 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
4 y0 a, F) w; h5 C( C& U6 u4 L请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写; i' Z& q( S3 Y: Z
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.) J# l: | j Q K! ]
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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6 I) R5 m4 _6 C2 j: E# q& v! r1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
0 d2 D( V. Z7 a8 Y2 ^down.
7 J! E( y0 d+ h6 q' \8 t3 E0 sWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about $ t) q7 ~* e6 |0 o, f) p
you% m& ^( Z% T6 [ f6 p) N
leaving it down.
0 Q% ?/ S; W4 j$ t9 g, U$ C1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？ Q# x! V! z/ W7 b$ }9 Z( q% j
5 {! E& w4 u& {1 P* F5 X3 x1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.1 m2 K4 ^9 ^0 `; T
Let it be.6 C& O& P1 m5 Q
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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* j" _# I, A# g$ {' \1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
# b% `* j/ W8 Athat way.
$ u4 H4 ?% [3 R8 v7 Q6 f# ?9 O9 [ t1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！2 ]+ S+ v9 [! N+ r
; y$ K' g$ Z8 d) k' y8 s9 K' \1. Crying is blackmail.) y% ~8 i: d+ }: V- r% o
1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.0 {6 k0 J) T( P0 t. v
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!+ F0 j7 n, i& R% V
Strong hints do not work!9 k$ D+ y N3 ~4 H- I* n* V/ W
Obvious hints do not work!* |7 U0 {$ o, C8 W* n* e
Just say it!
# N# z& C1 B& q# w$ q& C6 j% h1，你想要什么就说
5 [& _- ~) D: b我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every . _+ a# u# ]' C; ?8 x$ u
question.
$ x; r8 K- H& x3 o1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）3 Z @* s$ b$ V' n; ~ c3 y
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's6 S0 p$ W) `" f. Y) B7 S% J
what we do.6 Y& H$ n" T; [
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) U7 z3 ]& U/ ]1 G" R" Y! Q( P. _. q
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.) t6 Q+ W' }1 e' R; I
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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o& U6 s1 `. w+ I) W, d5 O$ o9 }1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
. i- e1 r* c8 K& m" b3 ^In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.; B1 ^) c6 L2 ` I( O
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了( |. I4 d8 }* B* W
% I8 }0 ?) W: y0 [7 r1 d# w1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
, U4 |& j4 [7 ~( l4 ? `4 Cto act like soap opera guys.5 M1 C1 h- d+ i" O
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们" K$ ^( c; z- \3 B8 t) d. m6 [
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( I2 m' i2 E {. q# A8 s1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们9 y5 A) l& Z1 l9 \4 r" ~, x
3 Q/ n6 f3 d/ ^1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
1 t/ n) u0 G7 j: u2 }, L! F+ gmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
( E7 z" z& |3 E. Z C1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。4 v0 ?) S. ~2 U4 ?
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
?9 d9 g. n$ b1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it3 t4 r. i8 m- A& }
done. Not both.% L* ~7 _, T# h3 z, r6 l( Z
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself. d3 G0 ]( Q- T& k) [* U
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during3 z, k# a% O) g) }, f% t0 s% Q
commercials.
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" x% T" L0 b7 r( L$ O1 k: f1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
# t3 M( T4 E+ f3 A" Y/ l+ x: [" wPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.' E+ w5 m) Y. z% V
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that., m q: O; A! U8 G
9 }0 u4 U9 c5 C; C1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like- q3 d: j, V% Z5 d8 N/ h
nothing's wrong.
& X9 f( ]+ S2 @) e6 x9 I6 P, _We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.& J: H# j$ N2 ~3 p0 g" N7 f9 l0 H1 _
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer! k6 Z% t: s& @0 q% U
you don't want to hear.
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8 M& v( u: V0 f1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
6 ] V; E- n# n* s/ c4 nfine...Really.
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! `' A. k) z/ f: H1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
+ a- ]& R, x$ K6 u6 Tdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. Y' n' E2 i3 n7 f ?
4 s4 F/ i, L& D+ q1. You have enough clothes.& p0 i: O1 l* P" `5 m
6 T$ s: E) `) f1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.! R$ K5 k9 d9 y) k
0 U; @* m" O" @; J9 iYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;8 E* ~! [1 `9 d0 O0 B$ K% ?
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.% b1 O; U9 k4 K, q
. `- }( @3 ]7 W- q/ i: ?' U! c. ]6 PPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.1 a5 K. g- Z6 ~/ `9 I3 |
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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