Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# V8 i1 v8 B$ [) kDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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. W. U9 o+ r1 N6 s3 S& ZJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 w' r- J8 o" h9 rLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  Z( r) X! q# O& ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 p; w, F" w/ r. g2 pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 }  B7 |( v1 x; Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' a; [0 F1 b) V! Y# }* w  Xuntil someone needs $5.
$ ?4 y, P$ J- ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% U7 h0 T  c. v' |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 I9 O7 O+ \" |2 band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" I& D, c) r- S1 a3 [in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ ~" k2 E9 N, p& AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  @/ P) L" a3 ]! d3 jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) v/ ~) }0 w% L3 z4 q2 rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( e, p) E% L8 q% \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ E' v$ p+ u% F5 n- fMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& Q# P4 i# v2 T5 d* ^! |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  R! c* X6 V0 Q# cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 K  y0 n* t% I' h9 k% ?the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* m3 Y1 v. E! y7 y0 U, Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' u  J4 I2 v5 X. \# K3 }) {9 @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) z7 b$ Y* |8 k) L$ sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: a' x' b" z5 b  n! L4 JGet this! You pay them!
% ?0 [7 M# U9 }- ~. nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' w8 Q3 d7 R9 _5 u+ ~# j* kof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
4 N: @- Q' [/ e; h# R0 K; G, b. W" MWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 n' e8 J( K; h5 v( F- ^4 n8 p: E7 iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
0 ?# G6 U  _# K- n+ M3 `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" U: v( c! S: F. `* H! Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 O8 B# l& E5 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) n5 t  X; M: w1 E2 yfor life if you play your cards right.
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! k2 z& r+ y1 c; \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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* V/ A- x+ p: T9 }5 ~, CForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% X; J9 L- u* i' m$ P6 Z/ P- Xor forward with love
& F4 v. W$ Y( ~- Q: Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.