Crazy English! Zt

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. R2 d, {) c- U! c1 QCrazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

, A2 O, \8 S- UIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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; }, ?- z( e9 g# B1 Z( X. KIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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, m1 c' N  h- eIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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) x, t5 H7 G  o$ ?/ m" P$ ]Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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. F' v$ O6 A/ f" ]: t: M1 H: @We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

# I1 P) X- v6 Y/ D! H4 c5 qThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

( q, Z: X/ E9 t$ o' M/ B% hLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

' u) b" _/ m; X% A! `There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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( `  q6 C8 W* \! {! B: p2 k5 J  yShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

+ Q- f. a$ D* \' J2 KHave noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
7 G! @  U, F5 x7 n# lHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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3 L- v( C- a0 S( h; |# KSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane