Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& B' O/ \$ M1 c. o( ?" Z, ]3 LMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
& y" ]- W& f. G3 W) Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
: M$ Y) S" H, |# \. z: l+ |! {9 Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: P- }+ M) a6 p% Q+ Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ X' E+ u8 d# w5 e! ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% }  z, }0 F) Y2 r/ xTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
" o3 @, C5 e: A3 a/ v8 M7 FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ e* ]( H' w+ [. ^( ]- C" Zuntil someone needs $5.
8 I8 i( f. [* r6 S* vMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; [  L& u( r. L* \' min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ ?% m4 P4 y" O  H3 K2 N" ~9 g5 kMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& u, ~& r6 U$ G% ~* u+ {6 bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 z- [/ R% @" o! x6 d) I! rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 M4 v- I& |% uMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  g. ^% u& g8 U- o! I! F, i1 ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! e& y6 M  O, q8 R( U/ G% man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 n0 R4 J' K+ n- x2 jthe quality of the end product.
% a  \( y: _! v7 D( k# Q- I0 b  ?& j3 rResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. e& A% Y: n8 Y& S+ t$ Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 E/ b7 m8 V9 m- o+ V: [" i  r, zPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 u. O6 W  F: I$ G+ Q, h' ZYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 Q: O2 ]2 A' Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' ?1 H0 N9 L- j# e  a! A/ A  f& aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


$ q1 P9 ?$ J) G) {( rPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
+ l2 h- I. y- z' U/ a) wGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( r% b) D# [6 H5 u) O: w$ fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
- g5 e( k/ F7 O  a* v6 `8 LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 l5 p3 B; \" X; }" a0 T' X6 ~( hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 E$ {! A% [8 m" ]- YBENEFITS:
% `( m3 O0 N, r& SWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

8 c* t  ]. A, u  N( \- s  c3 funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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9 M" d; @0 g! t# Y) I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.