Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 l- ^9 ]  h3 V  ?) z8 MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) K# O5 g$ D7 ?8 F; QJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 J: d+ j" M% I5 z3 V! kLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 t2 F4 h8 }) u5 [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 j' Q, t' r8 O* I! }1 Y' ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, q9 ?- \5 B: v0 V, dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# h. Z( u5 O: I7 dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
6 r- K# ^! Q' l7 z) ^% CThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) P/ p7 d! N/ ~# z, o! a; juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. z8 `: M) _% C. ^/ ?: u  C# U6 d/ Z. Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. G! X: `/ y! x- l/ bMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( W* |+ A+ }  E* _( w9 g% Y$ {! g! dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ K( c5 h+ o! ^0 A1 qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' F7 N8 N6 L7 q( v& xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# G, A: F5 K8 K; i  OMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 ^6 _" A* c4 Q# n/ ethe quality of the end product.
% l/ V  [2 ?7 V$ PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

! C0 C, b8 a* S6 GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" }$ x3 X4 X6 B) UNone.
- ?, {( f% D  |2 `: [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 L# X- x' M# m( Y# @without complaining,constantly retraining and
* ], j5 p" P3 K2 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* L8 M1 t& S! k2 X* XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 d$ @# j2 l5 K: \Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. E  O; O& C- E/ `$ M: L" ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" Q5 w; S3 x, r7 ?of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
0 _9 h5 b2 z) t/ ?/ YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" q8 K' |" X2 i0 IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
: ~# \' N/ w5 BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 v) g/ t* |4 w4 h
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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3 ^" G8 l) V* r9 j4 kForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
1 ]- D! h" R) t5 u) H! bfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.