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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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( I1 h" ~- ]+ {) S% K1 {3 M 1. Bring your own house.( U0 K9 y" G- w) `. Q h
( o# ]+ b/ ~& z2 T 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and: U0 ~" V+ }2 D ]2 S* N
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. y U2 O/ \( d1 X+ b( w; K7 w( [
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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0 C8 k9 H% b% g$ g 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 O; c' g6 q7 @2 ^. X! A8 O- e" Y$8.00/hour.
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& D v% V' F" w+ \# a 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# g) M# U: W8 D/ o, X- g, J
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
' u+ H9 W8 ~0 F* ^on a 15 year holiday ?9 [. |) ]+ K' R; E
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( c2 _2 Y; y4 I/ {4 [prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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/ D- S; U4 w+ N! ^) |8 \+ {& r10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ D- T7 ]" B: k1 _6 khere sick.
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. K$ y9 I0 m- H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# ]+ @% A& X7 N9 g) ?6 b1 Z
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& F; x( n. d- v! o! G
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' w) [" |" S7 y7 F. V& x4 \% S! p1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 ]4 f& c* ]/ k' N# j
, t$ e( V- I( e' N8 R5 q" S2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' E+ z* [: X* C9 f% i! |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, b: b$ z% k. Z1 aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
l5 _8 H& u, @" l, z+ cmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& l' A# J7 ]5 M% l: E8 lgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
+ T5 M- u" w( h* T, h8 a1 M @) c# zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& j' C4 U0 c- P. s, n2 E! T2 I j
) ^0 q- F5 W0 J9 b4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# |8 L% j8 |3 C* d% Gcussed out, and possibly shot.5 e3 v7 M8 x" |; m
# h& g0 Y6 S( i) s5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ u) l; K$ L S( xcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 Q! J" [5 h* G
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
N1 W2 |% `; V8 Q! W) Cday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) _8 y+ h( M( A) n9 j
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
& c6 b; O2 z9 @ p: q/ Sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- V% f! t. V8 h3 e' \ i0 S! I
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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' m, L+ i P. z7 w6 Q8 ~0 C8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ i0 v; y3 O' c" F8 s/ K, @the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 ?$ g- R6 ~1 R% C, c8 K
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 ]5 V' ?3 W3 e
activated."* v/ E8 w7 _1 n6 e1 x! S
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ j' x" @ v4 U
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ Z# e( _ X( {' F" l/ \1 M! Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 H8 Y: C. [! Q' K
1 M( ]. X+ c6 }. } ?% @11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 B1 d9 |& M5 A( r9 S q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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