Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! U$ _- U8 P, ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% s) r" e$ x& l0 M+ Gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" U' @* G( l+ O$ Y4 \4 ~! HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 S) d5 b& r& x3 z2 Oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ P) y) o+ k, ]Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ e! H8 i- F0 P% f! Z; `# nThe rest of your life.
3 j0 O4 o% b" T2 O0 y6 M0 nMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  E* d$ v0 |; P" rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" H9 o* P9 }" z3 d& z1 `Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
% l8 y5 T  P8 Z- Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ ~, Q: j$ B; e5 V6 Y& tand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! C, G1 H$ x* W# s8 }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 ?2 V' x# }, Y/ z5 gMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 ^, Z3 x' e& D7 Q* XMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 q* Y0 E0 W1 M% m- n, N7 chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: m0 [( ^1 d* Q0 G# bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 r) k# }" p$ Y' v0 t. o6 _7 W( W. BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 w- V1 e* t7 H7 FNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  e' D; P( n( S, H1 t; p9 j# Bcan ultimately surpass you.

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9 y+ `7 u$ i6 I: R( N% @PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% c0 B) ]/ ^  ]' ]4 M8 e. y0 WNone required, unfortunately.
( B3 n" C7 t8 U* Y" A& a8 V" qOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. ^1 ?, |4 O( s6 G! f9 oWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) {- x( Y! E+ s- dGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 i2 @& p! R0 A4 i+ PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ O& T& ^/ o, d/ G  ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; T: ^+ J; |: [* n0 T) T# Z- P7 Kno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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7 b9 z* E, F$ b9 s! F4 E' runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* }; j( m; X" L" I) J. |% Pfor life if you play your cards right.

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) _* ~  K- F) Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 D8 v+ z! D. i3 p7 eletting them know they are appreciated
3 ]2 W) S3 P" [  g1 I2 _9 V/ Cfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
* A: O5 l# C; D- F9 Q) Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.