 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.) f, S0 d, l6 W4 b& c
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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5 L( S1 Y p) x$ t5 |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 B) x+ O* Z) c8 ]: r, H
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And the second one was:3 \5 j$ W) C6 g* j6 J$ b9 v' M
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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0 v+ q, I4 c0 E1 n/ D0 JI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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4 c! a Q8 e) `6 S$ p* _"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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4 u4 C O) F' ]5 |9 G9 PI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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$ u/ Z& k2 w) wI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" r% k+ p1 G+ V
q1 [9 j: `3 k* m6 DI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.". Q Z+ |4 @% _( U; B: [
% Q E( F! B. O# YSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"4 l8 m2 ?+ W) g( O! |1 h; |9 P+ \! h
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.' {) n' ?' s; a! @" k8 [! L
; @: H, b& G% {Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference: Q5 _( a& q1 e3 t" d @
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.( n6 t) E/ g2 n6 }9 x' K
+ ^" F3 l) o8 i, P- o- d2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.$ N' C3 L ^! y0 { z8 B
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States"./ p3 q% ^+ \ ? q5 q/ H! s5 T# F
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 p% w. f* d% @+ {
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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