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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol6 ?8 e7 h2 @% x1 i# q
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5 P2 V% ~6 e$ G6 uThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.! `2 Y' ~6 V1 t; E
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, P6 ?# O( T( g1 B f2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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! Q6 T4 I/ R' y' x1 e+ d3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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' _2 T8 x, N8 ~+ g5 l; W/ L1 E7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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F0 C! ], V3 c) Y; e8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
X& T- q; [$ F- ~% W9 n" V* ]. C'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'* n0 y* Q5 M' a- \) o
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.# c- g A$ n* o m* r
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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; S$ c% S0 U$ I2 S" _12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels./ T5 k$ q5 g: O- ], l. {, _* ]
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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. G5 H, C3 D! q- ~6 x Z) \3 M$ g14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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