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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
5 m! N) v Q! N- ^$ T! eTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
; w, @- v/ ]8 h; vShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,8 F& J1 P4 n! X2 J+ S3 k
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.3 M' _) a9 U% A
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.5 \, @) t: u) ]/ w
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
4 q1 D# o8 J: e& |% W1 ~. ]He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
- t3 V; H0 `! ~7 v5 ]' _$ H$ yWith Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.8 _0 n) }& B( C
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
: z2 Y1 B* A9 j0 M: h- s% R" {Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.+ d) V& C' c/ w. y* T
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
: F) T' [% Z' s* g+ I! XWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.6 I3 f! c; ^+ S- i, S% N$ C |8 Z
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
% W7 X* Y% E2 C2 Y; ETiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
3 n% b6 p/ I: @: JAnd I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,( t5 l) }7 k' v" M) \! m9 v( G. V
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
: ?/ m& N) Z' nShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
( E- X& X6 ^$ U8 Q7 y- r* AHer prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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