 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
0 d' w/ E& e/ v2 q( s/ P7 k9 {
8 R/ P" f. v/ _6 F# P( r3 M0 x, ?9 \% O4 A L: p' d. m7 G6 G
5 S7 e. V) r+ |( S* v# k& M 1. Bring your own house.
& L( f* W: [3 P; [' {2 ^ {
6 p- A- I% P) i% X 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and: n9 }/ b! D4 g. u
hospital.* U' A1 y5 ^2 I( `
; {# n$ b/ } H7 u
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& X, {) |7 u( a- W" A$ F( u
capital of Canada .
1 { M0 j4 }6 v8 S8 L, W- O: {6 K6 @# ^4 I9 }7 v2 `
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
# v! S2 m1 @8 Y* U4 o- a
2 E' a6 J8 H2 p 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( q" {2 j( `/ n0 `! j: |capital of Canada .
* g( Z6 @! W* c3 G: E! x1 F! U
5 [/ C7 {+ P b* ~. r) ?) G 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 O, g: C: w7 i: Y$8.00/hour.
% t# y" `2 \! s9 y- w v! `- E2 k7 N6 ]! |: R# D7 {
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# i- T n4 b @# z3 t, b' c
$ f; d" J7 @' @& ^$ u* B 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 Y% z5 o! j4 ?7 ^# Hon a 15 year holiday ?% ~+ @# ~( b0 N* a& r* q6 o
9 b& z6 O7 J) R3 x8 x# u 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, R Y0 H( J; F, G$ n; {
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
R) X3 j2 d: n7 B9 d: I# ~" i' z
0 K: e p$ b# G- _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 P# W! ^5 J) v6 B4 c0 J$ z
here sick.
5 H3 \" ?' T0 X. X- D* y/ g$ X6 Y% P
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ o# N3 b! m% O' a3 Y* K& t
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
3 g2 H6 }: u5 P! ~: L, l7 ?2 k& L/ ^7 ~" X, o; j
& m# O L* j! y( t* Z1 R" q6 K( p& D1 M! t# x% z
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
/ ^ O) |7 k# [2 b. ~% k& s* \
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# ?. q3 f7 v% \6 \
; K8 E- L; X/ b8 j6 H% T3 q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour4 G1 z X! Q# m0 z1 q" Z( [. v
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
8 f' v# N/ j2 M( h" Q- }8 {% G# g# x c
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' k; Z5 H! V6 ], V. y5 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* V9 D4 A( t3 I8 a
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ m' }* p; I; R* Qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
' W/ R3 ?1 A" ?8 s: \* ^3 [phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., K7 f# d+ b6 t1 M) w0 N
% F6 ]# Q4 p/ A1 ~# T1 L2 a0 { `
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& M4 i L" |9 |4 ^- U
cussed out, and possibly shot.
( U+ ^6 ~5 x/ O3 I, \% A
, O1 D n# ?) D" V8 l2 |" X9 q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 S5 D- n4 ^( p9 pcan get you shot.
% M/ w. C% i- |$ c
' _6 W" F# I. `9 w, S& [6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ [' o* h0 }* U
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 K) _9 A) {8 [: Aday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" L& N9 M6 Q" r: u6 M0 Kmore construction starts everyday.$ F, L8 O9 k( U: m
* q- b j1 x* l" z( g
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ O! R: d- L9 c- O. P3 x
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 V4 h. `, b f& `) e- ^: u6 e* csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
! X4 j5 o- U" `' G
$ i( k5 S+ j. E0 w( S9 E8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( k" G! X2 I- Ythe same road.: ?9 B% e- s* }# }2 z
' x) `& O, p i1 d. p% z6 J
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 s5 \) C8 N4 K m6 z$ Z% t, n1 zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ X0 c, y& E. B* b0 |1 f, U& m, ]
activated."
; X3 p/ ]* A5 F
" l: t0 ?- q, `8 H2 q B4 O10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ @# B& r' `, m3 e$ V. m
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 D0 l. R( L9 c9 G
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
: R8 c I/ b4 P. \1 E; W3 i
7 q4 }1 C# G; z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, d& N) T# _$ t9 B& olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* v6 |( \3 ^4 s5 v( y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is: [2 R$ o3 F1 o7 I) V
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
