 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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( X3 H" N& N- I- H) z# R+ qWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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. Y: S( l& o6 ^, j' \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.5 U$ Q" z; p& ? \9 B0 `0 N- t
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 8 A6 r% K( H! V$ }
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 Q% M6 D+ w8 ?6 D% `3 C" Q
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. , I3 L( i9 E+ q; S
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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2 g: L L B7 N" V2 _/ _5 HWash your hair again to make sure it's clean." V0 s* {6 @$ V4 ^
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..% \( m( C2 O; }* O* U* B4 q
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.: n; X! m, L7 `: z" `/ j' u! R
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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! P+ ?; ]* N* o. O+ ~" k3 ESpray mold spots with Tilex.
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% E' z: P3 S7 S N6 a i0 XGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * B! o4 u+ U; l7 |7 k6 o
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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8 ^8 y* C4 H- ~; N9 dReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & \( _& ~9 j0 s" _: D9 O' s
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 Z# S$ ]$ g5 B
+ n" V. t# D* JTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ; ^+ s9 D4 g1 Y+ _
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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8 u4 b8 R: c& m" S$ ?5 E* `If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' b, h0 j4 A/ ~1 E4 G5 U8 u
0 C6 A' [$ `: ]. lLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 B* p2 `' ^: r: z7 u$ a# X9 N
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % \" p2 d. f, N. q+ I0 p
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. # }7 g) _3 ?. U" r" ?
% p O5 ^# i( U2 o, Z: ? X' Q* p! T8 PFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : k7 s: Q5 y- C; Z4 n- i8 f% N
2 J$ t W$ E9 ~8 I: X7 p) \Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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$ Y' Z/ h$ a) C, l' SWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ' i1 ^5 Z( q, a5 x& b
' n3 M, o9 L9 ^; h, Q" wPartially dry off.5 n; F$ w; K4 Q( P2 w \8 k% l5 I7 W
" U" u2 |' g; [2 W) u$ wFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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' k5 |6 f% a, T, }, i- X. RAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 0 J5 x9 t+ h$ `; Y& n# m! `/ \# A* m
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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* l! n4 H& j, o3 XReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 j+ I& }# }# K2 ?& v1 { z
J7 h/ Z) {, \0 g, qThrow wet towel on bed. ' ]1 y" G; T# s c5 P4 D; t: a) O+ f+ S
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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