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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA5 |& l( ^' I: r& c
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 5 J7 N0 T6 [, F6 A% F9 f: f
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. $ s. C3 c$ G8 }3 e' _
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. ' h- a/ Q: p# c$ a9 S
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
' ~: A8 m- X- c& K6 A5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. - b4 ^- h4 g! T% U8 R& ^2 w. Q: `6 K! U
2. Ottawa who?
% n2 T2 M4 l7 N& ~, w2 S# @0 i% A3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
: F! D2 C4 u6 |. J4 ~9 `4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. " s0 v$ F b$ v* H3 t8 D( |
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 7 o& R+ v7 i# X0 Y$ R! ` W/ e
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. / L; | k2 G, p1 s9 D) S
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
0 C9 Y. T; n4 I; _7 _! G1 P2. Your province is really easy to draw.
) s: a9 @3 v: W- R3 f0 z; E3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
* e. H) x2 b* O& q# Q0 s! D8 [4. People will assume you live on a farm. ( j- r# V& o( O. E0 D8 }% f
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
' t* r; ^; I4 X; L7 ~" t a, k: f" J( j2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 9 s; l" X' P& |) x2 o* s
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
. N& K% x4 w* ^1 `5 E2 n: K4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
' M$ R3 W3 W1 e5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO # j/ w/ H) c$ m" A; n9 f
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. , \, X2 y- I- C* T# G
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
- l0 ?. c$ x. F3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
3 L! K- J/ J3 h+ `4 ~4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 9 ? a" I' w5 b8 K" }
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' A3 o, {* }5 C' p3 H! {TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
) T- u+ w3 x6 z6 A# _& |" ?- l/ ^2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
* R8 o7 T5 @ a5 v9 g3 z3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
' R, m6 ?% T7 ^+ O5 P4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *4 C& h( K U8 d! C. H
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 2 ~( ?: w. ` u2 b* ` A5 E
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. + f9 F, f" I/ z! S2 u% {
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. ' x; j4 V* j+ P7 x9 i* e0 `
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
7 b, m5 r: w! n* G( F+ T4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. / @0 V D4 e/ N4 d. @% X
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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% W1 c! f0 u( a3 C1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
: t* C. k5 p. k0 @9 Y0 x2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
8 w( [" s! a. O' N+ f# p V$ {3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. $ z, i; e7 g: b8 k2 R
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! @0 c ^) _2 f' }- `. x% x7 f" BTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 9 t* L( l/ C9 R5 P# I
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. - O0 O( Y1 G6 h2 D
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
; d; h3 z2 q& r% L3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
) I E s* y K( Y' C4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
' I7 C$ S, f" ~9 K) S" v5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
+ n; j# J# B- B6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ( w. a( \$ g8 f1 s2 t# }3 @ @
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% Y% G# ^9 Z. _* ETOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. " t: E/ N$ u7 R
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. ) Z# s/ i. Q% h1 {7 k+ {
3. The workday is about two hours long. 0 U2 m! V6 o w, Q! D: o
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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