 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?* S; s, {& K- b: G- @5 f4 [
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Let's face it
: W# h' U* B# a! t+ g- SEnglish is a stupid language.
6 X$ a2 I$ L1 C; Q( n. {There is no egg in the eggplant
7 h$ x" z3 A \" RNo ham in the hamburger
: s% _: y3 w" c; iAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
) |' R0 l% q3 ?' S6 XEnglish muffins were not invented in England+ T" T& m% n" Y# G" R/ Y
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
( E' N6 X% {- P* `0 ^1 mBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
% H0 s- B/ s6 i; d# dQuicksand takes you down slowly
+ Q5 w& G9 F9 C% T$ UBoxing rings are square
1 x0 z. D$ B, c5 y+ W, v$ X [And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. + P; X# A4 O5 k6 s, T/ `
2 _% \- m g L- `, L, N: l1 b! MIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.) b4 L0 g3 p5 b' t- K2 A
If the plural of tooth is teeth# r8 U- f5 d# I* F
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
7 W1 |/ E. n4 A U; K" U, `If the teacher taught,5 b) l2 U* S j% H9 E
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables# N6 a+ E& l8 P/ {
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
; ] f& {* x$ y4 s; d; q2 FWhy do people recite at a play
: w2 E# N- x" {$ a5 v6 Q8 [Yet play at a recital?/ k* h* h0 t" ^
Park on driveways and9 f% [1 T0 X2 t9 U. M
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy& ^# X j! q E# y
Of a language where a house can burn up as( g* s6 V' H$ }2 v
It burns down
* ?% l5 w/ v; A. uAnd in which you fill in a form
' `% V. N2 |7 x9 n) s% X* w# ABy filling it out5 U+ C5 \$ W- N% f6 L
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers" ~8 e3 l3 y! [5 b* h
And it reflects the creativity of the human race) u1 O2 b7 N) {3 s4 H
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why5 o) M5 a" y9 Q7 x- H- d5 a
When the stars are out they are visible
( ?, V% V1 Y: a5 P- v: C0 SBut when the lights are out they are invisible- H2 q1 `/ t1 R: s' c( d% G
And why it is that when I wind up my watch8 M0 Y4 J: \% H/ V, ~
It starts
( r% x9 V v- s' U* Z- UBut when I wind up this observation,9 e) D4 q5 p5 U, ]
It ends. |
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