Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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* k' y, y$ b  X& c6 @& j+ f/ |1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

% p% v, t0 Q7 Z* b; b% f" H# V% \% a2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

; o9 u9 ^  ^. s' _( v* b, `0 Z4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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7 x3 K8 K, t9 Z, {- Q% F! N5. Are You Andy or Barney?

% |0 ^- h6 x% C6 Z- c" Y- w5 v$ p6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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7 X# _& a1 C* M  G7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

+ x" P+ ~* A" `; I4 v9 p  u& T8. I pay your salary!
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9 L3 T) }* E0 f8 X/ H$ h9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"