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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house. A7 H U9 M1 P2 E3 |) c# O$ N
6 \5 V- e* Y4 t, g4 |# v9 H# s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* a: `* a! p/ y( I2 d
capital of Canada .3 q# B f8 H: J2 C
* E3 x5 H$ c: ~ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .- S: J# _. q8 }7 W8 ~
: k% \* E3 X* G7 N' T8 d 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# U9 h2 X3 s" R+ a0 r; x% M Z! N, Pcapital of Canada .& ~" `4 v" y' J b* e. E/ O0 S8 @
4 J, \8 M6 {. @7 U2 a9 S( G 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: e# I" W+ ]& u5 r2 ]2 j u$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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4 ?+ y5 T, a# y. c7 V 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ D7 @, k/ Z3 T- C! _on a 15 year holiday ?. C. T9 j- S, c! V2 f( Q
. v5 x3 y% u$ }; D 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 Q Y1 m1 @2 D2 B
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 x3 n. ~. F: U- D
j+ o$ P6 y9 s* }4 h% v U10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
n' o% `( K' c# @9 Qhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 Z( ^) F+ v. i! e; D: c& Z) @9 Oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# g/ |& x1 K# e% x) ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 m1 h, M& G! b( `( ~' r- j
7 f' |0 E+ ?$ B& X# u. \2 @! e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- T1 B- n1 ~4 K
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- b! G3 I. E( }3 `& _; P1 ]muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires; e) h4 x! l* ?! g1 L
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- ~) z7 `+ _* X6 w
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! U) i, u$ |5 Q$ ?1 z3 U6 Y# B# Z
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 M9 r+ j/ H6 E( @( e5 O- l% dcussed out, and possibly shot.* E2 z* G4 n7 L/ C g4 v
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# t! z' s& s1 p l. ?can get you shot./ S* a3 K/ U, E" R
d+ h, `! u# t$ C, B6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! a8 [. {6 I) h3 W! Jbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 b7 g! |1 B4 s% t- Vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( m3 `; A5 L1 z# q1 Z# M! p; Rmore construction starts everyday.' n" K# H4 w1 Y3 L$ a7 p
/ e" `# G/ j& d 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- {4 {, X2 M( K; ~& |7 j; N) V
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& A6 [ v" D5 f8 \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. N; ~. X0 J) ^. `$ y1 t% e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ v0 _% ~% q0 x7 ]/ S6 X
the same road.8 W0 Z: R) G9 A3 N+ g2 Q- g
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ v8 _ E3 ~9 U0 c/ N3 Z" R
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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2 l" } \' f9 m ~/ b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 I1 m7 H' b, N- ?1 bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 Y& X3 c* E/ j7 haccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' I" _2 A5 H# V
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' D- x/ ?1 O% I) W _7 G3 B
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 h4 J" [) C0 T) X( h% ]
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is% v) c/ h; \! O, \0 Z9 A" o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
