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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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7 o$ e5 U. ?  _: W3 |' R4 s  fI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 a1 O' D( y+ b* S9 s% I8 O& U' d

- @7 k# c- F& q7 J* P6 N' M3 t) wI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.( i# f2 w" C3 V
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 R: h+ u9 v7 _4 ~# O6 G

& z9 A1 Q7 N! u& F+ C"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! {. h. W/ j; H8 b  o( w
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! G3 k7 {  ^9 j1 X% \

6 F/ \; Q8 q: D6 ?And the second one was:
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7 W# A' z9 o9 m2 [& p"What's the 2nd Amendment?"/ C  ~) D8 o& t6 |. D" `

9 c# q+ x0 ]$ v3 pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; p" L, n* q# |) n8 k. B/ p+ c$ }
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"3 r& o) `7 m5 q  k( {$ l

4 V+ o4 H& F0 h1 g' _/ V( xI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?& w: m- b$ ^$ Y2 H& e% n
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 D9 q1 I# i+ P5 |
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") F$ v2 A, Q- U

5 t8 n6 C' K7 yNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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8 C4 |; r, D5 _( ?$ fImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 l# C. J3 h( {( R7 ~$ M* H/ ~

  Z# i) Z+ L' ~4 G- J8 M" b3 o" W/ l7 ^1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ k: k) V+ N2 q! K/ P/ `
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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* K9 [' j# ]; C) t* |  P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% y9 H' g  i4 T3 _9 ~6 H. sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 D) {7 A9 w! u0 r- [) L6 @

2 M6 {6 D2 g# e* CThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
( N* S) g; j& b% q3 wa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
( Q5 t0 A+ ^" h' f3 @怎么理解?
9 V% ^3 y, G1 m6 z( r( i& ]" {# S  ~50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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9 t' I. k0 a, T+ k3 X& d. k不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
2 P; i5 s# b( F: b怎么理解?
& |( }* J, N! x50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
! G  ?6 l9 t2 @1 s$ H/ Wcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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9 p5 E/ \, W# {7 T  S) {$ J我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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+ f: y  d- e$ r) ?; `4 b我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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