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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words. 8 L* m$ H! L4 Q- n: h% m4 g+ ]
3 w- ~4 \; E: T' x6 O6 n: iThe following were some of this year’s winning entries: - l2 p& S9 T! N1 t- q
. S& k- }1 [7 P6 `1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. - }4 ^1 ]4 W0 q+ s& m/ \
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . & t) U$ q" e/ G
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 5 x# h6 n" O- G0 s. G; P
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 0 |' C/ |0 u( r+ @
/ ?0 w1 N4 P( W/ i$ e# l2 E5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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1 C, \$ }. |) Y6 }- U0 [6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
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7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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# J& c, x) g# T( I* Q5 e8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. 2 k0 h& X1 v& t- H
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9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. & J j) G1 \3 v9 S
/ i! x! d0 _2 U* v10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. . R8 k; b+ d" V* l
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. , C: { {7 _* d
! I4 ^0 z" ]/ m. f4 G& M4 F12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. 6 o* u) H9 E5 D
8 e3 i) t% v- r6 Z14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
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/ Z9 K7 D8 r; S. R# v15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. 3 i9 N9 Z% ^$ S! ^ U
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16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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