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Tiger s Holiday Poem( d, F- l9 v* L0 B# {# T
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
1 b6 p$ x3 @' h W+ X$ KTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
, `1 p7 ^* n$ \# vShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,6 ?3 M# f) Q" m) H( _
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry., r$ X) R' k0 X+ i' s3 k/ z1 D
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
# H! o0 s9 \( F. O/ T. A0 aWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.3 M) |1 `/ W$ k- {* |
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,3 G# |3 x" d1 N" W' p
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.0 W& r) } w# z) X) a: n' L3 u
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,5 Y* Q/ [9 t- N) Y7 t
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
- W+ w, R6 l1 G2 S+ MWith hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,) ~1 |5 `5 f+ X5 k1 h5 z- Q* e3 ]- h/ B
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts." a6 }3 Q( F0 b; S
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
9 m6 {$ p( X6 I: {* o0 wTiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .( G, S$ _+ q, l$ x4 Z9 h
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,/ I- N+ F/ b( g4 A5 F( B$ x6 b
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
* ^: w' k2 D- a0 IShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,$ |- o. l! ^ n2 A4 o" p o
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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