 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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: k' s8 V* T' Y. n: _ `+ l1 n2 Y: fTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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" H2 N0 a5 h! `$ l: C8 ~& ]2 tWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. " f8 R( E( j( |+ @5 {
- k4 v; x3 j. X MIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.: `2 y* S' k4 }7 @
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- : v+ I: e5 S! E3 p. k8 X
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; i0 h# F: { s/ j# F; y$ _1 M3 h6 d
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ! d& }/ g( W. W
. ?2 R4 r4 r1 f( zWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.) @$ X+ ~9 z+ i/ |* w; _
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. m3 s1 H/ f4 L/ z V9 v
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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- k6 o! ^/ I1 N3 ASqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. / C, q3 r- l. _; M
8 d0 O+ @4 z) @8 p. w$ C2 iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. + u& y: P* j7 |% e8 X
5 x( u9 t2 a- v& s" GWrap hair in super absorbent towel. / O, I% M+ g* g5 L. m( @' y
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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) e. P) p ^" X* N) TIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 5 |" C; W4 I, ?8 r9 r7 d B) k" K
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- p+ e6 f0 ~( n: {4 {6 vHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % S/ [9 ^& C5 @3 t0 i" D- B
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 g$ o; b1 m& m/ v2 B
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 P) P5 f0 e W) B! R$ |
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. & N5 j2 D0 T( x' S) O
5 A+ P/ H( M! {) G+ k" Y, [* RBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 ^( d+ ~/ r' i7 @
' ]( p2 @5 n: {$ l8 NFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + @2 |2 e$ n4 y0 C
) n4 L8 D- s$ F. JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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n& R- K2 _4 I! l4 D1 ?) IWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 2 l; Z% I6 ]/ v6 V8 o9 R9 }/ x
; w1 w# d7 f, Q9 n' CWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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: ]% z. Z; I2 I* H9 t& vPartially dry off.& f9 f4 [# _* z( m& R
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 1 M" h+ M( e: v0 ~( D4 L( x
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. & W0 `% U4 _# T" A- E: ]% E& z
# r6 O8 Y! h8 [+ }$ P& _& R: U& PReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. % n- |/ L" j' I$ A
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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