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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* O. h$ M! e7 i! kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 K& t( @* I: c x' {the other possibility.5 p* L8 b' }& y! D; z$ u1 Q; @
4 f, `" m* i* o G+ E% ~As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
) Z& m `8 t) h- \5 `spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
3 W8 e2 p2 |1 R! i, Xplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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' @ l0 {2 i- l) c. b6 a. WIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 O( W5 a* ]/ f3 \! j' hthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( S7 s' O" z- c2 Q: N
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 Y# x7 y6 m7 r3 \" P* l0 w6 h B- v
: z7 q, K- r5 I/ [- }; V1 u% Y- P4 v( _: K. a, B' ~( F' u
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
* d, t: T5 a$ u5 ?8 V2 itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
" G4 e$ O# |, x# ^! Qfotograf 20% shorter.
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: s, n4 R O& _' u& X( u# ^! xIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to( p5 y- p" G. ] u/ Y, e7 F8 j
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 ?4 x- m8 R6 W* B" {, e
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% ?5 Z/ [3 [- G' t% [( l }# x+ jdisgrasful and it should go away.6 {1 ~7 S3 c5 H: V( r
% @9 |$ s' i4 L5 R' Y% o: LBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
E9 b, _& ]" K: k. U+ I# Y0 ~"z" and "w" with "v".* h' J9 s2 [& ]1 C; ^2 q
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
7 D1 X3 }% e. r7 O3 ~after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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: ?. b* U3 L# s$ M" d* rZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 D% r9 _4 f3 ` ^/ b/ qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
: r0 k4 Q" X) J4 z( P8 TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
0 W \% D! R; ?0 w$ wforst plas.
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" J7 j/ T! W" G2 kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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