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Why did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
$ V K4 q$ @6 f6 v- t' G# W2. Mostly to clean the house. 4 }- J/ b9 Z; [# `- H
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 0 s* y, E6 x& Q
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How did God make mothers?
% R) F; Y+ S8 ~1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
/ X0 [& Z1 N! L2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
( F; a' [$ o/ J2 L. h8 ~! c+ V3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. $ I/ F1 D* r* K! ]+ U
2 U( ]$ K) l, E" YWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? & a- g6 W5 `% u7 Q
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
& ~6 L! r3 C/ L7 h2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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- W9 B. b& U9 M8 NWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
. I. [; t7 F5 ?! }+ N' I1. We're related.
8 M4 j% i7 M1 `4 u0 Y% p4 c2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
2 d. z1 _( z6 P: i& [% R1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
: i( n4 i: m& v1 ?8 V2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
* x" g4 c- K% L3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
% T1 K+ i1 @! f: m) ^6 M$ m ~1. His last name.
5 X/ ~) P: v8 T- u! ?- R- p- S2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?* f& B1 j! P6 \
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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: i2 U; O- V2 A% Z8 YWhy did your mom marry your dad? / t4 L* B( `5 X9 k; C# N1 F
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
9 G$ x4 J& G9 {2. She got too old to do anything else with him. + A) J/ U* |; ]1 K* x) ]* c: n
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house? b# o6 o- k; a1 }1 E9 A
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
0 B6 ?5 I1 a9 |- @1 K2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.2 ]3 H* z; U! Z. C4 K& J8 v
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ! l2 e5 y! f& f4 W+ |2 t7 j2 S
1 _' X# i" t$ r/ l) UWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
) ?5 g- E- i' ^& N' P. {1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. * N7 I- N7 L0 O* s; b- w2 g1 D
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
c+ L6 L" Z/ C& L, `. ] X* G1 B! t3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. ' G1 Q: G- ~" v0 U2 N
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
" |0 k! r3 W- M1. Mothers don't do spare time.: H2 q6 l6 k$ R2 e, I6 J" O
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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+ ?/ _: N8 y0 WWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
3 F- C+ p S! s; H- Q9 {$ D& F1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.' w; n1 ^. d2 j+ R$ a9 a3 f, E! @8 l
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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1 a$ f) O6 f; wIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
C" ?4 g' @3 }' Q' a1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
8 a& `( ]) F0 c2 @ Z2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
7 g/ [# J5 R1 f- t* r. s4 w3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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