Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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/ y. e( e4 O$ h( e" tWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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8 }( z- P! c7 y0 I8 J3 COne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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( s9 i$ m4 Y) O3 fIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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( H0 s- ?- R) ^; }If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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- d* s# w3 ?8 O4 TIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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6 C6 P( E' I  M  k! M. vIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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4 n4 }0 M# G- Q! \2 p4 r+ VIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

1 x4 S, E; S! z4 B8 e3 }( \If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
/ w2 R& n4 U6 K2 }/ i, bHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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) g" o) J" H2 M7 @; k% vSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane