 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : , ?5 \7 D5 S9 G- m8 P
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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2 s' F& z- v; W. XWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % W1 L* M$ m' ?. A
: }1 w$ j e- ^* e/ G. ~If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.8 ]' a. \6 ^& P+ T$ Y
* N9 w" j+ ^/ y. A w" z; Q' ELook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
1 M$ S; ] I! P7 T1 imake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc." }" v0 z, O' N$ H" m. \1 w
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " j5 r7 ?7 g2 `
6 H+ o8 j4 s1 W1 S8 _: Y) ~ {: ?; cWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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! h% s# K( ^" }1 k3 T4 F# z' \Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. # `, W! h9 [4 G
8 X# X0 d u; S6 q! P0 HWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ V P; l1 a9 m' ?; `8 X
! S0 Q+ v9 C% T2 x6 j5 @4 a6 A& _Rinse conditioner off hair.+ s! ]7 r0 \2 O, X. T% m
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.4 A! X( n# z1 K ^$ m! d7 b% ^
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. , k4 O1 `$ N( d4 }+ W
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. / E$ n4 d. Q' {9 j$ a
& M# \. C6 F" N1 O* X' mReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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( l' D7 ]" x- E) Z% DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # d& T$ V0 K3 w; |$ n3 V \
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4 E1 u" {) Q( E3 k& i! QHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom. m" U/ A9 _! b- |) u7 a% g
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 [/ s- m& l: ~, D% v
2 v8 w( l: w( o, u: w) O% B2 {. ?Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. & t* p* z- j0 E8 u- G) p
$ s0 \2 p2 B" G/ P3 N7 IGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. $ l5 Q% H! R4 y1 Y% u9 e" `2 y
3 \1 b$ Q6 i& ?7 w0 Y. wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. % f5 j* w& C0 R; u6 W" D F% q
% d* B2 t" m! b$ R3 w) ISpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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6 X( @, ~: m9 l. I; H# p" cWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. - u5 v% G7 ^8 d; |: T
9 ~% U8 G( O3 |8 l7 M' OWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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% E- ]. N* w9 j. Z+ CPee.
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/ S/ a6 q z3 uRinse off and get out of shower.
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8 m: R: R B- hPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 7 ~# F0 D# d p+ r
5 y5 g# G8 C" B/ R+ f4 EAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 2 P, z. a: L) \3 i) A. D7 w( A
N+ [* E3 d; f6 h+ yIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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