z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.. R' h: v% O" h1 u9 G2 O
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们$ H, m" q' a5 s: M! {

1 A2 |, P: P' \1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways' B/ y+ ~: m6 o1 {. n& Z4 r; |* i
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.  ^7 O$ U7 J( T# R
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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2 \. W* r+ e5 G! c- ~* m(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)2 ?5 D! `0 @1 p- X8 H) R
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
# Q5 @8 t6 C" S$ x+ {done. Not both." M( q2 D8 J2 @8 w/ ~
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself." W( B( ^% }4 d; F( h  v
+ R) F0 m( c! Q
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during2 u; O- |$ b. l5 a5 Q, }- B9 F
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.# T: p& x) O# V3 W- m
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
( O$ [5 S; s* w7 o7 ?- dPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
; m: U5 w. Q' w4 ]% zWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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: g" a( ~; q  C: D6 C1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, y0 v! W$ R  S& x1 B' ~* g2 V
nothing's wrong., B  b) b8 s, L4 B# S% X
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer6 _  \+ n1 ?5 W2 Q9 l* i
you don't want to hear.& w/ y4 l5 _" k' F; f
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is1 k8 ?5 H2 B2 M/ n3 C8 a) j0 f
fine...Really.
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0 X' P+ _' }" @) F8 T  [1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
- t7 V; E  V5 |- Z- `discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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$ V0 [2 v8 H, T0 p+ Y' w* H$ j+ K( U1. You have enough clothes.; y( R& W. e5 @# E1 K
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1. You have too many shoes.
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& B: ?: e8 y- a0 C  M. ^9 l9 F, M1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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) X4 i1 J& i! e/ M1 }5 z1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;. Y1 i% ^/ d5 Y5 `4 b7 W
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.+ T" }5 B. C$ y  J2 V. {

7 q8 j6 W# ^& E' Q. xPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
7 ~7 M; ^' h: X5 }3 IPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。0 E" g; I9 r. \- w

% [7 p: r5 G! X* q9 V& m1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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2 M% A5 o+ f+ O" _1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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9 ?7 |7 d, Y9 R5 `( R1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.) Z( d5 z& e; ?* z
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!, F8 m$ i! o2 w: \
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.+ _/ x% q/ P8 N
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。  p" z3 P) @7 ~- H) Y

7 _, [" Y$ g5 [0 q0 i2 ?4 g, @+ C0 G' i  R/ n# h8 e
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
/ ^2 y" }9 [' f+ n如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。' C  F% o2 r! |7 I/ z

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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.4 ]! J4 \% i3 t- `
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。  O" e, D8 Z, L$ I
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
7 ]$ U$ K5 E* h7 e% X' h如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
) T2 l7 K: u, k( BALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
7 A3 j3 R4 @1 I8 c) w所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。# S7 x) n3 I7 s( h# P3 w
8 Y- q) d, w) F; _( _
这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置5 ^1 W  w0 c$ a) H4 b8 N/ }
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
9 n. ]3 s( Q- W1 H) `  P* O7 l如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你3 m$ k) E! t! [* l8 g! P- p
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.+ c1 }! v/ y6 {2 D& i/ \) Y
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。- R9 w, Z0 x+ @3 I8 @4 A5 U
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1. You have enough clothes.7 u) s3 }! H+ o
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
4 N8 s" r! `7 l/ h" E5 P9 l; [你的鞋子也太多了吧. V" d( I$ ^6 n  w$ v* ?
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!' D5 u5 L3 Q- b& h- J9 o
我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?* U( }: h. k3 {
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1. Thank you for reading this.7 \, J, e% X/ Y2 }9 s9 w/ ~
多谢你能看完这个- c# L; Z+ @; n$ `4 O% x
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.. `9 ~! \1 P6 E6 h
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:) L* o) H! B2 ^1 @$ y

9 s% J& V& F( N# ~/ d! |这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:( c* i& [- `0 U
1. You have enough clothes.& `! R) d1 C/ g+ W) k, N3 T
你的衣服足够多了# i: c4 U; \3 t# t

1 R8 H# U) O- a6 ]1. You have too many shoes." V& g0 a" ^/ Z9 W8 c
你的鞋子也太多了吧

4 m/ \7 f$ o  \$ \3 s& N7 f这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.  B* a( u0 G4 T% d, }
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!: k6 d" e+ l6 p' o0 h
Strong hints do not work!0 Z3 Q) J. l6 T
Obvious hints do not work!
: N% N: X7 T; h$ f$ UJust say it!
: J% d$ s% v. ?1,你想要什么就说: Q/ Z1 O+ E2 ~; a$ J
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
, b% ~- w4 s, u5 p1. Ask for what you want.) Z! H2 O! E; v; x  A
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
, k6 V& P: ?& e- C" HStrong hints do not work!* n3 ]8 n8 x3 {1 e+ S3 x
Obvious hints do not work!& ^2 V/ D9 _  j2 c' l0 M
Just say it!4 c8 _+ m- J# M
1,你想要什么就说
" i$ R  I4 T5 \- L; J我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
. j* A- {  P8 G被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿; n" N- C7 O) x' [$ f+ j

0 u  c. d% }6 thttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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* c2 q5 M0 d% @5 X, }3 M咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿3 G" s, ^0 a7 M. w, A# o% f  A
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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: U# _/ X1 A. E: p6 q& K9 l还想问问你的体会呢!
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体会?
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% [% ]* J$ a8 Y( W回答到那个帖子下面了
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