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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ c1 }2 \+ g* X
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' X3 c. d- i( H" Y/ a% c) A& Jthe other possibility.2 }% w: S& i$ l+ q7 H2 ~3 X
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 x! ]' s' g8 y' ~4 c" P
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
% M3 \3 h& C- `9 fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; {. t/ _6 A7 q+ k
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make( }; N; c( _% e6 ?4 O
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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1 q2 d1 @9 q2 Y8 K( ?( aThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 ~0 ^& F# H. O+ o2 V+ t* ?9 J
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. p" D/ C9 \ B
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# w3 l9 ^6 P; B0 y8 NThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
) d6 [8 E# ~# a0 c( ^- K( utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! D: P: T6 H2 g [7 Ffotograf 20% shorter." \- \; ^" |$ I9 A4 C7 B3 ^
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% F/ S9 g7 b) s4 j0 r6 _2 _
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
4 W3 j( v# L( v* Fben a deterent to akurate speling.
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& A/ c: I# v# l: _) S sAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is6 w q4 V$ S% {: M4 |0 I/ y
disgrasful and it should go away.' k4 X) S4 m+ W! u
! r% Y; a' F4 u/ I; Y7 OBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; t a/ j" w: N5 }: g/ v
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 p* j, G0 B0 O4 V+ }( X* ^0 z! D! fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' j4 b4 ~! \/ | Q+ N2 @
' q3 u) Z: H1 Z J/ k/ Z5 d# ZZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
& ^* a. e( n% b4 i7 e$ x! R9 tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ w9 I+ \9 T2 e6 l( [
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: Q! @, k" |: l; g* |) b- A
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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