Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- X9 a3 n8 b% z) gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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& L! C* z  Y6 x2 Y& oJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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, u# r8 a& e8 Q9 a* N3 @% f5 kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! ?8 G# p1 K% t# pCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 C/ t3 Y1 ?: aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 d9 D. b9 S7 q" p3 rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
' p  o; Z1 ?+ \- d( H; @( p1 NThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 X9 p8 n! W9 l/ g. Q5 N& \1 cMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 v( V- d1 w$ d7 l: a  e0 U6 m9 wAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( A: W2 j/ I2 t' g5 R2 A/ u: D( Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 M1 Z: W! @+ S; c8 Q3 [" }( ?3 ?in case, this time, the screams from
: J/ j2 V. ]. [, [4 a( Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* N" X; V6 z: R4 pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( P+ [0 Z3 D2 W& O( j9 G" I6 ~5 y/ ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" V  N/ L3 j2 Q8 R( Aan embarrassment the next.
8 D; W( l8 ^( p; l1 O5 D" eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ t1 b$ o& _7 q  D9 {. @: p5 K2 ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' V% Z4 t: a: F% z. p# ]) z6 J/ uthe quality of the end product.
6 V; z; {2 g7 i$ MResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 C! _8 I+ i5 R1 [, Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 c0 N4 ~( \$ U+ H2 KNone.
+ z' W: j/ \6 cYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 G( v/ U/ a. i3 }- gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; v" Q  K8 A% A3 d7 X& bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) r* N% T1 C4 ]1 rcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. O+ i' c$ _) ?& TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# Z" H7 N. U8 P& h$ tWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
" }2 X6 q% v! s$ I7 xWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: t, `# |8 Q& tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: _9 Z' T6 h9 u( Q: s. f. K. t5 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
+ s" u# X$ z$ @5 _this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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5 I: c; Z. h* u& p9 U! R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
" Z$ Q. {3 U, R/ A3 x/ f' ufor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.