 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?2 `- c" G" q- `6 x3 O3 J# ~
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Let's face it
; S; a: ]+ p4 K0 r6 h& jEnglish is a stupid language.( c- \4 o! `% e- s l+ D" p2 d+ q
There is no egg in the eggplant# C# m) Q4 R; r0 \
No ham in the hamburger; G7 T, v6 e$ M9 }: L$ {
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
, i% t% o; E$ f7 `3 l$ @9 P: bEnglish muffins were not invented in England h. [5 I1 u, F
French fries were not invented in France.2 f# a. g/ b+ _3 W T" t) L: P
2 s2 } `# V- m( @We sometimes take English for granted
3 \& K( T2 P4 \# bBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that. `0 N5 z. Z8 e) S+ z
Quicksand takes you down slowly# Q' s. c% w. J2 p+ [7 Z
Boxing rings are square
9 p- T" \7 ?/ x5 PAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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5 c4 X7 P4 W/ b c, c i7 tIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
; @4 m3 |* i1 ]! u: g( KIf the plural of tooth is teeth' {" K, h2 z4 E# q, c U( X# P: H
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
4 B4 F& E) ?; @! F$ }If the teacher taught,
! l( S5 v+ r. i7 j. l- OWhy didn't the preacher praught.( D2 D% ?% S3 _5 ^% I( ^
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
& H1 h$ M* c9 dWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?* r# D0 h# q; Z+ {
Why do people recite at a play
- A8 P0 V1 ?, s: y& vYet play at a recital?
2 _! F/ N. w" N G# P) _2 S; l, `Park on driveways and
( ]) |, X; O/ D( t" \ m" V/ }Drive on parkways
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9 e N: F4 C: gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy7 ~; `' c* R3 a2 v
Of a language where a house can burn up as7 r% \% B5 J; B( U, O" T
It burns down
* U% O; f, A1 i6 m: b# E wAnd in which you fill in a form 2 i6 P0 `6 M5 a& {: A9 X
By filling it out
3 a/ |0 C5 ^3 w; } L/ h+ ^And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
1 l0 _$ M6 C) ]2 }0 jAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race! c4 T6 `: R$ \4 e: \
(Which of course isn't a race at all)9 G$ H& |- w0 `/ A. b
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That is why/ M0 b% g. G# K" @
When the stars are out they are visible# N- A5 p! X/ D
But when the lights are out they are invisible
- @& g8 L: j% s/ z% D% lAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch! E; i: c, y# b, j
It starts
+ Q6 I( x* i) K9 x4 ~. QBut when I wind up this observation,
* B2 ?# @" _! sIt ends. |
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