Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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. i( a9 m  G: U+ M; M0 D, D# T1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

$ |" h4 Y. v/ Q: i* Z4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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0 B" _5 y+ y8 a+ d9 `3 w5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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8 c. _% C, s$ X  z8 I+ R- ]7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

; `/ `# v0 ]$ E4 F! G0 G/ m8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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6 a4 s% @  S( v; z. }10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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4 r! `9 K& `# w- G- |7 @0 F& ]9 w( q0 U11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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5 |( ?+ ~/ C) ^5 V' s8 K5 Z12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"