 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ ~ z t% ]( Y( N! ~$ S$ E
" w8 y) c/ p% u: t
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.( d' w( W! g0 x4 N. T
& z5 J6 p; m# ? o2 O; e* GI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
& Q9 Q+ x) }, x3 q$ ]0 w
. o2 x- n. x' Z0 |I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* H0 T# s5 E% Z, ^3 [
! J. R, G' w! ?# t; ?& w"Who's Benjamin Franklin?": F' m0 Y) z2 A2 e# W& a
5 x! E) V& H3 k6 J5 \! u
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# c3 u! `2 T) O5 ?3 s
$ v( U8 u9 F7 N, d. m5 j9 V4 iAnd the second one was:8 W: n/ r1 l& `8 [8 E$ k# {4 d, i3 L
' M3 ?- x) t, l) B"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
! z* n, i' |# C1 w
6 a& `+ ]3 ~ XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" N7 I$ T1 E% J5 o A7 U) K
3 n$ g% T" `4 J5 \6 |" S; a1 [2 L8 {"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 \. w& g: e6 n( Y
* N: |. l. X% y" G. ]I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?$ Z$ S; G5 W2 v! u
3 o8 ?6 k5 v8 e/ C0 dI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!+ }) \. C7 g& N( W) w: p8 k
# M2 T5 @. I2 K+ a
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
# h1 l: H' {( o8 I
5 v0 C/ ^* s" Q1 P& L8 m5 RSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") ?! u; g) R9 c! c2 ^& o
1 y4 a" @) y$ K# E
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
* W5 k1 b* ], M3 O& _6 u
3 n7 P. J y$ l% G, ]) B% G" NThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
f& ]' \2 n* Y8 ^ d. r. F
& p* A- B5 m+ l5 gThank you very much!6 {" [3 o8 N4 |, ^6 l2 [9 M
7 M4 Q2 l2 \1 b: v7 }==========================2 c$ S. J1 N% N+ }
! r& O# d- D( H0 r* aImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! X$ R- O( H; c/ V3 U( \ \; c" w
8 {' g8 F4 A' }! x7 H9 W* n. O4 F
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
/ b8 ^$ H) k+ T, J( h) r. v1 y. t
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.: f6 n0 Q' U3 ^4 P$ Q( e9 @! Z
5 u& x4 l3 \# X2 D2 r! F9 h
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& n7 G: F( s. J$ h! t4 D
* o7 c- K/ s5 }5 ~
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".& a ~( g6 f; v4 N6 S- A
) u: m, L+ X8 q* @6 ZRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 L! S. r7 Z4 c k) z* u4 C; T! x8 C
2 u4 w. U/ n/ N) H4 |The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
