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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!' ^; q; y- y" s6 q" X, V! g/ Q
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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; q3 }% w$ P- [* Y, n. Q1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.+ B. ~; Q  K$ w7 n# ?$ z7 g& s
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫7 ]5 M% g1 a8 Q* g) L* C

6 Y) q" p+ E4 ]% l+ i- f. F( t! H1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
/ H9 |9 I1 E4 v( ~down.
9 V. i" ]& w1 k* x9 z# wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about , C7 K# f) @6 l# w+ s
you
' J, r1 |3 p! E7 A7 i+ H) Q* @' \leaving it down.
# ?( J% U, Y6 r4 w9 l1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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. L& P. F3 y9 v/ O1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
2 u! y; z! O0 _- _2 Z' m# }, ^  ILet it be.0 L5 F6 P" W9 r5 r; G) m6 \( l( `
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去/ Q4 y, [. m9 O% Y! k2 }8 ^# N

8 N# W6 Q$ H8 ~7 R2 `( q1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
. d* v* ^# S$ Z9 a: s1 zthat way.
; R! A% t: f2 x5 t& K1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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& f0 ^7 R# b! A1. Crying is blackmail.; }* ^2 L* [1 H6 |$ @7 G
1,哭泣是敲诈- M0 e/ c5 n% V8 }1 X0 W- w  R) ]
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1. Ask for what you want.
7 H; u, P  Y: A; ILet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
6 q+ L; g! g+ g4 n& P$ zStrong hints do not work!; x' _+ ]2 M0 |
Obvious hints do not work!* Q4 u* h- J( d8 u: W
Just say it!" j/ e% `9 Z6 i* v1 ?1 \# f
1,你想要什么就说
" D* `  E+ [4 ^2 o/ v; ?4 ]% ]2 W我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
, B, _% h" k1 x: A* q; f' O+ Y/ ?$ j9 w! T1 k$ N9 U
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
8 v3 m: A7 n" M2 w, `question.
4 k( p$ Y' R. P5 X' E8 Y$ Y1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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# I# C1 {6 G; G; L; }1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
/ @8 h& M, ~" Bwhat we do.
; o3 d% [* J$ c. _  y) PSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.$ u' e7 l/ z) `( X9 h: F8 {: n' E
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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' b$ E& l. Q+ y) U. M7 c1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
9 P5 z: F7 s! |& _6 }! v# p1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去  w" M- ~& F! C: C: ]

  \6 R# r( H0 E3 u1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.- R1 ?. s! j) Y8 u- @
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1 s/ \) l1 S6 b, G, y: \我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了# l5 G. l0 C+ `
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us! U1 B/ S& q" L. j
to act like soap opera guys.% j8 p2 {1 p+ B% s# E+ V; ^
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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' ]$ ]9 O, N. Q- z0 w1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.6 T% `9 r5 T# s3 n+ p
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们4 n  }! p/ D; B5 {: n
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
9 D* l( N8 R) Y- @makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.7 A, a0 T0 ^9 |  j' D6 l* ^% ?
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。# _, T" r' Q( I* n/ F: `2 L1 f8 `

+ l( T3 L" }- D( Q, H(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
! Z2 J& y" y& u$ O; `& t1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it/ V3 P8 _. m4 J) Z, y
done. Not both.
% e2 A$ Q- B# @) e' Y7 O% n% wIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
. }; q; j; w9 x$ G% e
* |9 V$ ^- p4 {1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
% Q9 @+ n& z' z! hcommercials.) c% y% d' V+ v4 G* q8 N! Y
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.( [8 U9 [" m; {( [
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings., |3 {; S, R* u% v8 ]7 \) I4 N
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit./ c+ q+ x' |* G- z7 G
We have no idea what mauve is.
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0 r( B/ j. e+ K  g+ u- M6 ~  T1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.& T; b9 z7 e( m
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like4 S/ l- a4 y) N7 e
nothing's wrong.
4 o: t  K7 V/ S/ QWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.  T" y/ S( \  G, Y
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer2 h; c2 ]' p# \3 b5 s( t1 J1 w- |
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
  n% k+ N' c; f& lfine...Really.
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$ ^" H  g/ G1 D3 \& T* j) n1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
2 A6 I7 @0 D; ^3 Qdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
2 y6 {8 A% }9 v( f+ ]! I7 ~# P+ B# I" K# e  v. h
1. You have enough clothes.
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; M4 Q" ]& C! n/ h- s1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!1 o9 B% \3 F, ^2 U, ]
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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  c+ T; l$ v- y$ g1 m* i4 dYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
" C# H/ N  [: D% M  L% _$ QBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.  C3 X$ }3 [# |0 d# l1 y4 A2 `- u
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.! A# _$ ~6 N5 y; o
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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! f' V: U& y" P& X& S* K& Q" ]1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。: Z1 B- f# w8 D- K
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* |$ V, V8 E, p0 a7 }- b( T1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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: F( \) }) _% I* l- d3 d6 U) t) B1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
- _8 ]% b' e8 b8 x' @3 @  @我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!% c! D' z4 w7 u5 j2 a  f

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7 K- d" M" L5 u7 k: p! R1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.' Z4 F/ \" u4 [0 K) z  Z: |
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。4 l* _3 s/ J6 U0 K3 D7 P$ k
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9 }% C8 Z" {! d5 r1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.% u3 {7 u5 o' m
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。2 c3 @' [9 X. W7 }: o0 v2 f

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9 S+ M6 }: Z" D1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
3 N" g- ]4 g- I& Q如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear." ]1 d2 d; W% h0 D2 V. z
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
2 i3 @1 V1 e  Z& W" B4 yALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.) d+ A8 k; O) t' Z5 Z8 N; ]
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.5 X1 h) |6 |+ v6 P; M
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf." q6 m6 i0 ~- X, j) n* _% @' v. X
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。7 @) P8 z! q7 p+ n7 F7 m7 t5 n7 v# J
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1. You have enough clothes.
& W; D6 h0 S& f# m. w: L2 F你的衣服足够多了: @2 t( r" ^; g# `2 q
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1. You have too many shoes.
$ `- P, g6 ~8 n你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
- f8 M) v0 J  M9 @3 v* A1 C  D我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?+ q8 q% _! y% p. ?5 I/ _
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1. Thank you for reading this.
) y$ Z- Y: |: I) `, j7 p3 s多谢你能看完这个' M% J. p. M- N# T, t

! D+ b8 {' O; n, h* UYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.5 [( `7 r/ W0 J2 p' h
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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3 g3 {+ I6 u; o5 P1 S这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置9 G6 R( V6 N" i3 V+ ?  g9 B5 E

+ v& }3 |+ j$ ]: N" W& T还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
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* z. e5 W  w/ Z( F) V应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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0 W; p$ s5 [% U玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:8 L+ Z) \- x, S. f* x
1. You have enough clothes.
9 q9 r7 R1 Y8 q- n5 f* u你的衣服足够多了) _' |; M: M# _
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1. You have too many shoes.
3 {# R9 w1 x2 C: O) j你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?3 u( W* u4 {- t. P* T. I2 P

( D  p; ?, k  ?8 ~----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.. k) H4 Y/ t2 `& X2 ?3 t% z. x
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!  g. C3 g: I, G/ _8 f& V
Strong hints do not work!
/ g0 k' `& F6 U8 P, OObvious hints do not work!
+ ?8 x8 Q; u+ D+ `! l: y& hJust say it!  ~! g3 L' a, Z* c) W
1,你想要什么就说" k/ s  k0 Y+ c3 R! U
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!9 R% W6 h- a: }7 ^, o  e

9 ~' A6 A) e* h2 R: d2 M5 ]关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:3 l- h# l" l% w, p
1. Ask for what you want.$ q- {; t4 O* K# x; A
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
; V8 T+ [& ]% @- S; T# ~Strong hints do not work!
7 w. S0 f9 e: S' q; K  Z) uObvious hints do not work!! T% }4 w8 q# ]) g8 f& g- A( T
Just say it!9 a  R, V  a5 @& d( \
1,你想要什么就说
; b- @8 _7 i/ c% G我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:5 e  c0 f* `; k  F$ x0 ?
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿; L" i2 q4 Z$ ]' U5 H: Z
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:! C# j* c' h; A& d4 q& B3 r2 ^
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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& U5 _$ i: f1 t, S! H这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。# Q+ X8 I! Y( Q& @8 r
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还想问问你的体会呢!
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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6 }% C* Z6 ]1 E( V* K, C# B这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!

% s- g1 X: a/ \; z6 H# T; e/ ]+ v3 m% v6 g/ X3 I# x1 J

( O  _* K3 ~, c! ^& d+ s# V/ w体会?
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0 Z2 j5 }9 D  u$ q5 u" i. g回答到那个帖子下面了
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