 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol6 {6 V7 [- x# l+ R
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:1 y- a o9 X, E( Y! `7 p
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.# y2 _% f' n. }$ V$ X) E
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6 K: H# ]2 R* t. B- P" y" }2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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1 x) ?' [; H/ }7 q2 F3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms." Y! g, n2 ^4 u# N0 b" F% `
- X- U3 F; K9 {+ d. J0 V5 F2 i4 J4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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- T- I) E1 L. R! a- r, ^$ l5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 H& ]! q( T" Y: j. {6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area! [" [. H3 \1 m6 Q$ n& W
/ }5 i6 C1 a1 ~7 r7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.+ W# }' `2 A% k
% Z# C$ d! m( L8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask4 q, T( Y" s! g4 M& e. t8 G
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'+ ]6 g2 y5 T1 c; o% c- ?' v6 B
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose. s) I G! ^- Q# q5 R- M% F: s
" T% t x; n0 o10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.( E7 L& t( X) l2 q) U S, p
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.+ G1 L& |9 P$ b& C9 X
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!/ X9 m9 Y! Z7 k$ B
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!* T$ x. u5 U7 D- e
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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