 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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$ c. q+ }; C1 ?# Y. O1 `6 w {Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 f1 {7 } ~; w) K( _6 d- L+ V" ?
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & O- Q, T) A Y9 P1 u
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.! |3 f3 k/ }' b0 J; K; Y. c" I% \6 h) n
) I, v$ Q4 U+ c6 CLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- : P+ ^& n9 c$ e1 f& C4 H3 Z9 k9 }# [
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 m/ z' X2 u2 j1 c
, k' ~- K) \2 z7 r8 JGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; M$ _/ k. N: Q4 m
: _6 R- |9 K- J9 g, G5 L: xWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. - r, ~5 |- {, o& V; n+ h8 z2 W8 u
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced../ U0 u* {7 N9 P! L6 u8 C
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. & a! Y/ g# A" z6 z$ M
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.& D3 a1 V! P1 M4 ^! y3 F8 g4 j
5 }5 R( o4 S2 S5 R8 m( U2 vTurn off shower.
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" G& K2 Q! p0 I9 { hSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. , U" I' s$ u: C' H3 y9 o5 ]+ m
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , Q; B% T3 F0 K/ M5 O
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. & i& ? u. m* ?$ w% j3 ?. y8 Z
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) G$ W( ~- a, \9 R8 R5 nHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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) N3 Z1 M3 i7 i, nTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 9 n& { I! L/ j) S
/ F) V$ `* [1 eWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) ?5 [% D3 E9 o: H2 ]2 ]
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 b; }$ |$ J; u
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 8 _9 r4 k+ H1 ?
, j1 s2 I* W/ u) WGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . A& d) X1 `4 U2 C+ z x/ @
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 Z3 j: d7 q/ t& D
5 o3 ?5 W2 X6 f O. H+ k& [* m8 `Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 w; j* q6 }% P
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Pee.
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8 F* E/ K- q* m# f. JRinse off and get out of shower. 7 t# D% E6 B2 A c+ ~- t) c
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Partially dry off.; P! g8 o: U' n* m$ a
7 m$ x/ C# j" U" y# j& e1 \. M1 fFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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1 _ a( z9 e1 W6 w. YAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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4 U3 x0 r9 \9 S" k: |If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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