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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it. m3 G" P4 K! s7 s
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.# l$ A1 Q3 T7 J. Z" o1 Y
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
1 J" z2 R ?) U# f& m& A" ~They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.% F2 J7 T* L! ^4 W
Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
) y3 x0 A% F C: X$ H4 d) Jthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
6 m6 M$ ^ R( Z7 K( ]that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
2 [1 L* E" K5 p9 s/ Q2 ^. C) G& bwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
: D' ~+ h1 { {3 `4 {' V1 rThere are some people that are not into all the words.
0 ~! r ]& d1 `7 _+ Y; ]" k) TThere are some that would have you not use certain words.% ^/ C6 Z6 c9 u5 B" ?9 t
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
& i! F/ `. P, N4 D" j; fof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
) c; |0 }# |& x7 E1 d p' {# ?9 Y0 C399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous ]7 M* K* t3 r" O4 N
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,9 ]4 A! o; x/ z& B8 q
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
5 y/ A8 D6 i8 z1 H! ?' u+ g6 g"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
3 m" ]( V! r" w/ X1 [and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?# `1 t' L" ^7 _9 a+ E
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
2 y, W+ G& S3 Z C0 {Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
7 ?- b; T3 u1 {# d7 l: ^/ R1 {: T# Vcurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.& q S/ a3 w( J: d* h# d" ^, ?; j+ u
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"5 [+ Z7 t2 v0 A* ~! m
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly/ k% j' b: A/ k( S- ~
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
& s) w6 X) \) I& u o% Xman. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a( \9 ^8 N) `# l6 \3 Y" u
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist* [0 g0 h' |- ]& s3 ]4 H
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
1 f: i; G* F/ k$ C, a# QPizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just% F. P$ M) `2 X$ a
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
; _* Y+ {( l" ?not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
9 A, S0 R, T+ S/ p2 Z' H' v) \" p- d4 Ibut you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
1 r0 n+ w8 u# b9 P( vcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
# \5 N" y* l- N8 O$ |7 }2 ^- qsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
' I! v w+ X k7 u7 AMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
1 W1 j. \ N9 @3 _there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
8 |' ?1 _: ?! J1 b- KI mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
" w5 ~% ~. g: e! u, C9 |. mwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at9 M" t4 A, J @! @! d; A0 [
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
. @" x& J) _7 C0 eIt's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
; u0 r& X' A2 i/ W1 w; ^other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
/ S) z8 D4 r4 Wtogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that1 k: h- L) X( g0 ?4 w. p$ B
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were& ^8 p- [8 _6 _! N* C
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I9 `! S: z$ ~( n' f7 F
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
& z- e' V5 i1 I+ M- gstupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
$ E/ |8 q# i3 rAnd, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more) t5 T/ u0 A/ J5 W: M q, g0 `
accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think2 V/ l5 ~# J4 R8 U, t
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very- D6 Y) p+ y4 M. r5 T
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to: \: J' t: K$ n: j! w' R8 `
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,. t( s; N% B6 f* L; m
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
6 V$ \3 o% {9 ^/ Nthan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is, U* Q$ [. d2 T+ [4 M1 R: g( p4 F* k- P
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
7 }7 e3 Y( W+ y% b; k \% @I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for, K: Z1 v# k X9 D" x' b: ^( C* t0 G
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,$ x0 c# Y5 s. q. p
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."7 H# p$ B$ p* b. c% S' W9 f2 j
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
9 @, I( A/ I( a" z* }I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any# r. w; k p7 {2 C' O' E( w& e2 u7 N
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even: p6 `( G2 z# m4 P
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
- u1 \* ^( ?! F7 cand Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.4 M' h9 j+ \ B5 u. n
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
1 Z. G" [% { Q0 N: [Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
8 z* {4 o1 H9 L6 L9 W# TCROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in: B# i! I5 S, @$ ` J
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for- q) }7 o' V& C3 y% u
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
- t7 ~+ A' [; e& M* }# zsay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding0 k, e2 P3 w. d; {% U, C
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
8 `# A$ a) v0 Z& H' U2 Z' ~3 g6 ugoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You, d% @5 g7 ]" k9 q" B9 w
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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