Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
! {3 |1 g# M* j6 K3 x1 E> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
; q- e$ W  a; M/ F3 d+ D, A1 ?>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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8 f8 w5 `0 @* b0 F/ b> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
- ^0 u/ J+ }0 K; L6 R# r* c>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
, T- j( ^1 H# V9 k$ C> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
. H) M% j6 o4 t6 Q/ b> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
( r7 b' D, _7 m/ v6 A/ {1 d> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
: N, P2 C3 i6 p. x: K& }( I> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
8 a$ q  P3 \: x- A& N" H8 n> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
  W) l0 g) u0 O+ b- X' K7 T> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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& z  R& c7 p* S$ q> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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# [' T4 V5 Q. K8 k6 P> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
+ d- l. V6 I, G/ C4 g7 b$ J- C> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
2 ~9 W# x4 g! Z; q2 g0 p> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
5 f$ H3 r/ W. z9 B> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
; I( B1 V3 L; f! g, M, K" T! v> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
, g2 z" Q1 B3 R6 j; m> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
+ E; ~. k+ f: k# W# e& P) a> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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- b3 f' y0 B; }> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
# \# d& }8 _" J/ h0 Y> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
0 A* g2 l3 D9 v( U> > > >same sentence twice.
' V1 K  J/ D/ A1 X3 C( n: ]> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
) n9 ^# ~0 a9 Q6 S  H. d> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
0 M& a; _6 m$ q6 Q8 F6 }( P> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
5 [4 P! p- I; Q8 k' n  L> > > >beautifully."
7 l5 R5 {: w: W6 O5 {> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
0 b. n' R1 y7 e  I7 n> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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7 E, r  R/ i  D6 O> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
' M! I" `4 @0 U> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
1 B( S' M8 [5 Z3 d. O! K1 e> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business