Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 U! O% x9 m8 ~" w/ }Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 V0 a$ x$ n4 u9 B/ `% MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) T: b. g9 t/ _and organizational skills and be willing to work
* _( |8 V* b+ \! e' V8 l* B9 Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. |& j0 `1 d2 |0 Z$ O0 ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. e9 Y3 H+ Y! \4 ?6 y% @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ K/ B( V/ u0 e1 n7 lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( \6 E3 S3 C9 u1 j) V; t* ~1 OExtensive courier duties also required.

) {/ U* n* |! o# t6 I1 G% x; ~1 _; fRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ ~# o5 P$ ]; {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( D! d7 n- k$ E0 o% h9 Tin case, this time, the screams from
5 a( K& |1 b) {: {the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 w2 q2 z& Z2 H" f9 J5 }6 VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 k" I% e, H6 k% K6 O8 [, ?8 A2 R& vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, D$ y) I- M. S$ Z6 K1 T: nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 I  k" h  w$ v* c- ]* H1 w7 iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  [$ I: W1 |6 J, _" _! dan embarrassment the next.
2 V" b" H4 t# C" z. |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 }, @7 c( k1 _; {" lMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 F( }" P% _6 c) l/ @% \9 `None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, _9 ^$ B7 e% v6 ecan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' @1 f$ j) B. y1 J4 J6 w6 FNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 z9 B3 f0 D" q! I( A$ O; v1 \& LWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, C( N( t; j6 ]8 a; B8 LGet this! You pay them!
* X* |: N% Q: U5 u) gOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 W6 n. c& G' Z8 v) \& `6 Q" j" b9 h9 Ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
$ U2 t9 l3 p' j' t# \2 ^6 Z1 L5 Qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- N5 u8 {4 S5 P* |4 qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
3 ]; d7 W. r4 O# I5 i0 i' cWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 Z  k" a+ C; [0 ~no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 H& D. t5 X& i+ s& s6 Lfor life if you play your cards right.
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9 Q- @" ]9 \1 R$ T) i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
+ X2 I  G0 V- \6 T' @9 Lor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.