Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 n  U9 p9 V5 y* x, Z- epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 v8 Y; k3 g% H# P* p7 x5 p1 ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 y7 K! B6 Y7 I1 OExtensive courier duties also required.
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/ w3 {' X/ L! G* m8 x; iRESPONSIBILITIES:
$ v- J( |9 S; o& c( A( s8 Y- `The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- U- ~' I! i4 |until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 G* E- [0 R9 W+ e8 A' U1 d/ zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. I" ]. R4 u# F& xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( X. j. L* F/ j& l$ jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ r0 T* X5 h# b" h. Y; \/ \! usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 a- E0 U; m2 g6 x) pand stuck zippers.
0 k) D( h: _# ~% zMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- {! B) m+ z* g2 E( Pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, y) t9 y* T* `* S* sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 p- y9 `( F8 D! L* p  x! M# Fan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. c$ P; W  F' F& V  H7 WMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 @8 `' w( a# s5 @5 fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 R$ Q) ]8 C. F5 l8 djanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! k5 Q9 p$ j% Z0 r- s1 q- ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& a, n, K5 Q6 x2 Q( d2 eNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: [, w/ r, t' D  i- w- @without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

& ~/ g* L# P+ J' B5 I% QWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) Q9 e0 B+ n2 s5 p- `Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 S0 i/ `$ r* b  m8 a2 o( ?3 Ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 e  r: ^: `+ Q* {of the assumption that college will help them
% t) N9 E( T, u# `# Gbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ s: U+ a# u% M$ m  N* ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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" X" ^) K# y8 G& g' [/ |# h  |1 rBENEFITS:
" L7 W* ^0 Y1 ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 q" l7 P- X/ E; S1 K9 O3 Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 D6 M9 z( ~- o4 Hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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3 B  a& W  p$ C4 B( o$ qfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  f5 X' e5 y( b. ?$ U) |letting them know they are appreciated
' \0 F6 h& t# r( V, p: b7 rfor the fabulous job they do...
9 d0 J; W* k( m$ B8 Q6 Nor forward with love
8 e' \; U" x9 {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.