 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.7 }9 z3 i# s! v
8 `4 i' Q- e; ?0 E+ n3 L b7 U+ bI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.# Y* A+ o- S' |. }
. n9 |- _/ c2 c, o" `7 u+ w# b% CI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& c+ |/ v! h" S/ d8 k- ?; i2 n
- i8 X( c/ t* G/ v: h1 O9 cI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:% I, T- r' L! j/ x: b4 p) R; m
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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6 Y3 P( _- f6 F: L' N4 e* Y2 jI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:" p3 e$ B. X% W# H! m/ e
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# [7 ^# @( ^1 x
* d% h! S) `5 q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 B/ {* B9 p! z& z* G4 Y8 i
7 c. ^" @: R; a! ]0 PI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ D& D% Y; L5 }8 i" h Z! I/ s8 d9 b7 i
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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5 z' w( W9 q7 ^6 @: PSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore./ z d: E' e9 O
; Z" e) i, S' ?- H' fThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:7 `3 Q. h* ?/ U# Y K3 ?2 Z
/ S3 X8 f# e+ C0 J1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 E0 z2 a. ^. C6 D% V& K2 v) t
% v) b h! j. ^8 r4 o+ U2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.9 V2 G# G1 L8 {) y8 b6 o1 h/ c
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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+ O) p5 w, @; m2 u& L7 VJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".; o9 |# M& F$ C$ j( H
3 C0 y0 L+ t% ]0 n" jRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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