Crazy English! Zt

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' z$ t- i3 s8 Y  dCrazy English!
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2 _1 T' T) _5 Z; x+ ]# Q/ T3 KWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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9 z3 g6 x* U- ]" |: ]0 ^& ~One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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7 a8 v( S: [$ Y  lYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

2 s1 u8 N1 J) ]* NIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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1 o& z9 ^' [$ g7 jIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

: k; D2 v3 x, GWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

# j8 k2 G7 @9 |. WLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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% H* @# ?- r' b6 X' }And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

2 ^; n$ R1 m/ Y6 EDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

9 O: g6 t7 u  S. TIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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* g+ G" b: P# j# qIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

) B6 w1 F9 m3 C3 f  `* W5 ~% m5 IIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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/ I# M& p$ t0 V7 z  \  v* QIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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) j/ F, s) A" CShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

/ r. s2 m/ t) QHave noses that run and feet that smell?

2 Y2 a, \2 a+ w0 r, FHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
1 [  K& Y) }- ?House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane