 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
, {) @' B+ L/ d请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
; m! E% \" S" C. m! N% N8 T3 W1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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' K5 S0 z/ ^! k% P1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
& w3 L/ n6 ?8 c4 E2 d3 ~down.
: M* X( u7 O! S. W4 Q2 GWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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; p* {7 k! h5 q" n3 [leaving it down.
. G& G, e" Q5 L. U1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?5 e" N T; D2 G
- {) |/ i( l/ e1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
: O1 V j, v4 b& d9 s# {; e- V8 BLet it be.
% b3 _* ]: o. f& j1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去1 `6 O [! g9 \# _
+ S! `' e1 b* {1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
; P. W+ O6 @2 L: D9 s. W0 H' rthat way.& V9 X3 J& f* Q! _6 z! U* ^
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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9 L( T6 G( x3 z5 i1. Crying is blackmail.
. ^; d2 T# L) p3 `* l1 v0 j1,哭泣是敲诈4 a; q# v J7 q0 r" [. M B9 l$ s
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1. Ask for what you want.
. i K$ a! S' `/ s5 `/ p! ~3 P5 _+ DLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
. h' K1 N* P7 K; ^% Y7 EStrong hints do not work!
- B/ ?7 i, z) v9 y4 H5 ?: L9 `6 mObvious hints do not work!, I0 o( D) c! ]1 z
Just say it!9 X& K: ~, f0 A0 w, N+ q! f
1,你想要什么就说
) P9 } M8 L! V2 N; M我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!1 M, t$ o6 r# D) E7 j
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every @5 E8 e; D9 }$ j+ z
question.4 ?+ B# i% F2 n
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
; n3 h3 ^& }, _6 `0 Twhat we do.9 l+ j8 U4 T8 C5 a
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.% }) Z" b( `! u$ A, _; s" P2 Q
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
) {& L. f& j: g5 w/ x1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去% H1 J- l: s/ `4 P9 \0 b5 A* t2 Q" s* e
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.3 F" R3 s8 f7 w( `' f2 B' L
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 s$ G5 w3 q/ W我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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; N% H. F: `* Z, f7 [& s6 U+ u& X" ?1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us Q+ _+ R3 P, ~9 c$ t
to act like soap opera guys.
+ v5 t f4 H# g* `1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们# a& [# o# G& G, R) V- ~
7 v; @( h- k ^/ g% U1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
9 i0 v) N5 j9 W. g& E& ~ w( s1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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& o1 J) G/ d/ s# j1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
3 x- e3 W* }+ D1 tmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. O: Y+ `9 O9 M) v2 ?
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。/ n8 W' K4 n t: G8 i& Y8 \3 r
: s( O4 q. O. v(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)" b. N- o( Y5 f- g
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
- N" e. u* o0 v+ G+ tdone. Not both.
! R( _9 ^0 w) w) W. j$ [# tIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.2 X0 N" |( T+ N: k3 N. {
+ a+ L0 x! C/ r2 Q* }, I1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during; X; A6 C" F8 k
commercials.' X2 K# ^9 K* c/ p' ?( d2 U
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.9 _( n7 k2 A/ h; u; j! E* v+ w, d% N
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
# j9 W, ~5 h5 t( G5 C9 |" [9 nWe have no idea what mauve is.) r9 f9 Y4 e3 m$ x2 q
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
) \3 h) `+ z* T/ M. y, D8 ~. |nothing's wrong.
& m8 f8 ?8 S: d; B# X" q+ T+ OWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.% X4 {$ p4 @. ~7 O
6 Y$ \7 O- A2 H! e6 }1 _' m7 I1 l1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer& ]( Z( H6 m/ Z5 `. D; {; X y
you don't want to hear.
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6 m. f( q: l7 v, D. Z" U8 [, n1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
( G6 Q9 ^2 U% Y! Q/ G6 y6 X) j+ q cfine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
, q$ w Z, h' c+ T# A! rdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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! x- V( O* o6 q! \2 h7 @1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.; A1 E2 v/ V0 A
) w2 m. x J% m+ g( Y1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this./ V% X0 |/ w r. c$ m. d3 ~
' E+ M0 E j5 qYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
4 b. G( B: U6 O9 sBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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. Z) T0 \% s1 x) bPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.& T) s+ d- w: A9 z) d9 X) W3 Z
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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