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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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* {$ w& |/ q& f! e' F4 aI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.$ D! I- L0 Z9 g' p0 ~8 h

  U; E2 M' S! \: E- X( K6 KI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ J- f/ N' [1 g$ E/ O' p! [- ?

5 z3 T# _- J! {" q"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 @3 k4 @3 ~" I" O/ Q  e

" q- ?3 `. {7 {8 \+ T6 [  eI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:% f( }+ x2 \7 k* k1 t' n+ `

% m$ U3 p' g* e' n0 A; x. x; V"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 u( _0 m6 Z$ @( |

- A& @0 U1 G& j  HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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/ @9 H1 ]# v/ N- AI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!7 |# k) t$ D- n# X  @% d

' m! e2 @, E2 Z* }! rI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."" U# ?; O- E+ i) x( R+ S
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 R" U1 M9 e) E. w( R
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”& s$ @6 ]3 K4 ~  m
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.  J, N# ?/ H/ S: O

' h9 Y( V: I4 A: U2 h2 hThank you very much!2 Z, g0 T+ Z% [4 L

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/ z6 J  X* J2 D% r- FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:8 e( V! S7 o! ?

1 _1 T% ^1 f! _2 W# g) k+ U' ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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8 U" P% S; d3 W0 l; v2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.! X0 o6 O* ?" [% g: t) [2 R

! L) B% b; t% a" K! ]( ~"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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6 L: v3 p2 }9 [5 D+ @/ ~Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
7 g0 [4 Z9 o  f7 ra young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
  S7 s/ _+ ^4 ]2 c& D- j怎么理解?* N# f, j) w+ E) @% l  v- v
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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, P' @, q' L/ H$ n( w) I不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。  P7 C, `6 _& q
怎么理解?
* P# x- W8 U8 a* k$ h3 k50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?" t, t& `' G0 ^
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳   O" v; @1 ~/ G- j

2 t2 m& h1 v) x5 H我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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