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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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! B+ S7 _) x( R3 T 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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& r2 _9 s, M1 x0 P# Z' b F: D 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder b1 y/ R) T$ r. l& Y
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* z' ], G/ t9 U9 w1 Z
capital of Canada .9 y/ y" v; d* V# m: `/ U
% g2 [ N, g# s( L8 j6 i 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 P) m3 N% n+ ] g$8.00/hour.
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% G/ O1 `0 c1 r8 v/ v 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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% |+ ^/ Z/ _0 a5 [9 `3 V 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: E6 B) I, [2 c. ^on a 15 year holiday ?
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+ L2 X, e. R( D; n2 x* N- T0 O 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 i( B# c( [: P; K: r6 ?( Qprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); r1 G( W0 l" i- x: }; T2 l0 G! i
# F- ?2 E0 g+ n: u) u8 \1 e3 p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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' @+ `4 r* Y/ @5 h* ]/ |6 M& v11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! C+ z( f0 \7 z$ N3 x7 vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :& o- O, ~5 j1 ^0 m# t" L
4 I( M3 C9 g( q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' x$ t) M; |: g2 w3 Bis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ Q# X: a; X3 l4 r9 t/ {, f( {/ {
% u3 V3 \3 q& N: |3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: j( x, H) Q$ ?; ^; |4 Down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) X( \3 a8 o3 p' H# ~9 R% ^
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ Y0 Y/ { M7 ]
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
& p0 U- \3 D4 f! _1 ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; Z, O1 H p$ }8 h0 y
) J% C* p# O' \2 ]4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 ?6 C; |7 @( o' }: c4 }( zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' U1 F3 }6 F$ X- q2 r1 w% {
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 B$ y3 ^/ w; f! q, w
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* D* I& G6 x6 r% `* k9 F% w. U: U4 ^
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 H4 V; Q% |, D k) ^& x7 ~3 f1 |
more construction starts everyday." s) J1 G4 M* X9 v: C/ U J9 S2 Q
: x" {6 O8 h" v& w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# C1 M' V" Z( c! `& K% l) |+ }# ~# kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 U8 i. J* Q- f1 `& y: l$ f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 L" G, t6 ]( N+ P) c" t+ O7 X
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' j- ~+ H b0 b( `9 z
the same road.& ]/ t' S$ q% @# [& G1 C G
2 c# u, ]1 z. X2 e" D$ O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% r+ a) W1 ? ~+ _. ~/ d% qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally- b& T' w! ]8 ]' W# L! |
activated.". z/ h2 D* S) k+ H' |
* Q& w' W9 {4 p' v: g/ W10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; K! X8 ^3 n9 o9 y( i3 G$ R, O$ l0 O
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ _! X# v. W" e" a+ { t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ H4 D' O' a% L5 Hlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 {% h7 h7 t _: P6 {9 r# z9 L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- p" S1 }2 _/ [ o# o' A4 q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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