 鲜花( 9)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. 6 |' D% t# t9 ?0 e7 { H
' S% j/ V1 ?9 S+ k: [
The following were some of this year’s winning entries: : q4 \1 E! G: k* _. a9 T7 y* s
8 w/ i6 n. r/ L# a* R
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. & d) @% K9 S; g, o. y+ b# b
$ E, e! B' [: }$ e- P+ M
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . " v( W- L7 p4 ]- _( L6 t' y/ v6 @
, g6 Y( A& v) E' ~& u
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
5 l; \" g$ G. s$ T9 |! [: P3 P# D$ h+ y4 M" e/ {# d$ e+ X6 ?
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
8 V6 m0 Q, g4 Z0 O. Y) d) {8 G1 Q n1 ?
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent / w# i) V9 c! ^6 G o0 [
/ g V( U7 k: w @6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. # a v8 v+ |: S" L" o% S C
8 A7 u+ V8 r5 \' G
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. [3 R A* ~5 R& q$ l
; ^; M% ^& Q) x2 \) X z7 c! P& I. Y
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
! o p# H. ~" G1 ?3 f; t6 s3 X9 X' R( u% b! e7 g/ k; D3 Y
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. , g- ^9 F4 l; E8 |, Q5 }# `. _
( ?/ C0 K3 [! z: [5 T10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
7 s; ^1 Z/ e- \ ]
# q* d; I4 H4 X9 P1 @11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. - ]1 z! d! u9 l$ n$ m$ Z
" b* v5 U: ^- H) n; \8 x
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
$ d; y! f, B+ z% E0 ~8 |1 z1 W
. p7 w( O- I& Y' Y; k E( k! A13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. % R E8 Z9 ~# e; M
$ G! X- R5 n' q) F3 F# p0 P" Y14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
- ^+ C; _0 {/ Y) N' s
4 C' K6 l% ~- Z9 l3 }' a15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
8 M6 q: w* O" `/ e( l
; q6 a1 ?0 Y6 t16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
|