送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA


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1. Bring your own house.

  @" e- w" |/ _0 b! F6 y7 c 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
7 ]) U6 ]  a1 q! bcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ s. g7 G) o' n. ton a 15 year holiday ?

+ D" _- L5 U" y2 X$ ? 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

# l  J# D1 M( C10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, o9 W0 e+ G: k+ c8 H% ~, Uhere sick.

6 ]% V& r3 Q7 n: V1 O11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 _7 \0 b! [& f/ Vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* L( [( |5 s8 c! l1 _own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
  I; G  b) H7 k- O' Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 s' ^+ I/ Z7 t  p- Wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

! t3 w! F( |9 }5 E3 q1 ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

" I+ ]( H' t+ _( }, Y% P6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ J7 U, d$ D+ i8 w; t9 i9 Y5 E# ]more construction starts everyday.
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; e4 ?, L) c: j  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
. J' s) v! X4 d" s( Z7 @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- v, q! K1 O1 fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ B/ v2 l) ~$ J) Kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
* l, Q. x; [- ~- u& f0 [) ^& oactivated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 r# R4 E9 D/ ~: K: ]: y# N5 v" Iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! P& B* e; v+ ^3 Y# v- xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

* {" L4 G% e9 [. e$ T+ U有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
" ]2 }( w' ~" ?- _满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% t- F4 q" O1 |' t  g9 Y  b, t0 F朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* Q. J5 [/ J6 m6 q满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
0 |2 d2 [2 U! \* U ...

! B0 v3 X$ N4 Z 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


3 V5 m  I- y: r, g 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
( f2 J5 x; D' x( e) m5 M: b- T朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
9 {' s' h6 C4 U5 [5 Z8 V满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

- S" D. B9 Y8 t* Q你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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9 D8 ~! J3 c5 j6 H2 G再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.