Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 }+ [, v5 x, O& w8 e* \! FLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' |8 b7 `$ W4 j+ pand organizational skills and be willing to work
- R  v( K: O8 C' gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 o1 ^$ l' d& w! Z' j/ j2 `' H: zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ r2 d0 l' W2 T9 m) g/ v9 S9 ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* W! v  n# t! r. C# y& cExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
9 ~1 O. y4 ?5 [2 r6 nMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& [  ^. k3 a! ]+ |' w" puntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ G' j1 r8 q- ?+ a: Hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) c4 D7 S  B% K! {6 Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ H( }! E0 i0 g" `4 w  u& A2 qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: C) m) ~8 z% p9 Y; {' Y) b3 T$ kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  [4 B$ S3 |  p7 Z4 V# bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 K3 n3 u2 o7 v! A" Z0 Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 r- V  [3 b! H  K' r1 MMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 |5 M# D8 [% b+ x' G: ^4 H2 mMust assume final, complete accountability for
- u$ Z# n) D, x' T# v, X* c- Jthe quality of the end product.
$ Y( m) A! Q( b7 R# A) q5 c7 WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

( U) Z0 j# \- [: N: g0 nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; E$ G9 Z/ l/ [8 a3 Y3 c6 h, S2 {+ bNone required, unfortunately.
8 F$ r" D7 G1 Q) t# N: ZOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 ^2 z1 v1 P9 Z3 H9 [! G3 s, {4 tWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* m7 ?! d# y+ f5 C* MOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* w% |/ G7 J3 i9 \) PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- }9 \+ O1 e, Z5 |$ C" E5 t/ Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& I. E5 D; c& G" _% LBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 {- k2 |2 [5 P& ~$ Ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 v0 g6 `% s" V( uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
6 n  h8 f9 a$ {$ @5 s3 Vfor the fabulous job they do...
$ p9 ?- w0 P/ I+ ^% J/ ?$ i7 I! Tor forward with love
$ I* N5 s2 P( v) p; z' mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.