Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


0 |( X! S& w/ S: s7 zJOB DESCRIPTION:
& N/ U$ o# X0 e: \Long term, team players needed for challenging,
" ~* |+ J0 s, f' w' E
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- t* }3 U+ i: t9 ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
& q/ t) D( I# W' b# u0 ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 ^' \7 ^/ w5 F  V3 J1 K# O# [8 y$ l* ~+ tSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 j, j8 l/ {4 d  |) l  `/ Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ P) ~0 j/ l% ^1 e1 I2 rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 f. x  k; F+ c4 w& mExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ B' @/ K. X0 i  ]: n3 ]The rest of your life.
) V' T6 |' B: P0 P* gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 t  x0 N/ {: S& I& Luntil someone needs $5.
  i7 G3 m+ Q8 T! C& bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 q" v, W9 z. O! A( yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 a! U3 \; I, [6 q' f% _9 jin case, this time, the screams from
: S# k3 ?9 z7 C, xthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 E% Z7 W* d! i. T4 T/ b* Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 {9 G3 Z3 d* C/ j9 Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ R4 }0 y& Z( Q/ \$ Q& f- |0 fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 U2 G0 J7 X+ z$ x: Ian embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 A1 T! }9 y) |* [Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 B9 A, o7 L9 @; ~' f, G, d5 kthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) q; l& a, j& d1 D1 P& ]; ^4 _janitorial work  throughout the facility.
# Q2 ?0 }1 }0 T0 F
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" l  `- ]# l) E& f' d6 ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
. c( D# E% |% W. Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 G$ d7 V1 a, k* g6 c8 z( m5 Rcan ultimately surpass you.
: {8 u" y" r. D& p/ ?  W: ?/ K5 N
. X! j; I# I3 n; \. [
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% m1 F% L* [7 Y1 b6 rNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

" t* h' e- w! m* lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- o$ o  ^7 i9 O  t) V; G' kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* z9 S; g  ?0 V& h/ n* i% gThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. w- I0 ~1 b! |BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ u; Q0 ], ?1 r: ]no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- D$ b% Q+ V  |. J* \3 {no stock options are offered,
- j' j( y9 u* s: l4 ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

1 _' B4 w/ f# F, u


% ^5 g3 {9 n& p7 U+ @9 H& T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



3 a! e7 I" O. m( s4 y5 I- [+ ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
1 \4 F0 m& @) o( z( F. z3 B& E2 _for the fabulous job they do...
1 e/ A2 F5 \( w$ A+ u% g7 nor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
" X+ l% J' d" k9 K* Q. i( \

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.