 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 9 B9 z! i3 i/ }+ d$ ~: c
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
' S; D/ M/ L- z8 G8 s/ z: w6 e8 X6 R% B, b0 l; @( B
. k* O) y8 J$ o+ i* NJOB DESCRIPTION:: W/ n/ ~: O0 t+ z j) i, N
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
4 U2 o F! x8 n" Q4 A% l" U
/ t" g+ ^* Q4 E6 k7 V0 i0 m% G5 [8 apermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 4 w" ?. [- f; J8 l( M7 x; C
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 o [: J9 B& ?" Yand organizational skills and be willing to work
2 p, z9 O+ v( m: _variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% i" H2 L; u6 j' Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; M# z! u" R, ?4 ?* S8 G6 c1 g- o4 ASome overnight travel required, including trips to 2 B& \3 [3 }- o4 w# a
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and - D" n* d8 _0 @' t% \; _! z1 w) e
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! ! a3 s8 z/ c5 ?1 s1 J
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. t! ~! v( {/ hExtensive courier duties also required. 6 [$ I# E4 J0 q6 U
* P$ v6 N' r% Y7 L( P/ VRESPONSIBILITIES:9 v, `% o2 E i+ z7 p
The rest of your life.
6 V. x, j: v) P- b3 Z5 G4 CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' e2 [# h+ q/ ?& }until someone needs $5.
8 q- n9 ?6 I/ @7 X: J: b; M' PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. - ^8 ~" J: ?( G# q/ a
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 I9 z v, G% l1 }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ! {8 {) L, y S
in case, this time, the screams from 2 C1 P& Y" M% [ e# H
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 Y( c# }0 e2 r+ w6 @Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. S. P* A- L: i, n1 msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 ]3 \; o( z, w! D8 i8 z3 Kand stuck zippers. ! e1 y4 p, J& I
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 6 ?3 m7 z; S" }& o: k
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. ' V& ?! p8 `, k, ?* U) m" u
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. % {9 B7 F8 s5 a4 i5 D4 {
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, V+ E w& K& C8 S ]0 Fan embarrassment the next. # c# f2 E) N& Q4 v6 @6 }. m& P! q
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a $ Q% c$ d* c# L/ _: Z3 M# o4 F! c: U
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) @; h& p e6 R8 N. TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ d' r. W( a! B, Q5 f; `+ iMust assume final, complete accountability for * @, C/ y; v9 B- Q/ M) P+ c2 v
the quality of the end product.
7 Y; R. r9 f; f. \% g' pResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# r1 P- ^# A$ c1 e# d( x" Vjanitorial work throughout the facility.
- y s" l2 L- \1 t3 F) t8 ~ A. P9 l9 K6 @! S" A! ^ ~
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:' t R& N9 y$ l" r3 G
None. 9 x. J; Z1 O( ?8 w% y6 A* {& p
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 7 }0 w7 _/ S0 W# U
without complaining,constantly retraining and 8 k5 X5 b- M# C3 @+ a" Q5 `
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
J; _* @* \- {8 J( _$ w6 p9 H, @can ultimately surpass you.# D0 s1 j$ U8 r( R- S! `, @7 `
- p) B0 Y; W) Z% H3 z
8 M/ A! `1 P$ J
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 7 `, W/ ~, ]1 X
None required, unfortunately.
3 ?, J6 t" R: f3 V$ o3 {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
) _8 w$ I0 i N1 V+ m" k
' y$ ^' f+ `" J- \: Q) aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; U# V* K" s8 I; w: bGet this! You pay them!
# o6 b, r; X. o& T3 V: zOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
! @, A+ a; g4 n/ n% e# ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ! v3 L! s% Y! S& Z2 L
of the assumption that college will help them
, Q7 U. @4 W I _3 t0 ?8 }0 c+ Jbecome financially independent. ( v( C# ~* f7 \( Z1 L1 @' T
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- |5 B1 |( ^+ o3 @ [4 C; IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ; n/ g% ~ s" F6 M, V: A
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. * X5 v. O0 ~5 G; l2 g* P
" t C; q" H. {# u, \
BENEFITS: 3 }. J5 |- n. N& Y+ k5 J0 E# {
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, " I( A& e/ j' W" d9 A& O
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and - Z" r2 x+ Z2 Y
no stock options are offered,/ z2 h3 a4 U+ K V9 e" G, V
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 9 g7 T/ k) ?/ @( H0 a7 Y( m- [- z" \+ I
+ \7 Y" j/ X, l. q+ r6 I. }
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 X" V7 g, [/ D( l. r
$ o! f: E; V6 Q1 y3 \: Z" ffor life if you play your cards right.7 m6 g M' w, @
# D7 p* N: U; Q
2 G* V: A1 u7 P. a
3 f3 X: D4 s: b- U3 a
$ _4 f" C6 t* ]% i v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **2 J* o; ~* c8 ?
$ p% W1 w4 k$ D, q- [' E- R8 A' U
# P- p6 i1 h1 H5 H8 @! F9 x& F5 |# r0 U- y3 N! y, d
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, - T$ ~3 j$ j+ l. N) `
letting them know they are appreciated 4 g; h f2 @: A6 c0 R( b( ~2 }7 V
for the fabulous job they do...
# n& x6 J' ?3 I P9 u# K! qor forward with love + u, o! k8 X0 I8 `
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.2 `" S6 }) }3 \1 }% t$ Z& @' u% l$ d
+ Y H3 u! k. H, T; o" B
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
