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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
  A+ Y8 L) d* ?- XBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a ' l/ m  U! L; y5 ~& l
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
& e) r: {2 X+ `0 y- \6 s8 t2 |and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your . N% J% N. E4 c( Z+ g
flock, will you give me one?": R- J8 V4 Q+ ~8 m' F
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 3 b/ |0 D% I$ L4 R4 D$ V' _
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."; `3 a1 M( P3 b5 y0 O
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
! U4 M; v% f6 b6 Xcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
* i  E" h& f' \GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
1 P6 R" e/ d. r8 Qand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ( T) N1 ^0 ^) c: K; q6 J, X$ `
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
$ m3 H4 a7 O6 r3 ?' F8 K* Z+ I: Wa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
! I' m/ L& [; t4 v) v6 |- Dsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his , B! o/ K  H+ }; c1 U+ s; h4 D* _$ P
car.6 J) ]* I& m+ g, K) x; v8 {0 G
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
2 f$ x% I' `; l. i6 Jis, will you give me back my animal?"; s. C7 \& l3 a& h# F* }

4 I3 F' T  W5 D! p"OK, why not" answered the young man.3 @3 p& M  c' A/ ]& S4 A
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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: \& L: g9 G+ k+ r"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"- E. e- E4 ?# g" n$ ~' n. L

, o  k& F) L& J( M; H- W$ b3 P"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
$ o: i9 R5 x6 l8 U) J1 Wnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ' W9 M$ z7 l; S
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
& U; P8 l' `; N7 l& |me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
5 c% n$ A& S  U  r1 Z3 F6 c5 r* Eundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ; M# Q, ^7 k' n: H3 J$ I, V5 p- g
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 3 g+ l, B5 e8 I6 m" T) @8 C3 v, v
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
9 z5 c0 c7 M3 Z4 lwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ' R. J. o( d6 H: k# w  G! ?3 p+ s
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into * b$ s0 R4 R% Q: `1 \8 r
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
5 r* X+ v0 Q  T; v/ [; @open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
; S  K4 i) F+ F2 u: Jresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
; f& O" |, [( N' M  v0 b! xbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ; s/ Q& j. Y  L$ j8 o  \
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 5 i4 Y  r* L& u

& X7 X7 j7 E& i: U5 L6 h$ K/ }The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 1 t. [3 R' K2 N( o$ V- G
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".$ d( X  B3 j) q1 _$ b
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The second man married a telephone operator. ) \2 f" k8 R, ]% _, S. c: R" r
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. & i4 V7 N! Q! g- p
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
: ^) w# R' c+ W& `' N# Q2 z3 Bbutton...A-bomb.?" V0 y4 o6 L$ y1 R- J

2 r; J9 p6 V" q% E1 C8 nThe third man married a school teacher. % I+ F6 q) Z! M

- _8 p7 \. N3 t  YDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty / S# F" W* Q$ P
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 1 a, p% r3 E+ U+ s5 v
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two % I0 h$ p$ G! E5 ]- x" Z' p1 S
would call much later in the day.
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# ~7 r& S; G! l% Z' WAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 6 A9 u9 T3 i* Q1 h9 p
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's $ D$ J( s3 I* ^- H
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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+ q( O( A7 O: Q+ b) \# j5 eThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night % p' F4 ?+ e3 w/ I/ V4 B: g: u, b
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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) `* V7 b2 {# @, T# e0 P  d5 a. c+ {At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.. u7 U' t" Z- n  ^7 m' e) T, X
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 0 [" k/ i/ p) o% H6 y$ b9 ~
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 7 U& y! E' ]& a6 u  F: p$ W
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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/ X0 ^1 k" [: D6 q$ DDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
9 f0 t+ i' u1 `' {# d2 t! Gtheir voices."
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4 b) I8 x- z" p4 A. T! k  h" ]9 R  DThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
* T$ K1 ?& w1 V0 G1 T# V/ Z5 Cheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
1 n: M7 K3 i0 }& F. I/ Rthree minutes are up." # W4 a6 S: g* W# N1 V

( w+ c. ^# P, R; }, YDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be % S) n9 O+ p% {% ^( B/ A4 M" p9 I
calling any minute.) O3 ]- v% T$ h9 a! }

- f9 n! q5 F, h  ?Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
2 k, h9 @$ J! Y* s  [4 a$ ?, }8 @, Y& C, u4 f5 O) `) A* P
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
. h. D# M$ N7 y/ v0 x! Z% F& y+ dman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
3 O/ u6 {: y* _his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and * t' w7 x- I- a( |4 _$ V; ?) Y
legs.' Z/ e% I/ O* T  c2 f

  \8 h# B. b$ A& n# OJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
4 F# |/ u2 ~6 wfight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ) V" w/ F4 Q0 H, X0 c
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
+ E! @9 T' f. i% O, B9 nare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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