English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
6 P; D" W- N) C% A+ V; m9 w; j
4 F3 b" A/ j' G2 j5 K# y0 s1 lLet's face it
  g1 E: T! w. U+ q8 @English is a stupid language.
. ?- p5 q) Y% U' QThere is no egg in the eggplant
% C! {2 H4 |1 x2 O' j0 u& R- s9 f9 gNo ham in the hamburger
& l) `  m' X2 MAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
; q) u) T. q" y+ F: r! T) }English muffins were not invented in England
6 G( j1 E9 \7 V$ I  o: UFrench fries were not invented in France.
+ V0 q' _; z9 |9 `- i
We sometimes take English for granted
* H  [- \! ~/ V/ y# b& x( i$ |/ KBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
. u9 s. w$ X, h% B) h( b( hQuicksand takes you down slowly
7 Z4 Y+ h4 o" w: TBoxing rings are square
9 s- K& j. a. g" dAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

+ y1 w6 U4 n# H$ CIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
: t0 W  \. f8 {# v' vIf the plural of tooth is teeth
& ?/ r# H. q- O! C! wShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
4 d- p/ i8 w9 |, q! c) C; uIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
0 s' Z) U2 H* u, B6 r! z( B- w% t* T
1 d: i/ ~4 D# b7 O* qIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
5 x+ a9 O5 }" ~* tWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
" d  G- A1 D2 i, vWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

5 L) i+ q" q8 K% t8 KYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
$ h1 p! K: v4 \. y% K2 MOf a language where a house can burn up as
- n6 r$ g, x6 X+ {; o# Q6 sIt burns down
( U! }  f: z2 N. w2 kAnd in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
2 l" W. X$ O: Y1 u) r4 o! B& r
English was invented by people, not computers
1 e9 h/ ~8 V0 e- c9 bAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
' T& z! S# d  \" T, y- d$ kWhen the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
/ ^/ p# y5 c/ \- `( kAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
; u+ G4 V& S4 f: ^: n7 j( `It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
) ~* t0 M5 q  S+ k! D, x. Z- d3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
+ D  g# C* C: X+ T( P1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
/ E3 D) H3 j8 H) P实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

abcd460

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说得不错，有收获，顶一下


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