 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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7 o$ e5 U. ? _: W3 |' R4 s fI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.6 a1 O' D( y+ b* S9 s% I8 O& U' d
- @7 k# c- F& q7 J* P6 N' M3 t) wI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.( i# f2 w" C3 V
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:4 R: h+ u9 v7 _4 ~# O6 G
& z9 A1 Q7 N! u& F+ C"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! {. h. W/ j; H8 b o( w
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! G3 k7 { ^9 j1 X% \
6 F/ \; Q8 q: D6 ?And the second one was:
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7 W# A' z9 o9 m2 [& p"What's the 2nd Amendment?"/ C ~) D8 o& t6 |. D" `
9 c# q+ x0 ]$ v3 pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; p" L, n* q# |) n8 k. B/ p+ c$ }
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"3 r& o) `7 m5 q k( {$ l
4 V+ o4 H& F0 h1 g' _/ V( xI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?& w: m- b$ ^$ Y2 H& e% n
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 D9 q1 I# i+ P5 |
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") F$ v2 A, Q- U
5 t8 n6 C' K7 yNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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8 C4 |; r, D5 _( ?$ fImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 l# C. J3 h( {( R7 ~$ M* H/ ~
Z# i) Z+ L' ~4 G- J8 M" b3 o" W/ l7 ^1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ k: k) V+ N2 q! K/ P/ `
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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* K9 [' j# ]; C) t* | P"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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% y9 H' g i4 T3 _9 ~6 H. sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 D) {7 A9 w! u0 r- [) L6 @
2 M6 {6 D2 g# e* CThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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