Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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  R& d! B( G- H; G2 x  Y. V1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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  F3 K1 T9 B/ f+ }+ ^3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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5. Are You Andy or Barney?
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6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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: B- R" V2 ^% C8. I pay your salary!
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$ P5 c' a$ Q; [) q9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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2 y+ f1 b+ n6 J% p+ X3 s10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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( a- `* n$ s8 [  y; \6 I12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"