 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
7 ]0 o" Z' }- y3 @$ }+ L; o; z9 g1 j% w4 N. d" l W
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
' w% v5 |& h+ x8 r* q/ f
7 l$ Y4 E6 _& aI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 z; j. q+ L* m' A% s; B+ F
0 @- ^/ o/ W8 ?) c3 A: Z2 MI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
1 i; R( W' P ]$ x+ K6 r* f3 u9 q- c# R$ P
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
6 l' j a$ C) F$ X+ N- h9 j9 p, y+ G& r" ^' L* |, V8 p1 V/ h/ N9 w* W6 g
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
- q4 V9 {1 B' e/ x
' b, B* w6 J' p: [2 rAnd the second one was:
0 F! E- ]2 z* Z+ f9 k+ }2 ^; N# F* `% S6 g6 M r! T& K
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"0 W0 F$ z3 g4 _, R. }
' I2 H# z8 H3 N8 }4 II was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?2 F3 ?$ s. q1 |) C
' L4 ?4 f5 {7 [6 c6 B2 c"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
! K2 [! h- @* q
2 Z o+ z& B- G! Y6 U: [I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?/ N6 J# R4 ]3 e2 f3 G1 N2 ], c5 n% F7 h
' [; W& j# S) B. I; G3 _8 wI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!9 r7 Z1 v/ v4 U- Q
5 M, [, P6 G% s: e4 Z
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
, j) B7 p y: }
6 s( W- a4 A6 VSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 t, e6 c5 n# n. E
& L' B( V8 [* ~% ~
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”4 \ N0 u2 v) C4 _
, H# E% ?3 ]. t- z
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
6 T2 G7 q$ ~$ L/ |2 K# h. [
2 G7 z u8 y- e0 \3 aThank you very much!- x; r, c1 {+ ~, D# { v
& _4 i/ V; c7 ]8 H; a; D$ r7 D, j==========================% o6 z/ m* _% |9 u! a1 u( M1 U+ I
4 Y5 t2 k( o1 m4 k; ]- u! z4 \
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
+ G! Q. b8 D5 L
8 J! x3 R- m4 \; R5 P1 L' \5 Q0 c1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.; i6 s" F+ k2 m" C+ M: }
' K7 n# R8 h' _+ W$ `/ u2 A* o6 I" P- ~2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
; V1 k" B5 R; l8 y+ b4 U) e- W$ y
9 D. V, T6 s( E1 X$ b8 @2 ]"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
7 R/ E5 S! F3 @% T3 T: @ t9 j9 i0 H8 Q2 m3 N( r
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 z9 I) T+ L$ l5 B! x2 l+ K/ i8 L
' c* P' j1 f5 @ O3 v+ I3 ZRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
B( W! {" I& o( [8 e' V
4 p' l" F0 Z6 V2 PThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
