 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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/ `$ T; E/ X! n1 k3 x+ k; n* R% \Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:* P- U: C% @0 c# g
) t0 `* H$ l% Y& J( f1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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- L: o/ j) M0 |/ ?; s( q2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.2 a0 v: t: ^# m6 V& }, x
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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2 Y1 h& ]4 R. U8 z4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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8 x. q- _! C" u4 E5 a5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.) n: A, r9 O2 i9 D6 u, c. `& V
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area& W1 h4 ]5 H5 u: b, M) i
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.6 [ a/ O* g5 \( C" N# l% ~- Q0 }
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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i4 E. S7 B) y+ L9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.$ n0 ?2 s; p. w r* U2 p4 d
6 g: T5 ^/ K/ s: w l9 m; M( w2 T, o. e10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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s$ y# B; A9 X; f9 Y11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.% e; M. u n8 @8 c: p
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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% J; s2 E4 X5 A) F7 x$ p2 iAnd; last, but not least!)
4 F% j& j; v2 Y! X$ t/ h. h15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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