Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 d0 q0 f0 ~  }+ j5 B" k! JMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ t8 V/ B* g: cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! N' O5 k  w) y0 S* `* w9 {5 ^Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ o2 R+ K. N" |: ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- o1 W1 l, P" g9 {1 U: j+ g: }0 rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
, j9 Q: H9 [9 a; a" X" QExtensive courier duties also required.
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) V) y9 W6 L5 \! d# t3 s! y" n$ lRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& O: ~+ ?" m& Aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# J  v1 e- R7 gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- V% r* J% b& Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: @2 J& |$ b6 o: ^- Q, S4 Z7 o. x1 Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 b4 q+ S. @' \5 bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 D1 ]$ D4 Z6 b6 k9 I+ FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 R5 _. u& w# o5 u' V0 I3 q2 ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! W; P9 h5 r! I5 i* \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( k( J% o; C: Q5 f1 q& IMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  o- A/ j. g5 K( ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; U  \0 R2 e+ V$ r5 d* s) tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 A# C  |- |$ mcan ultimately surpass you.
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& D# Y- K2 I$ h5 @/ TPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 {% j6 d4 E, x# J7 L  I& n5 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: g1 i' G' d0 ~. c$ KGet this! You pay them!
% U+ o# l$ Z7 f6 F! vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
, F; V0 i) N# q9 A+ {+ ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 f& Q$ d& T* g6 ?$ Oof the assumption that college will help them
* V1 P# B5 g: X! Z3 P3 Rbecome financially independent.
8 Z9 |; U" g9 d6 aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& A& ^- p2 l) v; ^1 b. `7 w) D. G4 @5 c2 yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ @0 {8 S. E& P1 Q" L8 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 \1 P# D: \& y  g5 H4 X" {( pno stock options are offered,
  w: O2 J: d% H4 Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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9 R" o. Z+ r2 i4 m. K6 P  Efor life if you play your cards right.



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4 W) y$ q2 {+ f* z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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" ]# G$ P, ~) F- `- S1 ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 K2 W/ _6 ]2 _5 ^" Zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 Q$ t# K- G/ x: kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.