Crazy English! Zt

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' X7 T0 {$ Z; ], Q0 d" KCrazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

: B1 ^% R% h% y. }  U% nIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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# a, B4 d- w0 Z1 Y, a  E' |If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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- d; @9 V4 p& X7 jThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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0 a  F/ Y& m* f4 b  u! eWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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) q! T  ], V) v7 `2 @$ OThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

- |/ H/ Y: j! E- d5 zLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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- w( f6 X/ ?$ g$ dThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

; m( ?! Q1 E) E1 Z3 lShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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* z4 k: t8 O- dYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

. ^) Q6 S; J, ~+ P6 sSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane