 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!' ^; q; y- y" s6 q" X, V! g/ Q
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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; q3 }% w$ P- [* Y, n. Q1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.+ B. ~; Q K$ w7 n# ?$ z7 g& s
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫7 ]5 M% g1 a8 Q* g) L* C
6 Y) q" p+ E4 ]% l+ i- f. F( t! H1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
/ H9 |9 I1 E4 v( ~down.
9 V. i" ]& w1 k* x9 z# wWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about , C7 K# f) @6 l# w+ s
you
' J, r1 |3 p! E7 A7 i+ H) Q* @' \leaving it down.
# ?( J% U, Y6 r4 w9 l1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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. L& P. F3 y9 v/ O1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
2 u! y; z! O0 _- _2 Z' m# }, ^ ILet it be.0 L5 F6 P" W9 r5 r; G) m6 \( l( `
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去/ Q4 y, [. m9 O% Y! k2 }8 ^# N
8 N# W6 Q$ H8 ~7 R2 `( q1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
. d* v* ^# S$ Z9 a: s1 zthat way.
; R! A% t: f2 x5 t& K1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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& f0 ^7 R# b! A1. Crying is blackmail.; }* ^2 L* [1 H6 |$ @7 G
1,哭泣是敲诈- M0 e/ c5 n% V8 }1 X0 W- w R) ]
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1. Ask for what you want.
7 H; u, P Y: A; ILet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
6 q+ L; g! g+ g4 n& P$ zStrong hints do not work!; x' _+ ]2 M0 |
Obvious hints do not work!* Q4 u* h- J( d8 u: W
Just say it!" j/ e% `9 Z6 i* v1 ?1 \# f
1,你想要什么就说
" D* ` E+ [4 ^2 o/ v; ?4 ]% ]2 W我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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4 k( p$ Y' R. P5 X' E8 Y$ Y1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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# I# C1 {6 G; G; L; }1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
/ @8 h& M, ~" Bwhat we do.
; o3 d% [* J$ c. _ y) PSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.$ u' e7 l/ z) `( X9 h: F8 {: n' E
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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' b$ E& l. Q+ y) U. M7 c1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
9 P5 z: F7 s! |& _6 }! v# p1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去 w" M- ~& F! C: C: ]
\6 R# r( H0 E3 u1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.- R1 ?. s! j) Y8 u- @
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1 s/ \) l1 S6 b, G, y: \我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了# l5 G. l0 C+ `
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us! U1 B/ S& q" L. j
to act like soap opera guys.% j8 p2 {1 p+ B% s# E+ V; ^
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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' ]$ ]9 O, N. Q- z0 w1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.6 T% `9 r5 T# s3 n+ p
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们4 n }! p/ D; B5 {: n
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
9 D* l( N8 R) Y- @makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.7 A, a0 T0 ^9 | j' D6 l* ^% ?
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。# _, T" r' Q( I* n/ F: `2 L1 f8 `
+ l( T3 L" }- D( Q, H(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
! Z2 J& y" y& u$ O; `& t1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it/ V3 P8 _. m4 J) Z, y
done. Not both.
% e2 A$ Q- B# @) e' Y7 O% n% wIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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* |9 V$ ^- p4 {1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.( [8 U9 [" m; {( [
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings., |3 {; S, R* u% v8 ]7 \) I4 N
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit./ c+ q+ x' |* G- z7 G
We have no idea what mauve is.
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0 r( B/ j. e+ K g+ u- M6 ~ T1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.& T; b9 z7 e( m
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like4 S/ l- a4 y) N7 e
nothing's wrong.
4 o: t K7 V/ S/ QWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. T" y/ S( \ G, Y
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer2 h; c2 ]' p# \3 b5 s( t1 J1 w- |
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
n% k+ N' c; f& lfine...Really.
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$ ^" H g/ G1 D3 \& T* j) n1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
2 A6 I7 @0 D; ^3 Qdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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; M4 Q" ]& C! n/ h- s1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!1 o9 B% \3 F, ^2 U, ]
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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c+ T; l$ v- y$ g1 m* i4 dYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
" C# H/ N [: D% M L% _$ QBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. C3 X$ }3 [# |0 d# l1 y4 A2 `- u
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.! A# _$ ~6 N5 y; o
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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