 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it5 q5 K, D3 P1 n0 E+ C
English is a stupid language.
* |. v! c [0 Q4 ^There is no egg in the eggplant! }! h- a& W# s* H6 A
No ham in the hamburger
" H# Q/ W; i% D: }, y4 j, H: Q0 fAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
, U8 p) s9 F5 @2 B1 x1 q8 |English muffins were not invented in England G8 ]; E3 f- c! T
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
- y3 i& j9 y! ?; G! PBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that3 m1 w- ?+ b4 V) R' j4 X8 c. h
Quicksand takes you down slowly( E0 d9 n/ |, G" ]
Boxing rings are square( C+ p# N7 E5 X# [0 O6 i- q
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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2 A1 y: d- ]+ n* Q1 }1 vIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.! ~! U1 j1 X9 f. _
If the plural of tooth is teeth, y( r) V; b0 Z9 ` X
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth( N5 P* l7 E4 ~: }
If the teacher taught,7 @! [$ C4 [( E; m. C2 h2 Q
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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: ?) M( _% R% XIf a vegetarian eats vegetables4 a e, A) C: H3 M" F! f
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?9 h7 _" N" c q3 \! a1 _6 V
Why do people recite at a play
4 d- v; o ]4 V& rYet play at a recital?9 P9 |1 @3 K/ h$ ^& j- K1 q
Park on driveways and
/ F3 B' n- F4 ^1 B/ M, QDrive on parkways3 o. M, [, S8 Q5 ]- n
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy8 A* F( K1 w% U! X4 J$ m
Of a language where a house can burn up as
+ t+ J, q' D aIt burns down
4 X9 f0 O, [3 c2 \- E4 XAnd in which you fill in a form : A/ W0 K9 ]4 ^; [% ?3 k3 N
By filling it out
" Y: D5 C* T& N- ~( W* X: O" [And a bell is only heard once it goes!9 ]7 d/ J/ W. D1 K/ y; Y: U
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English was invented by people, not computers
" A3 g1 J2 q) R2 w0 kAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
, D2 o7 C5 A+ V7 T0 n+ \" }(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 Y0 Z7 v& S) V) m
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That is why
+ m5 C* K4 D- O" c2 z* L6 cWhen the stars are out they are visible0 v$ l% w8 X3 i1 ^. \% d
But when the lights are out they are invisible- C8 P ?" f! B- u" O( p
And why it is that when I wind up my watch& I+ A/ M+ o: I
It starts- g3 j1 L) K$ z. h: U
But when I wind up this observation,; |# K( H- I- S" ~
It ends. |
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