 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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* {$ w& |/ q& f! e' F4 aI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.$ D! I- L0 Z9 g' p0 ~8 h
U; E2 M' S! \: E- X( K6 KI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ J- f/ N' [1 g$ E/ O' p! [- ?
5 z3 T# _- J! {" q"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 @3 k4 @3 ~" I" O/ Q e
" q- ?3 `. {7 {8 \+ T6 [ eI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:% f( }+ x2 \7 k* k1 t' n+ `
% m$ U3 p' g* e' n0 A; x. x; V"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 u( _0 m6 Z$ @( |
- A& @0 U1 G& j HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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/ @9 H1 ]# v/ N- AI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 |# k) t$ D- n# X @% d
' m! e2 @, E2 Z* }! rI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" U# ?; O- E+ i) x( R+ S
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 R" U1 M9 e) E. w( R
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”& s$ @6 ]3 K4 ~ m
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore. J, N# ?/ H/ S: O
' h9 Y( V: I4 A: U2 h2 hThank you very much!2 Z, g0 T+ Z% [4 L
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/ z6 J X* J2 D% r- FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 e( V! S7 o! ?
1 _1 T% ^1 f! _2 W# g) k+ U' ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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8 U" P% S; d3 W0 l; v2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! X0 o6 O* ?" [% g: t) [2 R
! L) B% b; t% a" K! ]( ~"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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6 L: v3 p2 }9 [5 D+ @/ ~Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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