 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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+ e' E! q, t% hI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:6 }4 I4 d$ c$ }$ R5 @# y+ n
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"5 u+ s; ~1 r3 G* u- N" O
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! \& S2 k, q8 X$ Q6 P
1 Q a7 N$ d( G5 Y. DAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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9 h4 X' l+ s3 t8 P/ I/ Z( VI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 k: F- K5 g& `. j/ P: N- v8 D"What is Roe vs. Wade?"9 W( s! w" U3 o; F% \! l2 }$ W
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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( f e1 C" A: ^! Q* n8 g, \I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!' o$ D. D) `. C( W
3 f" \* X2 y) H$ LI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."8 t# B. k( Z0 F, e
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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: k2 m8 x; T* T, m W; ?0 }( @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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( Q$ z! N4 h5 |This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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# N, R7 a6 }8 r. H1 r9 kThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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: x" N1 G$ F0 E) O9 B% H! r4 @, [2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.2 U; G) a \+ t( E; Q
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.: F' c Q$ c! j- N
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
