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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.* Z3 h' B+ D( N% x
7 \# u z2 R& }1 @. a+ U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" k: O2 J, u. Z5 c' L# }; N
hospital.
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/ n" X3 x+ A( X6 L+ } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& \# W$ B5 x8 e9 Z/ Xcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; Z7 F. }( g2 L. u' K6 O# m9 x! C
' l# B+ s8 ?# \& L- K/ ? 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( W* k" u2 `6 z% n4 F$ Q* J1 Ncapital of Canada .6 l. {# c% E0 t/ U& [: K
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 z- @9 w# M" e* F2 _
$8.00/hour.+ L, b8 K$ r y0 t
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% Q* m+ E% N; W. {
0 ?" q3 w- ], S. { 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 q; E9 [) k! Y0 q; f! o
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" T% c# s/ }+ l2 Q) O/ W$ E' F3 _6 oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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6 X* c, V6 L* a! C* v10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ e- d# M8 s. U6 J' }4 {
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& C3 A! R0 ~6 V% L1 f% b: |
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.3 l; J. Q' L$ H% S7 V( P
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. y$ _4 j- l0 @: w- w' M THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) w/ f. p5 S' u% d: \! v
: w: k a% B M2 Q; ~3 J1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- n4 n6 l* L" x0 B2 c! z+ r) V( U
5 `$ t" ]8 h( E1 d8 ^$ r2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 x7 j+ b7 c7 Q4 |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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f% \0 P% M+ z* n2 |. y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( n9 w: j9 J* o1 m! M% k ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest1 ]* }6 k& r3 S
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: `# H) e5 @8 h" z2 |2 M
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ ]7 [6 r+ M2 U7 p7 J' l3 f$ R8 gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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8 R9 y% U! S+ i0 F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 t$ u' t1 F8 b6 @# V5 d1 ucan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- Z; f9 P$ o" d3 C2 W$ Q& ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. G" x3 o p6 e% O/ [8 Y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( b2 F. u, Q; c5 w# W
more construction starts everyday.
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& e6 N" M' L1 O% R 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,. q1 Z3 |$ h4 Y9 d1 `1 r
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 ?1 \1 q( y* L) N# j: T [squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.9 W( b( X% S7 B& s1 H6 L# [
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' e* S6 B# z- U3 X1 p
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 r* e5 g' J$ [3 ^8 |$ N. Cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally- m O/ L" ^5 j' L% t0 o# \- e
activated."
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, m) }9 T$ D: v7 D10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km. A& l5 s1 g. F3 f2 k- |
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": a a2 r* x. o! t% r7 o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 n! `- `" f+ Y. Y+ t! j" v
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ f+ W, f# A/ M7 u- ^6 Nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" ]& X& g6 n( R; Q0 H: Kblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. m3 k8 Q N0 H- ]! d# V# P
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
