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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?5 P7 t0 U- Y- V1 P
* m$ \, f" E! b8 V0 O. l* ]Let's face it
/ U2 c7 c# b9 r& ^# VEnglish is a stupid language.* B$ R+ u" Q+ N* Y* f+ ?. `# |
There is no egg in the eggplant$ o) A& x# F+ W0 I0 k- X9 v0 E: s
No ham in the hamburger
1 H* v- D. ~ lAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.9 h, e! R5 F2 Y/ e
English muffins were not invented in England
( p4 ^* v; _' n9 J* D; ?* \French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
3 ^0 ^. c2 v% |9 oBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that$ G! x1 Q4 @( ?+ T X- N
Quicksand takes you down slowly
, f2 M" R1 Q2 kBoxing rings are square. O9 m7 A- a! r0 @4 }9 _* v8 c \& n
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 2 w" E* p& w! @8 S7 E
( U9 _& T0 j7 LIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.: Q" M. c) W6 d v L6 A1 b* [
If the plural of tooth is teeth
0 Y5 H, y. z* ~/ _$ OShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- K7 c# {1 t& k6 D4 `
If the teacher taught," ]7 x" K% H2 i
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
+ o. U. G v) T4 ^What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
0 }! {$ u W( R" A" @% w. BWhy do people recite at a play3 J2 h9 ~5 k- A) a2 K: c
Yet play at a recital?5 |* G. O" b2 u5 k H4 J7 M
Park on driveways and
1 M/ X1 Z- k, x3 K8 @; Y9 |Drive on parkways
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# H" o2 v7 |2 P. bYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy0 c8 }. T- O Y9 A8 x9 x2 O) w- c
Of a language where a house can burn up as9 \8 D' |) V. m8 ]2 k+ p# |
It burns down6 t, u% R% @ Z
And in which you fill in a form
, h; ]' e' K3 k) ]9 E1 @# BBy filling it out* J( U" D# V- ?$ A7 j4 a
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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' A% F! e+ ^2 YEnglish was invented by people, not computers4 g5 ^; @ V% X' z9 s
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
5 }( g8 K6 F: | y! \(Which of course isn't a race at all)9 P* s, c' | n0 O& S6 \6 h* A
' z/ Y. F; ]- N, w5 q2 EThat is why
3 v+ Y/ c5 B/ c) z1 v" g# _When the stars are out they are visible
& s3 c: i- }. zBut when the lights are out they are invisible
. y) w C% @+ H4 h) w' o; sAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch6 J: m) n3 c$ g/ }7 }4 s1 b; t
It starts: C! _( s; u% X7 h
But when I wind up this observation,# e- S7 B" ^# I5 j0 v# E9 b
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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