Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. |& Y, f; x$ l, q. R5 oDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
: G0 \) _/ c( K6 y$ f

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! O' W9 u" A3 ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 P) S8 q2 M( svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( V% i+ W1 q# w( b$ a' pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* W8 q# z( G9 u3 j: n! O: Z! |Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& b, E0 U9 F4 K0 ^: Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' f( T1 y3 R3 |endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 M, Y) p5 N; f- T5 ^: p) nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( Y( V1 G% p5 t. W* q  I1 hExtensive courier duties also required.
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2 R, M7 Q, ?! ]/ Y7 V) FRESPONSIBILITIES:
! g, x& c; N" ~! I% m5 ^: CThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ y$ c5 N0 _7 ~$ P4 j% h6 Duntil someone needs $5.
1 M: o6 }. E1 ^9 uMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ E! H$ o8 Q, |9 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 `" ^3 H8 w& m/ Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: i* ]6 j3 |' IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 J1 i; ]# y" K3 Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( Y2 P  S( A" C+ kMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. z. G* w1 l, {+ u* A/ san embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! t+ O$ H/ \  ^% tMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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3 }( ?6 S( R* |3 _0 IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 H& d. S* p! GNone.
% s: p  {3 p" ?  d5 qYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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' d! D" o7 ]0 ?. p* \
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ X3 [5 x  f5 t' `  ?2 B! oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
5 ]& l6 a1 A' s" q/ y( ~
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ v3 u  R. R8 J8 b! H& e3 ?- `Get this! You pay them!
9 G8 j* N; v* |% c0 @7 ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# y2 ~4 {; _+ {0 Ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
: ~; ^' Q. H, t7 Q, W, pbecome financially independent.
. W1 y' H; f) YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 e, ?3 j4 V9 a& i6 X/ `' Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

, s7 |1 {! R9 ^, n& q. t9 m+ iBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ q4 p/ \' _6 c( m0 b0 ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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' S, [$ L$ u9 ]# r** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# |/ k5 b5 C* Kletting them know they are appreciated
- ]' i, k$ |8 @# i7 E  V( Ffor the fabulous job they do...
! Z  v" I; s/ k: U: i1 B% o' e- `or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.