 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
. V5 h5 J. H! q6 r$ Y请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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; M2 Q1 n9 a6 U9 x0 [5 u9 N1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
% l5 q8 x4 s& C- Z1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it- t7 Y7 f- x; [7 r! T0 n" c9 p
down.1 ^* Y; F6 I: T. p0 i$ z" o0 }
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
1 M$ n0 o) H1 t6 M$ {$ Nyou
/ p' O6 R3 Y& Y& d4 B/ Vleaving it down.' N: B& {7 `: F" }& m
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？, Q9 n6 Z; s Y( _* K5 |" ]3 S
4 J. p/ ^: c; I0 r7 p a1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
; n: T; C9 k& Z' i/ B: s! qLet it be.
1 `6 B" O- v% d5 {) ]4 Y4 C& z1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去1 r8 J( H8 p4 _ C% R9 _
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it7 K9 _' l: q: ?* D) \+ q8 n7 [
that way.
/ G% q0 S* U: p& H. W1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！1 |$ D( G% C$ g% d! Q
6 ~/ o. r1 @/ o; @1. Crying is blackmail.7 U+ h: C, ~$ Z. e+ A* W' l
1，哭泣是敲诈/ L8 q# Y! t$ q- }' `! u
, R, L+ @/ F9 X' U# ], R+ Y1. Ask for what you want.1 J, v+ a, ]0 g: ~* j* Z
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!0 v8 B4 r" U/ G0 c" f, G7 R
Strong hints do not work!* f# G! ?. Z) K r- i6 s' i
Obvious hints do not work!
" w" r( q `9 _Just say it!8 S$ R; {& }+ F4 G1 k: h
1，你想要什么就说
4 N- I6 u. v y/ _1 B3 j我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！) N% n& `6 r. }
! N3 I j7 F" h. E1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
; W# |+ x/ h8 squestion.
3 S+ t7 v( F" \& z/ S" [1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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/ q6 u; J( Q2 g2 u0 {0 ]1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's3 V- p" [4 Q* U% A; n" _: C
what we do.+ D) @) x( [- z, B. C
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 C3 v; c% i i1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。, S, L+ I" d2 ?4 ~ j7 |
& k! G; v) q% [: X1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
. C7 S6 d1 Q4 D) a1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去 T9 b( p6 H: k- e+ G7 p1 O
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
1 c0 C0 Z! N2 r/ W0 r+ e0 d# Y0 ]- aIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.' `! f" C) v3 H$ `' S
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了8 B2 J# i% U; J
! N9 H' W& k0 j% m1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
; b: j. n0 t, g4 \3 `' uto act like soap opera guys.
. B1 K: Z" e$ }: ?! p/ G1 m6 H b1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们$ n$ L! N; Y! ]" Y
l% E, ?4 A1 ~4 ^9 }0 }1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us." u" N8 c" p+ c1 ^8 F, L7 i# i
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们0 V! P( r& E9 y3 |
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
. C: _& l5 v8 Z# L7 F7 @makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one." L2 [1 f4 P4 b. }
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。( q+ J* e0 |- m% }1 D4 d& u
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
v) K) C& ?( v. Q, F/ X# @2 ]1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
: |4 B! h+ K- p: q D) O- S; tdone. Not both.) M1 w9 p% _# H) e4 ~
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.$ P6 ~' q9 U" Y2 p
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during: ~& d. K# g3 v$ H- e# l
commercials.& t7 U; n( p1 O& L$ y" {4 ^0 s" i" P3 l
7 D3 e8 `! s( w1 {2 ~2 k- ~1 d5 Y" q1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
1 `( z. i5 }$ f( O& iPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
$ I9 T6 H/ y# e8 F. U3 o+ rWe have no idea what mauve is.( x& V3 u( h+ y( v
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like/ ^' d9 _! Q# a- e5 ?4 R# B4 c
nothing's wrong.
: U9 B4 U( s* iWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle., ]2 u& Y, U1 c+ e; C4 Y; U) J% ^
% R5 V6 i$ \( B& V' c1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer% a0 J4 h l0 j8 b
you don't want to hear.6 j* O$ a: o& ?3 h9 i
8 v2 ~6 s( J; a! @) ?9 b, ?& R1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
( ~6 M. l0 ?& h d9 sfine...Really./ n) m; z- d- b. ]# ]
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
9 ]& b4 E/ |; Z! W% H% `2 |discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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# C+ y: A6 |, m8 H6 C1. You have enough clothes.0 p" A2 v0 S$ y# g% d% m: q, V
) `- t2 O& w; e, ]) b @1. You have too many shoes." x3 ]+ t0 m, Y6 I/ V/ c
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!( _/ M4 E a5 f" r/ z1 i H# z
" ^' p0 _# L% L$ A: y1. Thank you for reading this.
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7 h& }9 x _* @2 M( q& FYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
+ |% I( J8 d& s) w$ B+ zBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping./ U# B+ q) ~6 A3 o1 c
, h$ ]$ s4 n8 ~$ b/ S5 L$ sPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.+ J& q& u" t2 E2 |0 I9 \4 q" Y* o
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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