Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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+ w$ G0 \. m3 P( ^1 Y# b8 L> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
, ^( t' P" H% w( S  J& d% V: G7 J> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
# p/ T( Y1 U9 X0 P> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
) m! W$ T# R" p> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
8 x7 r7 \' M' Q: A- C  v> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
, o2 t* |2 x3 a( |>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
- Y- [( B; a' Y. Z# J> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
' Z" ]( y! e  J6 `+ M! i> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
8 \2 \" _6 a1 ?8 b+ t0 b4 x> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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$ }+ d# Z3 ^( S0 _% y% B> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
+ t- ^3 L# @9 }1 K: C> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
" n, q/ b2 A! e7 W> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
  ~1 G* I3 k5 v8 ~% z+ M* ~> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
# ?! \# i2 t- j8 y> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
) I6 U4 [1 d9 a7 e: w> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
& g8 Y9 f+ K+ z- j$ W( Y2 v> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
2 i* W% K! k7 C6 v8 K& c> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
+ |/ |7 l5 _/ X1 \3 I* x9 N  v> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >
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" K, J# r/ K" @. e( N- M> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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6 F; X: K& }# j' l> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
: M5 Q9 ~+ Q0 T> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
& |& a  a. u+ x) F8 ]+ J# T  o> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
2 a+ W9 K/ k- M: o. b  y# m# i: k> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
" N  k, w, h/ n4 R; U  w5 z( ^/ m> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
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' A5 z# L2 l8 S4 f> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
9 \: P3 b; A3 j- S2 O, q> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
/ Q! O8 h- {  ]. T. s/ z# x> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business