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. A& B# V" D; c2 g) w8 Z1 XWhy did God make mothers?' {5 c" \2 o4 Q( ?0 l
1 [" `& x7 Y6 c$ T: n1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is., P2 X! i3 F" ]* S
2. Mostly to clean the house.
8 t. ~. b0 t1 p3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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. x5 Y) n) a1 y. eHow did God make mothers? 1 x6 @- B4 y, ^5 C
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
0 M2 [8 G& M" k# D+ h$ t9 ` \ @" ?2 T0 j2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. . o7 C& c6 ~/ g4 c
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. + E# n% [- P( z$ z1 U8 B
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
$ y1 Q; q8 ~6 z% P: A, y' X, I1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. " O' m {' Y, q3 O. y" \! @& P
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 8 o) W n, d! s# H
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? ' y, r) _9 N. d
1. We're related.2 R2 p/ M% R: ]5 e
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. X0 J, ^! G2 D& C" s
3 B7 ^+ t$ n' E e k' N$ |5 }. JWhat kind of little girl was your mom? ! y. f; j: U9 k2 @" Y' x; C
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
& S6 f+ o6 x" j, A( y2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
( w! [ u4 J5 H( p2 X3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? . P- Q8 Y, X3 Z
1. His last name.
1 b+ |9 _ Q2 r* z2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
s6 l0 [! q9 C F; n' [+ m/ ~0 ?3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? : D* ^1 g, ?7 h
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
/ f3 `9 a7 T( h/ d1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
" N" D! Q, N7 }1 j2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 6 z h0 _! j$ C
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. ) x" C4 l8 p4 l% M! k
2 T4 ~: X, L. ?( J Y7 `& H& m6 fWho's the boss at your house?
3 s8 `5 r# e- O5 [1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2 p/ `6 r3 I9 G/ T* Q. _; W# X
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.# g# N) x( @1 L' n' T c" _; E
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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1 |8 J8 |3 D" S! yWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
1 D0 W7 F+ y; ~7 X( p9 ~1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
! V" b" G0 u0 x; Y b( f+ ^2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
% s8 U. |1 G3 [. T3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. $ l z4 q8 y5 r4 {
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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; _* Q% X1 T! l4 T% JWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
, g3 Q9 n2 P# G2 l, M1. Mothers don't do spare time.: e5 C4 ?$ I5 B' O1 n) b0 q; L
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 4 l1 x" b9 S! N; `9 I- A9 w# v
% n) p# ?/ X+ K: o; ?. ~( k7 eWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
0 G. o% o: k; h5 ^' x% k1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
+ p3 a' c; P- O; V& O/ I2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. 1 {+ `! d/ o Z- s
+ _- c- [0 w/ }9 I0 e0 w& ]If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 3 l$ S8 D. V4 _2 G' R- D
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
M" |% y/ Z+ A2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.) e( g' K8 h8 D5 w1 J
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. ; E2 x' R+ |! A! W* H+ {
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