Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ b  I) |1 o& v4 eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( A# ?6 U2 n7 F4 v" S& i. Q5 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* V$ k. O* _1 lJOB DESCRIPTION:
) S9 X8 ^* U7 D* Y! p+ ULong term, team players needed for challenging,

: D/ o9 p/ g, V+ W! Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ `6 W) ]5 k* b9 R& }( o) Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" V$ n  l( ~9 h; y' [, F7 HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
. n* [4 q" Z$ w' r! x. j; \primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. z3 u3 e5 m) m' _( g( q0 nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, R+ U7 H) E5 C- s! _: @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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9 o6 k' U! N; o7 u0 [RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, _6 ~# Y/ l0 s$ {5 Cuntil someone needs $5.
9 Y' Z/ V" u' R- CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, [5 e+ q& y6 ^! U3 Y( p' DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- h, ]4 \/ z' v  Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* ]7 Q0 I6 o4 ~- _) ?' BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 }7 b& p, ^; bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  |0 u$ ~# T6 hMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ T) t, f7 N( v  gMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. ]- g1 Y- B9 oMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 ~# _/ m6 i$ A2 b' F; r5 thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( N% {2 E# x' z0 e& W' [; CMust assume final, complete accountability for
. J; X9 O& V( o. l8 B2 ^  Jthe quality of the end product.
" f7 J" N( |: L! F- }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 L/ D7 `/ K8 ^% Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  F9 e/ U1 w$ {* Z/ HNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 k, o" k) z  [/ w9 A2 D" `without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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# R0 Z* j& g$ f  SPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 H& U% J! r8 m2 Y! f! ENone required, unfortunately.
4 j! G% T5 V# G9 ~0 p) AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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# j5 b$ }8 K* Z% x1 X9 y2 [5 qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! n5 V7 X  l# N" ~$ v; u. UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 x0 {7 G; ~% Z$ da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 i' R- I3 K( v# i) _5 T- {1 |of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
* r" A" L% k# y: M' V2 q+ M) T1 v; NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 A6 d) W' s( W1 c. K  Y9 e$ W/ }BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 c% h) n6 C( j5 V
. B. V+ X7 R2 ^* o% f% W# x6 \- pfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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/ \# A/ y7 z8 Q6 N0 Q2 [& S1 zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 b( @  y! c6 C- m) eletting them know they are appreciated
+ b" G4 q3 c- [) Gfor the fabulous job they do...
( k- Y& v' }' `; W7 o/ ~$ L, wor forward with love
+ A: H. K! V5 j$ ^& y6 W5 Y( I7 uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.