 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol/ |3 j; s# x7 l
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9 v) n! Y9 }# x6 g" x& H3 hThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:1 G9 Q, I7 F6 R9 w3 g' Z
+ _( z8 j: n# X6 j9 i9 _0 T1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.! z; _( u. R% O8 w
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0 U' { e3 C! M# q$ y9 S2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.+ y$ \: Z9 @$ d2 v# ?7 O& @) w3 F
3 V7 ]1 d) N2 Q5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department./ }3 y8 [! @& S) R
; `3 q% C6 g, F% I8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
3 Z" ~% e; E) e9 ^+ @# U9 A'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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6 p4 a+ E% D+ O' F5 \9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.; V+ O3 T5 e6 f0 J
n8 n, J3 ~8 r* x8 P- o. g10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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% P) x! _% q2 r+ E11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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t( O% u4 ~0 d7 W% b7 A! g12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.+ w/ z6 Y* {& T3 J
' O7 |% Z3 b* G13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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$ `0 E" X- c- [14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!9 X5 t" B( U3 ]# \! s
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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