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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.* B. |: N3 u- o& v/ V; |, K
: u5 C+ a5 ^& B/ q) I+ j: x2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
, ]: B+ {, o; W3 k, [- O6 ?1 g2 bhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday: x; P) c$ g7 F$ B
morning.
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( j, @% X: L& A3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
5 }+ d( p, M) K; Z+ w1 Eyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
5 [" }; u2 q* s$ zlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.' S+ N! J2 ?; C0 A# I" [
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 {: d5 P8 E" J6 Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% X$ d1 H' g7 _& ?
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 F% D' Z( F: ]( [1 }. {
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
; o; X1 a1 K- Z& _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( \3 b4 `6 r6 B# Ncussed out, and possibly shot.$ \( C* \5 k$ `" R H6 g
% W' [% N/ J7 I ]8 i# z6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can$ g" @4 ` \6 a8 ^" i! D/ r4 Z
get you shot./ V0 e5 k& A3 Y6 a- a
+ X- i4 v3 K; N/ ~: }3 [* V7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that- t* {1 j% ?, |
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
- E+ {* ?, S5 D, E s. Pthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot8 T8 U# ]1 L0 d( D. j( T
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
$ Q: M1 r( p# p% q9 \# T# Q+ Lvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
+ z& O C& }/ f. K$ F0 d& e$ s7 p% Nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next s4 ^$ G3 e- P8 p
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, ] R5 U5 @; x( C4 emore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,/ h( C. G; M' Y; g% e6 q9 O; c
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 F' z0 R% m$ fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: U( H! K6 _( T
3 N- k( C2 D: Y6 [& M* [10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
) ~$ { N5 q2 Nroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
0 N( \9 C4 `' ~5 c; @Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and5 r0 _/ M3 E" L
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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* q; f& ]' X& g" p11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 s$ _- f% o; D3 d T' X
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally, ?+ D& a% ?0 m
Activated.') Z- Q: ]* b5 _/ `6 b
6 P3 P( Y, e, E) U; P' [4 ]12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
# x# u- [) V. C9 oyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'8 p6 j m) ^+ [3 |5 _4 o, n
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ D) \3 K0 l/ n13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) ]9 p7 }% J2 a# P4 @2 ^2 ?8 c# Glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- p/ Q* i" k0 }+ b ]blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
