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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
4 n& q" y& a+ [7 L; _请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写1 I  ?; O4 V! D0 l! I9 n

5 z- X9 F5 b- m7 i9 V% w; `6 R* Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1 j, V6 K' P8 h7 `% z6 s1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫: x  w  c& o% k. n5 Y3 h9 [

% J6 U5 w, k- N1 y2 k1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
& ~% s0 d* _4 U* _( Q/ Wdown.& ~$ G* g0 K; w1 Q
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 2 w+ x5 u# @) l% [
you9 B7 ^% J2 i/ `1 \
leaving it down.
: h( t- h0 v1 V$ z0 N1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
2 G% {! c. W/ i4 B, aLet it be.
" i: a/ h! o$ z1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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- B" t* Q8 X$ _5 e1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it* `4 x3 z2 {/ F- Z" B8 ^0 G8 \
that way.
' f6 A3 y. d( G" l1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.; _8 r+ H5 T  j$ X6 A3 q. R2 }
1,哭泣是敲诈
( N# j: \  f$ [, Q3 F: Z* J0 @" J0 Q! I8 `* j+ g$ G; c9 i+ j
1. Ask for what you want.  r1 ]' ^" R6 H4 Q2 H6 b
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
8 e7 J7 [7 a, L5 n$ E  w- j% z) iStrong hints do not work!: q. i, g3 H& j2 z8 Y# [4 T  L) m5 t
Obvious hints do not work!9 W6 B% o* j. i* d9 M7 K5 m2 ?1 r) s
Just say it!& M! L& F( d8 d1 }
1,你想要什么就说
8 X! C% ?! w" M, B/ F5 L7 h我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
* c& N- {5 g3 p; [
% c0 G& b* g3 v- i( f/ D1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ) [- j; G0 s- h  K* ~8 u
question.# x( S% z& K% Z# H5 h
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
; l8 Y$ G1 v- h" I4 s! M! T3 P$ W3 }1 E( \+ R5 X5 H
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's8 ~9 ]+ v' a' Q
what we do.) N" ?5 h% c9 e: m5 y! d; O6 O9 K
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
0 E* i7 O4 q  }, {1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。9 N! h0 @7 H. z8 c$ B

: K3 @9 D9 H7 R0 u1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
' A$ G. _, w1 S& P) e5 M1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去& F& T  `2 v/ T* {
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
7 f+ E8 A/ f! r/ E. I2 |, ?: dIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 S2 K  t9 J* ?3 j' Z我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了! r- T+ G8 m! U% m7 U. {0 i
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us% W5 |! L/ `7 E( a, ]# W% t# t
to act like soap opera guys.
( y9 W) T& p' f$ x1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们0 O9 Z/ |8 B3 n$ A9 P4 T
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  c, ^+ |( N; k7 _1 _; J1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways$ i& }7 ~/ i7 ?' R
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
3 U6 N' o  i/ x* {1 `5 w1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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: U! c) u& V5 }& C6 e. o5 ](谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
1 w+ T" S$ \! Q$ o, m7 }1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
& B) O& z2 u4 u1 \; Ndone. Not both.
$ y7 y, `5 n/ V& [# ~If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.9 i( j' z, H/ {, r* V
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
4 Y. [& x+ n( e" W. @commercials.( O9 u/ _3 _8 u( o
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.; ?. S( M/ [. N) ^6 u/ r1 S
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.* A/ Z( j% T: [* m
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit." S9 g/ g( j, a4 \+ @6 s; x
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.7 L/ \- D; b2 c  r; v

: L5 _: E. k$ h  o, }* M$ V1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
4 D  v3 X+ R- r# d5 R: @! Vnothing's wrong.  e6 K- {0 j6 a/ f: x1 Z* i
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.+ }4 N5 x+ y0 w

; M* L* K6 Q9 I2 v+ b8 y1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer! o5 r. f. `" @8 J- g
you don't want to hear.  j1 g3 j2 B' l; X) [3 |
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is# ~% N  f4 N2 X# x
fine...Really.& Z& D0 F. h0 \! e4 n% O

( U( m: B8 a: m2 k0 P1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
9 t4 a4 @/ k6 }3 }* P* Jdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
+ m0 i" T9 j) k; l/ L. C- V( P
5 T2 @/ i" u: @" P# R7 h- C1. You have enough clothes.
* ^. m. s/ ]8 e$ q4 [
/ u* Q- ~& I( r# s7 o% g  P1. You have too many shoes.
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3 ?: H0 H* @6 ?& \! M! K$ e1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!% V, x( c. H/ Q+ a. Q( [  r; C' B
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1. Thank you for reading this.1 S5 T1 i. L- D# a

  {* s& \1 w7 E4 V, e5 @Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
, k- U% C8 {2 p! s; @. PBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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) |  T0 l" u* O  ?Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
. E6 s7 [6 W9 Y1 TPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。( [- m% v' ~0 k9 }

2 e* Q; G3 m5 _) [/ F1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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  _8 q' t  W, u0 _
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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4 c" x' U- j' Z1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.2 D' G. t1 x! Y% H
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
# }, \, s7 ^5 {1 D" `" O$ i所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
; P* {# D. m. t/ A2 D6 P  g* N如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。) I0 z  A# n& ^

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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
- z; i! k" T* M* r4 G2 O/ O如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。3 q; u* }" c+ `% ?! z( _+ Y* G6 m

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
$ H* F, J/ h% \, P5 V如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
# ]$ w2 D' N" n# q# k6 s5 xALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
" L8 z0 r. H+ c, V# a4 u* k所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。% o$ U% |: h1 D$ f- E( b# l! d& k
  e1 l) }, ]. D
这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置+ q% c. B5 R& ~$ R' v
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.) v6 a/ R3 X2 N2 x/ I7 n$ A
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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$ ~% n$ Y6 C, {3 }3 v9 C3 `+ y& t2 [. ?) p$ R) _* z  ^
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
# O5 A3 u! [" ~/ h不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
1 {$ J( X4 K3 y$ U
. t* J  P$ c3 a4 n1. You have enough clothes.. G6 M$ @' K( a! x0 v7 N; J
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.. f! x! C# N" S$ P. B& B( c/ w) ^
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
& c( f. R& e! Y, x1 j我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?. ?- D0 \( A) F" ?4 r5 T

* Q" H5 h" s3 N6 k! P( A1. Thank you for reading this.4 h  I- v! u5 G+ ?" u, T4 k
多谢你能看完这个
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping./ b7 [  ?; y& \3 F; ^, |0 _6 B" P
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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4 ?6 w, r# @$ \1 X0 I, A这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置, x" O3 l) T9 C& D/ g  x, C- j
6 R# K7 H1 x# e& X
还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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) m0 s' i, F4 |0 U0 C# K/ B应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿7 \% O# T% c7 g- p

- b1 E; F9 q: }8 n7 o7 S: M玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
- M& d# o0 N6 _' B$ B5 y1. You have enough clothes., y. V* d+ y  I  _4 w& i
你的衣服足够多了/ a1 T9 D  P  `9 ^: {+ G
, R: J$ |# u3 g' W3 ^, I/ @0 d
1. You have too many shoes.
+ Z8 Y# n# N: ^- C$ T: m你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?5 q' k  O3 I+ G6 A! R
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
2 ~' x  N. ?! i2 \1 g; DLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
$ c  j' [) m4 w1 O' u; V- qStrong hints do not work!
$ S! k0 H# {! G) i  rObvious hints do not work!' G/ H0 u( @* ^0 D0 Y! U
Just say it!
$ F/ R. Z$ ^; V& K1,你想要什么就说
. J" A, k2 |' `1 q9 E1 Q, x; Z我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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  }: W* Y( a1 ?$ u4 z' t. V! b关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
1 X9 |& z# R+ E( L& D+ {1. Ask for what you want.$ H8 v( B' a0 D! V5 c
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
# R- k+ x. @% \+ O' u, m5 dStrong hints do not work!# i9 H! n+ F  X$ ^; n2 r0 m
Obvious hints do not work!$ _" r2 e9 f; \( O5 g' a( l6 K
Just say it!# U4 r! g2 h. w4 \
1,你想要什么就说
' @  L1 j$ D- @" j我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

7 `! l  \  p5 a* s' S6 d; Z1 G! L( J
瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
0 H5 w7 S) g( c4 V6 \6 \( w, p被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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) C: N0 M9 a5 U! Z" }% g0 z; G0 d" t! D& m8 {3 F% F4 j% k# }* _
咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿1 ^8 a- ^0 ~* |2 z) {5 x# |; k6 B

/ B3 Q. o3 g9 ~3 ^& |http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
大型搬家
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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) C: Q& a: }$ g咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿/ g1 k& ]; ]% d5 R0 F
# \' x( z" K9 H3 B- w8 t
http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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2 [7 H) y) u( P3 _: [这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。3 ~8 e# g' b( @

* t6 u( C; B6 {* C+ [, y* q6 g) X还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:4 n: _9 a5 @& n+ V, U1 a7 g. ?

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。8 N* ]2 q1 ~9 j1 V5 ~

- l3 \* m! \5 K3 r还想问问你的体会呢!

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1 m' G; M# A9 ?3 E/ Y+ ]# J' k体会?0 k5 [& K: Y4 t0 v* [6 h
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