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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries: J' @# y9 _ g; a: p
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1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
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2 f1 k+ a4 w8 }1 z+ v" R/ b2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have .
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3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. & `) F. j1 p# ~8 y, ]( h# O- k7 w
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
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* I4 j1 O# A% x" v6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. % _2 O/ K. ~# r$ s2 R" \- V
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7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. % r7 n7 m, C* g6 k2 S! @ F
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8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. ' s/ l" }5 f7 b# J9 e7 \; F( r2 ~5 ~
: ?0 r1 i+ i/ x* G. l9 \* \9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. ! X- N ]" P5 A9 \& g
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
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* p8 C5 r% M/ c1 h- g11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. - a4 O9 z* z& z2 ]3 s
' \5 _3 O- g3 `, R0 l/ Q. @/ R12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
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* T6 {1 K: p3 G8 T/ U: W13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. - t( E( B& n6 P p, F+ V' X
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 0 N$ X% h. G: s5 E9 `
, a! w, z9 x1 @5 U$ s! P) @15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
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8 B. F; a( A9 H1 U, |& v. o16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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发表于 2009-12-2 14:01
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