请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
$ x6 |* C7 G+ aBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
4 A' y, a# F1 M& Q7 c5 b$ jHowever,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
" V, _+ C! w. V- z! p  Y# qThanks a lot!!!

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8 _- _* L) X* d! n$ Y* ?7 ]; R" VFormerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
& ]4 o1 p% o# o2 Y# m              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
2 B+ [7 r- d# M2 k0 b# w# p              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
8 u$ A/ c1 V8 Q) m9 F              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
* h1 C$ E* M& r4 v+ eHowever, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
+ c* y# W  s6 t8 C( a6 f( _- H             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
7 B8 z0 g. S& m             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
! b# r8 w3 ]8 n6 X6 P- c             somehow I lost myself inside again
Now,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
: K- p" @/ E# x& m! Q* w             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
Finally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
) B8 a5 d  I- H* N$ ?But........         
2 m* f" F8 x. `$ NIronically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

3 i% E; @; t0 i; ^卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？
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Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
4 c2 Q3 t. w: I1 F( @3 e' I; c/ eSomehow I'd find something wrong with us
' s) \! b* ], C3 u* ~Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
% |* V. J, `; aSomehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
# I) L4 [' \/ `/ y: n1 qSomehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
' g2 a7 [6 H) ^7 Y# K) m2 PSomehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness
& H" q' ]3 W# }
Somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
* L+ B, d6 ?+ T! x2 t! t" d5 lSomehow I realized you were still in my heart
! T$ r+ B* ~$ ZSomehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
Somehow I lost myself inside it again

Somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
% Y) ^8 `, J5 R5 E8 c5 ISomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
================================================
However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday
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somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
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somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
& k! M3 [& L$ g4 H; q' d我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

$ v' @- G  l# W哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？