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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- G6 R1 L/ Q$ J: a, z& P
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, V6 O4 M1 ^, y 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! i9 ~1 X: d- k, l6 d/ }% d
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! {0 B; l: H: }9 w1 H& z/ u' [
capital of Canada .* p2 ]3 _5 s% f4 A9 }; T* S
5 L$ h$ E! B+ f/ } s 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 p* P& \$ @! q" ]& C( \+ gcapital of Canada .
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. G7 H8 z7 @1 k* G2 E! p2 r# U 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is3 t& ~5 h9 N; v1 P# s( @5 W( Z9 z3 }
$8.00/hour.
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8 M/ S% y2 N# C/ k" N9 t 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 m' Y3 d5 Z- P/ ~
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" s2 c" a0 T) x% c; Jon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 R2 M4 k, C! h# q! T# x
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! b" l" S f* p) g* o
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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/ P, t' t/ f t: i- M# h11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 ]) {2 X6 _% u# k' A6 W
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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, x$ d- [) z6 E. _% x! B6 m) m+ j, M THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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% ~7 Q* j/ J% I2 _) A, Z. N1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 F! e) r/ @; b" J+ G N0 I2 r
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 S. c# k6 z) M. g/ N
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: e) X9 Q9 ]. _
" S. Z7 U' `) u. @ R3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 b: S) I5 y: C5 J" Q
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: q! j; ?0 w, V! n6 a
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% o7 Y2 I( m b2 Xgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- Q; m3 h( ]' ^3 dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.. c. x [" S. b3 a% L0 S
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: X, x5 {2 n, L" T5 C0 Y
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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' H" i, x( q0 \3 E& ]0 r5 W l' o5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 h+ Y( x& F, ~9 scan get you shot.8 i) j0 Z* q- R; z9 J2 {, n# v% B# X
W' Q* }$ X% M, ]4 h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 Q7 |3 N5 h+ M
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% ]$ e2 D9 C* e% Y) D
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 o+ m6 D6 P* T9 ?7 u% s
more construction starts everyday.
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" _- k! X3 g* D6 z5 z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 F( V. P5 q' N% L7 s6 i
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ h9 C0 J/ I; b- d1 vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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2 W2 m+ ^& s U U8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 |1 ^% m/ \, O5 nthe same road.! N* h |) `- O' d
! ^+ y x! g k/ b. ~9 J+ q9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ t- d* u2 _' B4 s
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
X; l7 L% m% Czone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% l9 }2 Q. x9 v0 r; g+ G5 O3 Uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 e' L' R1 @5 ^( u11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 R5 ^3 A- b4 [; X1 ]& Xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ T6 M" h; P0 R$ @7 d/ U8 G9 B5 r
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 C' u5 g/ d4 Z. V- L5 f
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
