 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 {' O. G" }% ?' ]
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 [/ Z- R- u2 j5 c, e; H* a: {
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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0 F9 L5 v! r" f% yIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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* n& n$ l: p- T/ S3 cLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* H5 |" P# j2 U. c$ M& pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ @" U- U0 _. V
$ P* p4 N- }0 X. C6 {6 w1 MGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 5 |2 }. T6 S! z u
* P4 [& c+ X: G- zWash your hair again to make sure it's clean. t5 u. A1 j( }+ f9 C, f
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..% k2 k+ Q$ L/ ^% b, F9 g
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. & t, }. f/ k0 k9 t: _4 u
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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X- L8 E) }* }9 uRinse conditioner off hair.9 w1 ~7 i9 {/ } e1 _: R/ K
% X% o; o( {" l6 I) mShave armpits and legs.# G6 @2 o! }6 b- h9 y% p- o
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Turn off shower.1 t n; _, t4 T1 k# m
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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' d: A9 M7 d6 @% C4 B7 g3 B. HGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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0 c/ J; T4 ?3 `7 i# L) h) SWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 `1 S5 q2 B1 A1 P( f
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ! b* t8 \: [; ?9 ~ j. i" N% Y
: I( ~8 C# }; P7 c% E, j5 {If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & D1 ]6 i3 H; k* T
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : ?/ y4 t$ ?# w4 @9 Q+ u
+ a7 P6 i0 h: f4 H( B& u( P, ?Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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6 B4 N5 r( @: u! D+ k- J* OWalk naked to the bathroom.
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& N. S) M$ ~% k9 B# CIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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* y' |* \, B; ^3 i1 wLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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6 ]0 p. \- Z9 R. F! @Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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$ w# w" _1 }' EBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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2 U9 _9 h9 _! y( @Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ( L) v0 N2 c. ]2 H
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. . a; G' g1 O& |8 z" c
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 Y* w# w0 W5 t6 M0 ^
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off. u( ^" R7 k7 A. t5 e, @2 [" E
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( e. F# H0 X/ A
8 A0 F" A% a$ J6 |% a& gAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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3 e( h9 o C& B6 x& BLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. * {2 H1 t( J9 V- u! y) p
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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