Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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( X* h. v7 {; S4 n% Z> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
2 l# q6 G: P4 }1 u6 S! X- E> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
* |. F& ^& r/ M4 n( s6 A- n> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
- N( Z; r, o, e  a/ \>cream.
) c- s$ i+ j7 W% P# E) ]  {0 r> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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& M7 I; y3 F8 x> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
( {" p. T. S) H* R> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
( O. Q3 P) z- A- E: ]* J6 I> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
& q3 m" ?6 q; s0 X> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
/ ]; I3 ]' k* X2 v6 ]9 O' V> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
  h" Y) ?6 u- d) d> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
: N; w& g$ \" O) N' u4 D7 g> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
0 X5 k( c- _8 ~7 n& T, ^1 O> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
3 ]0 E* B% I+ t% r2 j% @6 C) L) t> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
1 ]0 C3 K4 U% a2 p  A% M8 P> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
: Y& Y% L2 T9 ?6 z3 _; M# o1 v. E> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
$ ?# }0 w( X, {/ D! L' `( F2 j' f> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
0 ^) H, `* J% A0 C* o" y> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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. q3 I5 }! p6 v" _3 w# U> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
3 `7 X5 j$ c* ?: K9 {5 o> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
/ B2 T. F( T' E- g> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
> > > >
! k0 J7 r. c1 H0 j9 g7 b- ^> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
& `2 W4 ~( j8 h  \) d! y> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
% `1 F4 f( k2 i( q% |, d> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
: F1 ~. w9 I) M# k3 D> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business