ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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; F* W' J6 t# {+ W1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
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# X& K; s7 b# Y. w3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
% n% o) j$ `: r8 z. [you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- t7 e$ Y- f- d( b; H' k$ \landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 Q( l; A6 _  k3 V; ~/ hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 M' e6 W4 p7 I6 @" ^muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

& e5 \+ s# S4 P5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ |; v; {' W1 O9 [! G; p# U" J0 @cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
" b" w$ }+ F) e" f9 Hyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
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! @7 r8 I# h! j; Z- l% h8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 l3 |5 G" _' u$ L0 Q8 Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
0 R3 k& g3 |; t% y# v5 J. d; jmore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- s7 z% R2 Y$ S& N/ r' a7 Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

' @: }6 e" ?' K- E" ~# m3 _  V10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
$ L8 n8 o5 ?) y& D' kroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
- J. D' m! L7 ^; w3 i! L9 h+ d" KRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
9 {$ T; s3 N1 R( R; b66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
* K! Q6 u) Q8 i& B. ~! qyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
8 a; _. y# I: V6 B7 ?8 ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

9 p8 Z3 x1 L( }8 |" u13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 s, f6 n: A* @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, w) ?1 e- U" M6 J6 _- sblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。